Lost Love [H.S]

sixty nine

Warning: mentions and discussions of post natal depression.

31 October 2021

Waking up with Addie on her favourite day this year was much nicer than sending her a text like last year.

She's been excited to celebrate Halloween since last year, she's been costume hunting for a while to figure out what we can all go with. We've decided on Frozen, well, Addie decided on Frozen.

I've noticed her slowly slipping through my fingers, becoming someone I don't even know and it's the scariest thing to watch.

She claims to be fine, that she just has the 'baby blues' but I can't help but think she's downplaying everything so I don't worry. Addie is like that, she downplays because she thinks her problems aren't that important when they truly are, especially to me.

I noticed a difference in her before Sonny was born but it just seems to grow more intense by the day. She's anxious, irritable and sad. It hurts my heart to watch but I have no idea how to help her.

Obviously, I've researched stuff because that's all I could think to do. I don't want to confront her and cause her to blow up at me because I feel like that is exactly where it'll lead.

I plan to speak to her in some way tonight, maybe try to hint at the fact I think she's suffering from postnatal depression but not cause any anger. I just want to help her in any way I can.

"You, baby sun, are the cutest reindeer I have ever seen!" I gasp at Sonny who lays on the bed in mine and Addie's room. He wiggles when he hears my voice and the cutest, chubby, toothless smile appears on his face.

He's dressed in a fluffy, light brown onesie with a pair of reindeer antlers on his head. His little, wispy blonde curls around the brown band, I carefully peel him up from his pillow cage and kiss his sweet forehead while his smile remains on his face.

A happy baby gurgle leaves his lips along with some dribble that I promptly wipe away, "now where's your gorgeous Mumma, baby sun? Where'd she go?" I ask him, watching the smile stay on his face as he lays happily in my arms and moves his arms with excitement.

"I'm in here!" Addie's pretty voice speaks from the bathroom, my attention going to her as she stands in a green dress while doing her makeup in the mirror.

She's got a wig on, her green dress sparkly along with some over the elbow green gloves, applying a soft pink lipstick to her lips.

She's dressed as Anna from Frozen.