The flip of a switch || Tommyinnit SBI adoption

Chapter 9

I waited in my temporary room, sitting on the bed next to Tubbo until I heard everybody else go to bed. Then I crept into the bathroom, where I washed my aching cuts. I stared at myself in the mirror. I hated how I looked, I was too fat, and I was too much trouble, everything was my fault. I loved having Tubbo here but I knew that it was always my fault we had to leave the houses and I didn't want to make him leave this one where we seemed to be safe for now. 

I slipped my razor out my pocket.

Just 5 cuts today. 

5 on each arm. 

I rinsed them off under the cold water, relishing in the sting it brought, enjoying punishing myself for everything I had done. The feeling of cold water woke my brain up a little, and I realised that I had to go back to my room quickly before somebody caught me. I re-bandaged the cuts and washed all the blood off the razor and slipped silently back into my room. I curled up next to Tubbo and soon fell sound asleep.

******* TIME SKIPPPPPP*********

I woke up, blinking my eyes at the bright light. Looking around, I located the source as the window, where the curtains were wide open, letting sunlight flow freely into the room. Tubbo was already awake, as I could have guessed he would be, sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, biting his nails and looking nervous. 

"Tommy... They aren't mad about last night are they? I don't want you to get hurt..." 

"It's fine Tubs, I sorted it out, they aren't mad," I assured him, trying to rub the sleep from my eyes. 

"Ok... They seem alright," He started, hesitantly, I could tell he wanted me to tell him a bit about them. 

"Well..." I began, "From what I have seen, they are really nice, so far they have been amazing, but don't get too ahead of yourself you know how quickly things can change," I told him, slightly sternly. 

"Fuck you," He said, playfully, sticking out his tongue. 

"Fuck off, " I replied, laughing. We both got dressed, Tubbo changing into some of my new clothes since he only had one set. Then, Phil called us down for breakfast. I looked at the floor, not wanting to meet Tubbo's eyes. 

"You still aren't eating properly, are you?" He asked me, frowning. I shook my head. 

"They know." I said shortly, "They caught me purging and..." He grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently. 

"Let's go downstairs," He said. 

He didn't say it was going to be ok. Because neither of us knew if it would, but he comforted me, and for that I am eternally grateful. We walked quietly downstairs, I stood in front of Tubbo protectively; I knew that Wilbur had said he wasn't mad last night, but I had to be sure, and it couldn't hurt to be a little extra cautious. 

In the kitchen, Phil had already set the table, when he saw me and Tubbo come downstairs he smiled and waved. 

"Hi boys! I've made pancakes!" He said, his voice was light and happy. 

I saw Techno walking over to us, and he looked at me, miming me speaking to him. I nodded and turned to Tubbo, who was looking up at me, asking with his eyes if he should go and sit down. I nodded subtly, and he did so, looking nervous, but more confident than in a lot of the other homes we had been in. I had spent the morning telling him things I knew about them, and I was glad he felt comfortable. I knew, however, that he had a habit of failing to notice when people were faking it, so I was still wary. 

Techno drew me away to the side, but I made sure Tubbo could still see me. He started to speak;

"Hey, I know you find it hard to eat a lot, so how about we try just a little to start with, ok? What kind of stuff would you feel comfortable eating?" He asked me in his monotone voice, somehow managing to sound gentle even through the seeming lack of emotion. 

I thought for a minute. I had two options here; Option one, say that I don't mind, soothe him and be certain that I won't anger him. Option two, tell him what I actually felt comfortable eating, and risk angering him. I looked back at Tubbo, and decided that I wanted to make the effort for him, so I said, "Umm, some fruit would be nice if that's ok sir.. I mean... Techno," I winced at the title, they had asked me not to call them that. 'Too late now' I thought. 

Techno also frowned at the title, but seemed pleased that I had told him something I wanted to eat, "Ok, I'll go get you some, you can go join your brother at the table?" He lifted his voice at the end, phrasing it like a question, but not really giving me an opportunity to answer before he walked off. I grinned to myself, pleased that my gamble had played out well, and walked over to sit with Tubbo. I heard Phil asking Tubbo the same questions he had asked me, about boundaries or something. Tubbo answered quietly, and Phil went to write it down.

Tubbo sat awkwardly at the table with Wilbur, fidgeting with his hands nervously. I understood why, I had been scared too after what happened last night, but I knew the silence would only make Tubbo more nervous, so I plucked up the courage to say, "Anyone got a favourite animal?" 

It was a simple question. One would think. Clearly not in this house. That one question sparked up a storm of debate, Techno arguing that the pig was CLEARLY superior, Phil saying that he quite liked crows, and Wilbur wildly disagreeing, whilst stating that anybody who liked anteaters was insane. Tubbo even had the courage to say that he loved bees, and they quickly involved him in their discussion. I sat back and watched glad that he was talking to them, and that there was no conflict. Phil brought over the pancakes, which Tubbo got quite excited about, pancakes were a very rare treat in most houses, and were mostly used to taunt us with, not that it worked on me, I was used to being hardly fed and would easily pass up the pancakes. I smiled asTechno brought me a small bowl of strawberries and grapes. 

"Boys, if you don't mind, we were thinking of inviting some family friends around today, for you to meet? Does that sound alright?" Phil asked, once they had moved on from the topic of favourite animals. 

Tubbo looked at me, before saying, "How many people?" 

"Umm, maybe 7? Does that sound ok?" 

I nodded, and Tubbo did as well, looking at me worriedly. I understood his concern, I didn't really do well in... social situations... but I would be fine. I knew he would want to meet them. 

They finished their pancakes, and I managed to eat the majority of the fruit Techno had given me, and then, after 15 minutes or so, the doorbell rang. The guests were here. 

Hope you enjoyeddddd! 

Word count: 1237 ( keep forgetting to add this in... whoops.... oh well!)