Lost Love [H.S]

sixty seven

14 September 2021

I've never spent the night in the same room as a newborn, I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't what happened last night.

I was expecting loud cries to wake me up every hour but Sonny's cries were soft, he wasn't very loud but they still woke me up. Dr Reese helped Addie with breastfeeding the first few times because he was struggling to latch but after a few times he got the hang of it.

Everytime Addie fed him I'd hold her against my body and we'd both sit silently to watch him feed, little soft breaths and whimpers that would leave him while his tiny hand would lay on Addie's chest softly.

Nothing could prepare me for how infatuated I'd become with Sonny, he's so tiny and perfect. He's completely healthy despite being born a tiny bit earlier, his weight was just below where he should be but Dr Reese isn't worried.

He's my third child yet I have no idea how to care for newborns, I've never really been around them except for when I met Posie for an hour when she was born. This, however, knowing Sonny comes home with us and we have to make sure he's safe and healthy is overwhelming.

Addie's a troper, she's absolutely exhausted but she's stayed smiling the entire time. I don't think anything could wipe her smile away, she's in love with our boy.

She's always wanted a baby boy, she claims to be a boy mum and I'm so excited to watch her flourish into that role. Watching her hold Sonny, cuddling him, kissing him, whispering soft words to him has been mesmerising.

She's been discharged today, told all the things she needs to do. She did seem a little embarrassed to have me listening about how to clean her stitches but I don't care, she brought a child into the world and the aftercare isn't something I'm going to suddenly find disgusting.

Capri and Posie know their little brother is born but they're yet to see him, we want them to meet him in person instead of seeing a picture or over facetime.

We're limiting the people meeting him today to the girls, my mum and Niall just because we want peace and quiet for the first day we're back and also so we can begin to get into a routine.

My mum's going on holiday in two days so Niall offered to help with the girls where needed, he doesn't mind being a helping hand at all. He's also over the moon that he shares a birthday with his nephew despite Addie feeling bad he didn't really get to celebrate his birthday due to her being labour, he doesn't care though.

"... and you're going to get to meet your big sisters today, they're a little crazy sometimes so be warned but I'm sure they're going to love you." Addie's voice is incredibly soft as she speaks to Sonny who's led on her thighs while she carefully dresses him in his going home outfit. "Harry?"

I look at her face, seeing a soft little smile on her lips. "Yeah, baby?"

"Why didn't we think of his name before? Like all nicknames are sun related, his bedroom gets the most sunlight, his going home outfit is covered in suns. Why did it take us so long to figure it out?" She laughs softly, looking back at Sonny as she adjusts the orange hat on his head and leans down to press a kiss on the tip of his tiny nose.