3. Zayne

220 13 12
                                    

December 11, 2021

I needa smoke a blunt.

I been up all night yet again 'cause I can't sleep. The hotel sheets are too foreign for me to get any rest on and when I sit for too long, my mind gets to wanderin' too far into the past, even though it was less than a week ago.

I shoulda had that nigga I got for his car pick me up some tree before I ran off with his shit but oh well. I reach for my phone off the nightstand and get on Google as Playboi comes to mind.

I bite my lip while I read about him and his successful NFL career. He plays' for the Arizona Cardinals now though, I noted and kept scrolling.

Playboi got the kinda money I need to disappear off the map until heat dies down. When I see he recently got engaged, an idea comes to mind.

Puttin' my phone to the side, I get up and throw my shit back into the small duffel bag. I look around the hotel one more time and make sure not to leave a trace of me behind.

I need help disappearin' and Playboi gon' be the one to make that happen.

****

Arizona is a 14 hour drive and I been drivin' for 10 straight. I'm tired as a bitch but I can't stop yet, not til I cross Arizona state lines.

When I glance in the rear view mirror and see Ari, Rozay and Lori's ghosts, I rub my eyes and then train 'em straight ahead.

I'm most definitely runnin' from the past, leavin' a messy trail of fire and bodies behind me as I do so. But iono what else to do.

I ain't never been to Arizona before but I know it's hot as hell.

This the first time in my life that I'm truly alone and honestly, I ain't fuckin' with it. My thoughts are louder than the constant beat of my broken heart.

Even that bitch don't beat the same.

And despite the GPS guidin' me across state lines, I feel lost as fuck. I need my babies back but I know that ain't never gon' happen.

4 hours pass quickly 'cause I'm so lost in my head. Before I know it, I'm pullin' into a hotel just off the highway 'cause I need to stretch and see about my next move now that I'm in the same state as Playboi.

I never thought I would be chasin' this nigga down once I was done with him all those years ago. I thought he was the past but in reality, this nigga finna be my whole future, fiancé or no fiancé.

I get a room and I'm in the shower in five minutes flat.

All my worries, stress and tears fall down the drain and ion do nothin' to stop it. I cry for Ari. I cry for Rozay. And I cry for Lori.

All three of my best friends, gone.

After an hour, I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my body. My stomach growls and reminds me, it's been a minute since I ate anything. So after I get dressed, I lay on the bed and order room service.

It's so easy gettin' lost in my thoughts when I'm alone. I remember when me, Ari and Rozay spent Valentine's Day in a hotel like this one, that day was so fuckin' perfect.

I think that was one of the best nights of my life.

Everything was perfect back then. I had the two loves of my life, my best friend was still alive, and I wasn't down bad.

Now though, everything is different.

After my food arrives, I lay back on the bed and turn the TV on. I'm halfway expectin' to see my face all over the news. When I don't, I pull out the brand new iPhone I bought earlier and unlock it.

I ain't got no contacts in it but I like it that way. With no contacts, that means I ain't got no text threads to fall back on so all the previous conversations with my loves are gone in the wind with the phone I tossed out days ago.

I get on Google as I stab the steak in front of me and type in 'Arizona Cardinals'. Right away, Playboi's name and picture pops up so I click on the first link.

By the time I'm finished eatin', I learn where Playboi's team plays, which is in Glendale, a few hours away from where I'm at now but that ain't a problem. Since it's December, I thought football season would be over but apparently his team is in the playoffs and they're doing really good this year.

I bite my lip and keep readin' article after article. Yeahhh, I need to get my hands on Playboi again.

He's finna be my ticket out of my situation, even if he don't know it yet.

...

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