Kaleidoscope (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Believe

Friday was Sports Day for Truham and Higgs. Normally, Nick looked forward to it—a chance to spend all day outside with no classes was always nice. And it was warm for a change, too. It should have been a perfect day. But all he could think of was Charlie.

Nick glimpsed him in the gym in the morning when they were picking up their team bibs, but at the sight of him Charlie turned and went the other direction.

He felt the hurt of that all the way through. He wanted to go after him, to make him talk. But Nick was booked pretty much all day up to the rugby game, helping set things up and break them down and organise events. Normally he liked that, too. It was always good to feel useful. But ... not today.

He didn't set eyes on Charlie the rest of the day, and while he tried to distract himself, he couldn't get his mind off the situation, stopping to look round for Charlie every few minutes.

Even as he ran out onto the rugby pitch for the big end-of-the-day game, which was usually one of his favourite parts of the year, Nick was searching the crowd desperately for Charlie. But he was nowhere to be found.

They ran the first play, on which Nick scored fairly easily, and set up for the next. Before he kicked off, he turned round to look for Charlie again—and this time he saw him. Standing on something, so that his head was above the rest of the crowd. Nick stood frozen, staring at Charlie across the pitch. There was no way he could play an entire rugby match with Charlie just over there, waiting to break up with him. He just ... couldn't.

It didn't matter to him any longer who knew that he liked Charlie, or what they thought about it—or him. It only mattered that he had to get to Charlie, had to somehow make him understand how much Nick wanted him in his life.

He turned to Coach Singh and tossed her the ball, ignoring her confused protest, and set off across the pitch toward Charlie, hoping that Charlie wouldn't turn and leave when he saw him coming. He was so worried that he burst into a jog, slowing only when he reached the mass of spectators. They moved aside for him, or he thought they did. It didn't matter. All he could really see was Charlie.

Nick stopped in front of the table Charlie was standing on, and Charlie stepped down so that they were face to face. His heart pounding, Nick reached for Charlie's hand. He could feel the tension easing from his entire body at the contact, the slight caress of Charlie's thumb along the side of his own. He looked into Charlie's eyes, but he couldn't tell what he was thinking. He wasn't pulling away, so that was something. Maybe there was still a chance to get through to him. Shifting his grasp so he was clasping Charlie's hand, Nick led him away from the field and into the now-deserted school building.

Inside, in the corridor, he let go of Charlie's hand and turned to face him. He had practised his words last night and this morning and all day in his head. The last thing he had wanted was to get to Charlie and not know what to say.

So he started with the most important part. "I don't want to break up." He took a deep gulp of air. "I know people have hurt you, and you feel like I'd be better off without you, but I need you to know that my life is way better because I met you."

Charlie shook his head. "You don't have to say that."

"I do," Nick insisted. "And I'll keep on saying it until you believe me. I don't care about getting into fights, or pissing off my mates, or anything like that. It's all worth it to be with you."

Charlie was still standing there, still looking at him, and Nick was determined to keep going as long as it took to convince Charlie that they belonged together.

"You are the kindest, most thoughtful and caring and—and amazing person in the whole world."

"Nick," Charlie said softly.

But Nick wasn't done. He needed Charlie to know how he felt. "And if you really want to break up, then I would respect—" He swallowed hard. He would, but he didn't know how. "Your decision. But I want us to be together."

Charlie took a step towards him. "Nick."

"You're my favourite person. I need you to believe me," he said desperately.

"Nick," Charlie said again. His hands came up to cup Nick's face, stopping the desperate flow of words. "I believe you. I believe you." And he leaned in and kissed him.

If kissing Charlie usually felt fizzy and light, this was ... beyond that. Maybe because it had been days, maybe because Nick had been so terribly afraid that he would never have the chance to kiss Charlie again, today it felt like the ocean crashing over his head, drawing him under somewhere new. His hands moved restlessly over Charlie's back, holding him close, and Charlie's hands slid over his shoulders to spread across Nick's back in an answering intensity.

At last they stopped, looking at one another. Nick could feel the waves ebbing, but they went slowly, and when Charlie laughed and said, "We're in the corridor," he looked up, blinking at the sun streaming through the window, in surprise. He had completely forgotten where they were.

"Oh." He looked at Charlie and smiled. "So what?" The entire school had seen him walk off the pitch to Charlie. What they thought about that was their problem. Nick had Charlie back in his arms, and Charlie wasn't going to leave him, and that was really all that mattered right now. That, and making good on a promise. "You free on Sunday?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Will you go on a date with me? Just us?"

Charlie's smile lit up his whole face. "Yeah. Where are we going?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then it's a surprise." He pulled Charlie close, hugging him tightly, breathing in his sharp, clean scent. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

And they held each other like they were never going to let go.