Kaleidoscope (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Present

At home that night, Nick sat in the kitchen with Nellie in his lap, taking comfort in her soft fur and uncomplicated love, scrolling through his Insta. There he was, pictured in Imogen's post, with comments from their mates about what a cute couple they made. Nick didn't think it was a particularly great picture—definitely not as good as the ones he'd taken of him and Charlie in the snow.

Beneath Imogen's Insta post was a photo of Charlie, posing with a girl Nick vaguely recognized.

Well, that was coincidental, wasn't it, those two pictures next to each other?

His mum came home, and Nellie jumped off his lap to go welcome her. "Had a good day, Nicky?" she asked as she came into the kitchen with the shopping over her arm.

He had not, but he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it. "Mmm."

"What's up?"

Nick decided he could at least tell her the part about Imogen. Maybe she'd know what he should do. He put his phone down and began. "I said I'd go on a date with this girl, but I kind of also agreed to go to Charlie's birthday party on the same day."

"Oh, do you like this girl?" his mum asked.

"Well, um ... Her dog died."

She frowned. "Uh, not following."

Nick supposed that was kind of out of the blue. He tried to explain. "She was really upset, and I felt bad. And she asked me out, and I didn't know how to say no. And I tried to tell her we probably shouldn't go out, and I couldn't. Because I didn't want to upset her when she was already crying about her dog."

"Oh, okay."

"I mean ..." Now that he had started talking to his mum, he wanted to tell her all of it. Or, well, a lot of it. "A lot of people are expecting us to get together, but I don't think I like her like that."

"No, you shouldn't go out with someone because you feel sorry for them."

"Yeah." She was right. He needed to find some way to let Imogen down without making things worse. If he could only figure out how.

His mum turned toward the cupboard, saying, "Don't worry. The right girl will come along, just you wait."

He should tell her. He should tell her right now what was going on with him and Charlie, how confused he was, how much he wanted just to know one way or another ... but if he didn't understand himself, how could he expect her to accept him for whatever he was?

So he didn't say anything.

Over dinner, he kept going back to the idea of Charlie's birthday, and what he should get him as a present. He had a lot of work this week, plus rugby and a dentist appointment, and really no time to go out and shop for anything suitable.

"What are you thinking of, Nicky? You look so serious."

"Oh. Do I?" He smiled across the table at his mum. "I was just thinking about what to get Charlie for his birthday. I don't know when I could go out to buy anything."

She frowned thoughtfully. "No, there isn't much time this week, is there? What does he like?"

"Um ... Books. Music. But you never know what someone already has, and a book is kind of a boring present."

"I like them." Nick's mum smiled. "But I see what you mean. Well, what do the two of you do together?"

Nick immediately thought of kissing Charlie, and he nearly choked on his water. When he could breathe again, he said, "Well, MarioKart. He beats me literally every time. And—and you know what was a great day? That day he came over and it snowed." He smiled at the memory. That had been such an amazing day. The day he and Charlie had really become friends. Suddenly Nick remembered reaching out to touch Charlie's hair when he first arrived, fluffing it with his fingers when snow landed in those wild dark curls. Was it possible that he had liked Charlie even then, all the way back at the start, without realising it? Was that the day they started becoming—them? Warmth filled him, and he smiled wider, thinking about it. That had been probably the best day he'd ever had.