Ryan's Pov

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Ry Pov
...............I'm back in Atlanta. The tour is on a hold right now. I've finished up all my United States shows. I'm just holding the United Kingdom shows right now...... A day or two after I told August I was pregnant.. I uh....... I had miscarriage #2. The doctor told me my body is in no shape to carry a baby right now since I'm technically "Rebooting" from the coma. He told me I'm honestly in no shape to do anything.....Of course that hurt me to the core. That's what I was afraid of the whole time!

I've been in Atlanta for two days. I haven't seen light at all. August hates seeing me like this.. He absolutely hates it. He has been doing everything in his power to cheer me up. Like I told him..... I can't handle other miscarriage. I can't.

The girls are staying with my mom for right now. August's trying to give me a break. My mom knows about it of course so does Rittany and Riley. They cried with me when I told them yesterday....... Riley can relate... She was pregnant at 18 but she lost hers too. She never got pregnant again. It was too much for her. And it's too much for me too.

August had some arons to run so I was home alone. He was very hesitant about leaving me alone. I made him leave. Right now I'm downstairs in the studio..... I'm writing a song. The saddest song I probably will ever write. I wrote it and recorded a little piece of it.

I took a break and walked back upstairs. August was in the kitchen.

Aug- Hey..

He had he's shades on.

Aug- Ya ok.?

When people ask am I ok then I'm not ok!

I shook my head "No".

Aug- When are ya gone talk ta me?

My lips started to quiver and I hide my face in my arm. I felt August pull me into a hug.

Aug- .... I lost a babey ta Ryan.. We lost ta.. I'm tryin ta hold myself tagetha fa ya sake..

August voice started to crack. I looked up at him.

Aug-*Cries* I g-gotta go.

August grabbed his keys. I tried to grab his arm but he didn't let me touch him. He needs to be alone for awhile. I can understand. We're both hurt. All my fault, I caused him pain. If I would just not get pregnant then we wouldn't be having this problem!

I walked to the couch and turned on the tv.

Tmz- Ryan Beyoncé Woods, Beyoncé as she's most known as, has reportedly lost her baby. Not her 1 year old daughter, Ava. A baby that we didn't know about.

A picture popped up. It was me. I turned the tv off. Everywhere I go... All I hear...

I walked back downstairs. I sat in the roller chair and cried as I listened to the song. After I had enough I shut the studio down and made my way back upstairs. I all of a sudden lashed out. I grabbed a knife and held it tight in my hands. I cried hard. Why me? What have I've ever done to deserve this?! I glanced at the knife. I was leaning over the sink letting my tears drip.

All of sudden I felt someone grab my arm. I quickly turned around with the knife.

Aug- It's jus me, it's jus me!

I looked him deep in the eyes.

Aug-*Whispers* Jus me.

He grabbed the knife as I slowly fell to the ground. He came down with me and held me in he's arms. I cried in his chest. When I calmed down I just laid there listening to HIS heartbeat. He was still holding me tight.

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