𝗥𝗲𝗱 | JJk ✔️

58| Fire & Dove

Never in my life have I hated myself more.

I've been so confident, so proud of my plan that I dismissed the way Y/N felt about me. Dismissed the way she looked at me like I was no different than Junghyun the villain himself.

It fazed me with so much rage because I wanted her so bad and she didn't.

And it pains me to think I won't ever earn another chance to show her truly how much I cared for her. To demonstrate how profoundly she mattered to me. How every detail about her I adored and cherished and replayed in my head like a favorite film.

Yet here I was, watching Yeontan take a bullet for her.

A freaking dog has a better game than me.

A dog who saved her life in a way I wasn't even close enough to.

I couldn't imagine the same scenario without Yeontan. What are the odds of Yeontan not existing? What are the odds of Yeontan not jumping in time? Not jumping high enough?

The thought made my heart rot and decay. I didn't deserve her one bit.

There's a blur of voices yelling Yeontan's name but all I could think of was Y/N. All I could see was Y/N.

The guilt was a tumor in my chest and I felt it grow when Y/N knelt next to Yeontan's body before pressing her shaky hands against his wound, subduing the blood from gushing out. "Oh my god."

Her voice was battered in shock, grief, and pain. My heart beats frantically like a small birds fluttering wings. What have I done?

"Damn it," Taeyhung shoves Y/N to the side, grabbing Yeontan in his arms, "No. No. No. Tannie. My baby. Don't you die on me, you little rascal. Don't you dare-"

His voice breaks, crumbles, shatters like a hammered sandstone. He laments Yeontan's name with so much morn and devastation it's the only voice the world hears. A sound so painful, even Yoongi has tears in his eyes.

Taehyung cradles the suffering dog in his arms, unwilling to bare the sound of its briefly beating heart.

Yeontan's tail twitches, his doe black eyes weakly glossing up at Taehyung. He kisses the dog's nose, kisses his mouth, his fury little ears.

"It's okay, Tannie. I'm here. Daddy's here. You'll be okay. It's your birthday tomorrow, isn't it? We have to take you to that park tomorrow. And then--and then you'll see your friend Dolly--that white Pomeranian that you love so much. Just---Just breathe for me okay? Please, Tannie."

Yeontan's tongue pokes out and he's suddenly breathing harder, his eyes shutting and opening weakly. The sweetness in Taehyung's voice fades and he clenches his dog's fur, feeling the reality of Yeontan's fate rise to the surface. "Please don't go," he mumbles softly.

My heart clenches for the dog. It truly did. But I cared so much about Y/N, I would let this happen again if the outcome was the same. If the outcome was her alive every time then so be it. I was selfish, I know that.

But if I was close enough to take the bullet, I would. Oh hell I would. I would take a bullet for her even if she was holding the damn gun.

I even promised myself I couldn't allow myself to be weak. That the only way to live was to not love anything. Loving something makes you weak. It clouds your judgment. It gives others something to take away from you.

With Y/N, though, the rules don't apply.

Taehyung's still in shock, but Yoongi convinces him to leave the room with him to take Yeontan to the emergency vet. Hope is dangerous. But hope is possibility. A 50/50.