The Swan Has Horns

55

He could remember holding the bag of snacks Cora had prepared before he had gotten on the plane. The nervousness eating away at him as he took off the live with people he had only talked to over the phone, his parents' angry voices fading in the background as he plugged in his earphones that were gifted to him by his Aunt Sue as a departing gift. He'll miss them all, Uncle Billy, Harry, his Aunt Sarah, Sue, and the three girls he thought of as sisters, Rachel, Rebecca, and Leah. It killed him the most to leave Leah, the bright eyed girl that cried unending tears when he made his decision after a week of thinking.

He hated to leave her, to leave them, but he couldn't stay there anymore. The shouting was too much for him, a bit unnerving since it never stopped there, and for his own sake he couldn't stay. He wanted a life away from that, and he meant one with new possibilities, and a stable environment. He could see the stress showcase itself through his grades, and games, he could hear the words of encouragement that his grandparents sprouted whenever the married couple downstairs would get a little too loud.

It truly was a shame that he had left though, he would miss his sweet father that would come and sit at the edge of his bed after every fight, apology after apology for being so loud, and uncaring of his feelings. He would miss his mother who would read him bedtime stories with the small sniffles that followed after an intense shouting match that left a plate shattered in a random corner of the room. He'll miss it, but he wouldn't dare go back to it.

Cutting his hands on the broken plates, pretending to be asleep whenever his father vented about his mother, and pathetic acting he had to play whenever he heard his mother sniffling to avoid her throwing a fit about how everything wasn't what it seemed, and how fine she was despite the obvious tears that painted her cheek, and swelling of the eyes from the constant rubbing. He wouldn't go back to not a single bit of it, and he surely won't regret leaving.

His departure was filled with tears, and blame. The loud cries of his baby sister, his overly silent father that had long since given up trying to convince him to change his mind, and the cold shoulder of his mother that was far too deep in her own head to see how she had missed the hug her son wanted to give her before he left. They both would soon go right back to arguing, his poor sister only being left behind because his grandparents were far too old to care for a baby, and his mother held onto her like a lifeline to improve her own mood.

"Bye, Momma, bye Dad." He had waved one last time at them, but the only one that noticed was Bella who was far too young to understand why he was waving. His parents, Charlie and Renee were back at it again, noticing the eyes that glared back at them for causing such a commotion in public, or the tears of their son who had fled away from the scene. His legs moved faster with every shout of his parents, before soon sprinting after the cries of sister were finally heard.

He would miss his family and friends, but he wouldn't dare go back to it right now. He didn't want to tend to his cuts that were made from picking up broken plates that his mother had thrown at his father. He didn't want to hold a crying Bella in his arms that had been awoken from all the late night shouting his parents did, he didn't want to argue with his father about why he was called about him sleeping class from the lack of sleep, or complain to his mom about how he wasn't interested in the sports he used to like anymore. He didn't didn't want to go back, he didn't want to stay, he knew that Rebecca and Rachel understood, but little Leah was too young to see just how bad it really was when he wasn't spending the night at the Blacks. He could remember the soft kisses Sarah had given him when he cried about his low test grade, the taste of lavender tea that Sue would make to calm his nerves, or even the walk through the woods Billy used to take him on whenever everything seemed to become far too much for his little mind to comprehend.

"You're a smart boy Antonio, don't worry about us forks down here in the reservation, we take good care of each other, think about what you think is best for yourself." He remembered the light ruffling of his hair that Billy had done when Antonio had cried about Leah not speaking to him anymore. He felt horrible to see the small girl shout and run away from him after saying he might leave, "Leah's a smart girl, she might not like it now, but she'll understand when she's older and has her own problems to deal with."

Billy had taken him on an extra long walk in the woods, showing him fox holes, bears caring for their cubs, and even a nice little pond that held tiny little fishes. He had felt like a boulder was being lifted off his tiny shoulders, and the small hugs and pecks on the forehead that he got in front of the twin girls was enough to put a smile on his face and see his future with clearer eyes. He didn't want to be like his father, he didn't want to stay in one spot that would make his wife unhappy, didn't want to subject his child to arguing, and anger every hour of the day, and he didn't want to get home to broken plates, loud screams of their baby.

He didn't want that for himself, and he didn't want that for anybody else around him. He wish that his parents would just get along, but he was mature enough to know that not everyone could be happy with what they had, some want more, somewhat less, and right now what his parents needed was space...he didn't want to be like that one child that was taken away by his mother after his parents divorce never to be seen again. He wanted to have his own choice in where he went, and with who, and that's why he decided to leave for his grandparents. He knew how his mother was, the little gifts she would leave when she thought he might've been upset about something he had overheard, or even his father that tried his best to bond with him whenever he noticed him residing a little too deep into his room after school. They would want him to choose between his own mother or father, causing a bigger drift in between them for the sake of their selfishness knowing he loved them both just as much and couldn't bear to be away from either. They knew this, but would they care?

They didn't care when he was packing his bags, saying goodbye to everyone that visited him that night before, nor did they care when he attempted to get them to see one last time before leaving. The only thing focused on their mind was blaming who was at fault for all of this. For their unhappiness. He had long left before they noticed, his plane leaving, and their minds wondering where their baby boy had gone.

"Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A bit of Antonio's past before he left to his grandparents house. Also that last sentence came from a poem created by my favorite poet Edgar Allen Poe.