Lost Love [H.S]

seventy four

3 February 2022

"Say mama." I try to encourage Sonny who's sitting in my lap with a big smile on his face and wide brown eyes. I know he won't say mama because he's too little but every time I say it, he giggles.

He's propped up on the sofa, I'm crouched down in front of him and holding his little legs gently so he doesn't fall. Although he's gotten so good at sitting up, he's such a strong boy so I'm not too worried he'll fall, especially with the support of the sofa back.

"Bah!" He squeals, it's the only thing he really says and it will always melt my heart. I can't believe he's grown up so fast, time has flown by since he's been born and I'm loving watching him learn new things.

I've gotten upset a few times over the fact he's growing up so quick, finding myself looking through all the pictures from when he was tiny which sends me down the rabbit hole of looking at Capri's baby pictures and upsetting myself even further.

I just can't believe how fast everything has gone, life moves fast and the pictures will forever be a reminder of that. I can't quite hold onto the moments forever but I'll always be able to reminisce and look back on pieces I never want to forget.

"Bah? No, mama!" I laugh, moving my hand and gently tickling his sock covered feets so he squeals and kicks them around.

Harry is currently making the girls ready upstairs, making sure their hair is done and they're dressed ready for school. They're both excited to be going back, Capri wouldn't even go to sleep last night because her excitement was through the roof.

I'm glad both of them enjoy school so much, Posie didn't but now she loves being around her friends all day. She still has days where she gets upset and worried, sometimes Harry and I allow her to have the day off if she's feeling especially anxious.

Sonny continues to giggle, all snug in his baby onesie. His eyes match mine and Posie's perfectly now, his blonde hair has curled a lot more at the ends and I hope it stays blonde because he's like my little clone.

I adore the fact my genes have pushed through more than Harry's because Capri is just his genes and Posie has my brother's so I finally get my sweet mini me.

"Oh I love you, sweet baby boy!" I grin, leaning forwards and attacking his little face in kisses while he giggles and reaches forward and grasps my face gently to keep me close while I kiss him.

He continues to giggle at the ticklish feeling of my kisses on his skin, his laughter warms my heart without fail every time I hear it. There's something about baby giggles that just gives me an extreme amount of happiness, it's the best sound to exist.

Something about my children's laughter and happiness just will forever make me smile.

Sonny and I's peace is interrupted however when the girls come rushing down the stairs with Harry trailing behind them. They both have massive smiles on their faces, Capri in a pair of cream jeans with a pink knitted sweater, her hair in two plaits down her back with a few baby hairs flying around.