Just Too Different Season Two

Ryan Pov

Ryan Pov
So today we are going for breakfast before heading to the aquarium. The kids enjoyed the island yesterday. August was asking me questions as to why I didn't wear a swimsuit. I didn't tell him the real reasons which were me being out of shape every since Ava AND I still have a couple of bruises from Jay.

I was looking out the glass window at the city and having a cup of coffee when Jermaine and Jersey came up beside me.

Jersey- GoodMorning auntie Ryan.

Jermaine- Morning Ry.

Me- Morning babies. How did you guys sleep?

Jersey- Good. Look at my hair. *Giggles*

I chuckled at her. It was every where.

Me- You still look like a princess.

I rubbed her cheek and she blushed.

Me- Are y'all having fun?

Jermaine- Yup.

Me- Have y'all talk to your mom?

Jersey- Yep! She called Jermaine.

Me- That's good... I bet she misses y'all so much.

They smiled. I continued to look out the window. I was thinking about all the bad things I've had happen to me this past year. Including Jay, that will forever scar me.

Jermaine- Auntie Ryan?

Me-Hm?

Jermaine- You ok? You're shaking..

I looked down at my arms. I didn't even realize that.

Me-*Clears throat* Of course....Yea, of course. I'm ok. Let's get ready for breakfast.

I went and sat my cup in the sink and then I went to Me and Aug's room. He was already dressed and now he was getting Ava ready. I walked straight in the bathroom. I took a shower and then got out. I put on a gold and black dress with some gold heels. I did my makeup and flat iron my hair. When I walked out everyone was in the living room.

Kay- GoodMorning mama.

I smiled a little.

Me- Morning kaykay.

She gave me a hug.

Mya- Hey Ry.

Me- Hey babe.

I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Chay- Morning RyRy. *Smiles*

Me- Morning ChayChay.

I rubbed her hair.

Aug- Ready?

Them- Yup.

The kids walked out the door while me and August followed behind. He was holding Ava and kissing her cheek. She smiled at him. We didn't really talk. He did hold the door as I walked out the hotel lobby. I kept my head down as I walked thru all the paparazzi. We all got in a truck and it took us to this fancy breakfast bar. We got out and sat outside. Jermaine sat beside me. He said he wanted to sit by his TT today.

At breakfast August handed me Ava so I can feed her. Other then that we really didn't talk. I guess he could tell I wasn't in the talking mood. The kids on the other hand, talked up a storm.

After breakfast we went to the aquarium. I kind of wondered off in my own little world. I just need to be alone right now. I was standing in front of the big glass looking at different type of fish. I was just thinking until somebody came up beside me.

Aug- What's wrong.

He never did turn my way. He just looked at the fishes too.

Me- Nothing.

Aug- I kno when sum is up.... Be straight with me.

Me-..........Sometimes........ I feel like I have no purpose.... No purpose at all by being on this earth.. I've been through so much... From being jump, sexual assault, car accidents, miscarriage, abused... On top of that judgement that I have to take from the world everyday...... I'm tired..

I felt the tears coming up.

Me- I'm tired...... I'm lost. I can't handle this anymore.... I'm giving up. I've been strong forever but why?! People throw stuff on me like I can handle it but I'm human.. *Cries* I'm human and I can't take it anymore. I've lost everything. My pride, my self confidence,....... My baby................................My family................ I'm done....... *Whispers*...... I'm done.

I looked over at August slowly. My eyes were red.

Me- *Whispers* This trip...was suppose to help me.... But it didn't....... There's no coming back from this......I'm done......... I'm alive....but I'm dead.

Aug- Don sey dat. We can work thru dis tagatha.. I told ya I had ya.

I shook my head as more tears came. I turned and looked at the kids whom was all up in the glass. Chay was holding Ava and pointed at different fishes.

Me- August... You're an amazing father... Please continue to be that........... I just need to go.

I looked over at him. He looked worried. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before walking away. I just need space to get my mind right because I'm not in my right head.

I told the driver of the truck to take me to the airport. When I got there I boarded the jet alone. Just me. No bodyguards, no chef. Just me. I'm going back to the A and taking a break.

We weren't in the air for 10 minutes and next thing I know or felt, we were going down.