Ryan's Pov

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Ry Pov
So while August is away it's just me and Ava. I took her a nice bath. I sat in her rocking chair in her room. I fed her a bottle while rocking and reading to her.

Me- Jasmine was really sad because she missed the prince. She cried herself to sleep every night.

I pressed the star button and some yellow lights came on in the book. I continued reading to Ava. I notice the bottle was falling out of her mouth so I looked down. She's sleep.

I picked her up and placed her in her crib. I covered her up some. I gave her a kissy before turning on her night light.

Me- Sweet dreams baby.

I made sure her baby monitor was on before leaving out her room. I cracked the door.

I made my way downstairs. I fixed myself a glass of water before going to the living room. I went through some CDs and found one of when Ava was first born. I popped it in and sat down to watch it.

I smiled when I saw me and Ava. My eyes started to get watery. I watched it until the end. I should really have this edited..... I think the world should see this. Kind of like a documentary.

I got up and dried my tears. I poured out the rest of my water in the sink. I made sure everything was turned off downstairs before walking upstairs to August and I's room. I laid under the covers and hugged August's pillow. I soon fell asleep. Around 2 a.m. I heard Ava crying. I got up and slipped on my slippers. I walked in her room and turned on the light.

Me- *Yawns* Babe. What's wrong.

I picked her up. She's probably wet. I did fed her before she went to bed.

I changed Ava and rocked her back to sleep. I laid her back down and walked back to my room. I laid down again. I couldn't sleep. I was just laying there. My mind was too busy on the miscarriage(s).

Around 6 I just got up. I walked downstairs and made me some coffee. I sat down on the couch and watched "Good Morning America". I was the main topic. I just sat there and watched. I noticed people started calling me by my middle name. Maybe because it's sounds pretty cool and way better then Ryan.

I notice them talking about that miscarriages are normal..... I should just speak about it.... I think I'm ready too.... This is a load on me. I can't cry myself to sleep every night..everyday. I can't. I have a life and love ones that need me.

At 8 I went to check on Ava. She was up.

Me- Hey muffin. *Smiles*

She smiled.

Me- Lets get you some breakfast.

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