45. Playboi

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January 24, 2022

The surgery to remove the bullet from my shoulder was a success.

I'm ready to be released so I can get back to Zayne and Sahara as soon as I can.

"How you feelin'?" Mama asks from the the side of the hospital bed before she sits back down.

A faint ache in my shoulder fades into the background as I sit with my back straight. I find a strange peace in the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor not too far from me.

Mama dukes sits beside my hospital bed, her knitting abandoned as she holds my gaze. She's been knitting since me and Tray were kids.

"Mom," I begin to say, my voice barely above a whisper. The words feeling heavy in my mouth.

"Do you think I'll be able to play again? After all this?"

That's one question I've been asking myself over and over since waking up from surgery.

She smiles softly, the lines around her eyes deepening with a mix of hope and worry, making me nervous.

"Honey, if anyone can make a comeback, it's you. You've got more determination in your little finger than most people have in their whole body."

I attempt to laugh, but it morphs into a grimace as a sudden, sharp pain hits my chest. Panic flashes in mama's eyes, mirroring the fear that claws its way into my consciousness.

"Mom," I gasp, the pain squeezing tighter around my chest with every breath I take. "Something's...wrong. I can't...breathe."

Her calm facade shatters as she springs into action, pressing the call button frantically.

"Help! We need help in here!" she cries out, her voice a mix of command and desperation.

Turning back to me, she takes my hand, squeezing it as if to transfer her life's strength into me.

"Hold on, baby. Just hold on. Help is coming."

I try to nod, to show her I hear her, but the room is spinning and my vision is tunneling. Everything is happening so fast, all I can do is blink my eyes.

"I'm scared, Mom. It hurts so bad."

She brushes a trembling hand across my forehead, tears streaming down her cheeks as nurses scramble in the room.

"You're not alone, I'm right here."

Her words become a distant echo as darkness creeps in. The pain is so intense, it threatens to swallow me whole. In that moment, suspended between agony and darkness, I find a shred of comfort in her presence. She's always been a lifeline for me, especially growing up with Tray, Roc and Breena.

Mama dukes always been the rock of the family.

"I love you, Mom," I manage to spit out, the words barely audible as I give into to the darkness. The pain finally letting up as I slip away, leaving behind the sound of mama's voice and all the commotion of machines, doctors and nurses.

And then, there was peace.




















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