"Lost in Love"

Chapter 40: "A Father's Confession"

(Jimin)

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I don't know what I was more interested about: Finding out about my mother's lover or finding my lover's body-toy. Hmmmmm... My Jungkookie was the most delicious man I had ever tasted. Actually he was the only man I ever tasted! Ha! And it would remain that way, thank God. He was yearning for me and I gave him everything and more than we ever expected from each other. We're in love and this virtue of love being kind, patient and rejoicing in the truth was definitely entwined in our hearts. God knows that Jungkook was definitely patient with me and we always showed kindness to each other. Throughout our years of being together, we worked on truth that included having trust and faith in each other.

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I wondered if my mother ever felt that way for my father. Was she being kind, patient and truthful with him? By having an affair with her Jane, she would've had to keep their love a secret. My dad never spoke of this before even when he explained to me about my physical condition. Then I wondered if he knew about her 'duality' as he knew about mine. My double life or 'duality' as I like to refer to it now was such a hindrance before but now I was beginning to accept being able to identify as two persons in one body. What I thought was a condemnation in my life I was now seeing it as a blessing. In my decision to remain a boy I thought I would've found a girl and get married to her but then along came Jeon Jungkook and I was hooked, literally. Ha! I think I'm on a roll here. Lol... (Ba-dum Ching!)

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My decision to keep the female part of me was going to help us raise our family and I couldn't wait but in light of the turmoil we had gone through with Tae and Travis, we decided to push back my surgery. I was worried at first as I was anxious to do it but whenever I looked at Jungkook's face I realised he was happy no matter who I was: Male or female. So making a family would have to wait. Our wedding would also have to wait as Jungkook and I were now on our way to South Korea to find Jane's Korean family. We did some digging and found that her family came from a poor countryside area in Jeju Island. Jungkook and I made the trip after we had a talk with my dad. I was in two minds whether to talk with him about it but Jungkook told me it would be the best thing to do.

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"We can't keep him in the dark about what happened and I'm sure it will answer questions he might've had from his past." My Jungkookie was so right but also so wrong. Wow! My dad shocked us when we went to talk with him.

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A few days before our trip, Jungkook and I went to visit my dad so we could have that father-son talk. Jungkook left us alone as he and my step-mom, Sangi went into the kitchen to cook up a storm for us. I took the envelope with me as we sat in his study.

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"Ahem, dad I came to talk with you concerning mom." I was actually nervous and I was fiddling with the piece of paper in my hand.

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My dad looked down at my lap and asked, "Is that your letter from her?" I nodded and looked at him. When my tears began to fall, he took me into his arms. "It's okay, Min-Min. It's okay. If it's too difficult for you, you don't have to tell me..." But I wiped my tears as I interjected.

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"It is difficult but not just for me." Now it was his turn to interject.

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"Did she tell you about Jane?"

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I opened my eyes big, "Which Jane?" Well from the time I said that and I saw his smile, I knew that he knew about my mom's lover.