The flip of a switch || Tommyinnit SBI adoption

Chapter 39

********* Phil's pov **********

The boys were all out at the park, and I was searching the house for anything sharp, moving all the scissors and razors to my room in a locked box or downstairs, and making sure all medication was in the cupboard in the bathroom up high. I couldnt really lock them in a box since the boys needed to be able to take it daily when I wasn't there, but this was better than nothing. I I thought needed to get some more of Techno's schizophrenia meds anyway, but when I checked the tub it was half full. Strange. Since both Wilbur and Tommy had tried to commit they had to be in sight of me, Techno or Tubbo at all times, and neither of them were very happy about it. I had spoken to dr simmons and he was going to get Wilbur some depression medication, I hadn't told Wil this yet however... I would tell him before his next therapy session. Techno and Wil went on thursdays, and Tommy and Tubbo on fridays, and they all went to the group session on saturdays. School was starting soon, and I had signed both Tommy and Tubbo up for the same school as Techno and Wilbur. Once they were all going to school we were going to be very busy, what with all the therapy sessions we had signed up for. I sighed; I would never regret fostering Tubbo and Tommy, but it was Hard Work!

******** Techno's pov *********

"No... please stop," I whispered, the voices in my head were getting overwhelming, I couldn't hear over all the shouting and screaming. We had just arrived back from the park when they started getting loud, and I knew I should probably get Phil or Wilbur but I didnt want them to find out I hadn't been taking my meds. 

You should just kill them. 

The voices told me, my head pounding. 

Kill them allllll. Theres a knife downstairs.

"I can't. They're my family. I don't want to," I cried quietly. 

The shouting was overwhelming. I was curled up in the corner of my room trying desperately to block it all out but they kept getting louder. 

You must kill. 

"Stop it," I whispered pathetically. 

You must get blood.

"Stop," I cried, louder this time. 

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

"Stop! Get out of my head!" I shouted, loudly. I knew Phil would have heard but i just needed it all to stop. I needed it to go away. 

The voices raged louder, and I was vaguely aware of somebody knocking on the door, and then opening it, but my eyes were tightly closed and the raucous in my head blocked out all outside noise. I felt a hand on my arm, grounding me. But the voices raged louder. They cried out in uproar. 

They wanted blood. 

Somebody was speaking to me but I couldn't hear them. I cried as the voices seemed to split my head open. 

They were so loud it hurt. I felt a few small objects being pushed into my hand, and I opened my eyes to see Dad, holding a glass of water, giving me the meds. Wilbur was in the doorway looking worried. 

"It's so loud," I whispered, the voices violent screaming blocking out Dad's reply. 

But I knew he was telling me to take the meds. 

"I don't want to," I cried quietly. The phrase 'can't hear yourself think' was becoming very literal. 

I saw Dad's mouth move but I couldn't tell what he was saying. I knew I needed to take them. It wouldn't stop otherwise. 

The voices raged and shouted. My head felt like it was splitting open. 

I took the meds, passing my Dad back the glass of water, and pushing myself further into the corner as he just held my arm tightly, grounding me as I waited for the meds to take effect. 

The voices still screamed, but quieter, and I could now hear Dad as he said, "Deep breaths Tech deep breaths. The meds will take effect soon. Can you hear me?" He looked at me worriedly and I nodded slightly. Relief showed in his face, "Good, the voices will be gone soon, dont worry." He gave me a smile, and glanced at the doorway. Wil was no longer there, I assumed he was downstairs with Tommy and Tubbo. 

After who knows how long my head cleared, and I let out a breath I didn't realise I had been holding, tension leaving me a little. Dad said, "You haven't been taking your meds have you?" 

I shook my head, refusing to meet his eyes. 

"Why not?" He asked gently, trying to meet my gaze and failing. 

"I don't like them. It's too strong. It feels so... emotionless." I said, quietly, 

"Thats ok, we can get them changed, I'm sure dr simmons will help with this. For now though can you keep taking these ones? It wont be for very long but its surely better than having another episode?" He asked me, his eyes kind. 

"Ok," I said weakly, submitting to my fate. 'It won't be for very long,' I told myself, 'I can handle that'

"Why didn't you tell me?" Phil asked me.

"You got kidnapped and then when you were back you were worried about Tommy and Wilbur and I didn't want to... add to your burden." I admitted, finally glancing up to meet his eyes. 

"You wouldn't be adding to my burden Tech," He promised me, "No more than I can't handle anyways. Promise next time you'll tell me so I can help sooner?" 

"Promise," I whispered. 

After a while we went back downstairs, where Wil, Tubs and Toms were, looking nervous. 

"Tech," Wilbur said, running up to me. I opened my arms in invitation of a hug, and he gladly accepted, squeezing me tightly. I wasn't usually a cuddly person, but I could tell Wil needed it. 

We sat down on the sofa as Phil started to cook dinner, and he told us that Tommy and Tubbo would be starting school at the start of term, which was in a week. They both seemed nervous but excited, and started questioning me and Wil on what it was like. We all laughed at Tommy's squawked protests and Tubbo's exclamations, as they found out that we had to wear a uniform. I smiled, it might be taking a while, but slowly, we were reaching stability, and I knew we were gonna be ok. Eventually. 

Haha I spent like all night writing this lol. Anywaysssss hope you liked it. Writing it was not made any easier by the fact that I have the duck song stuck in my head. 

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man, running the stand

HEY

bam bam bam

GOT ANY GRAPES?

Its such a brilliant song... but it does not make writing easier. Take it from me. and I hopefully just got it stuck in your head too. Sorry about that. 

Anyways hope you enjoyed!

Stay safe, stay happy, stay healthy, stay kind!

Word count: 1179