He Had To Be An Alpha?

CHAPTER 44

*Alex's POV*

A numb feeling takes over me in the absence of emotion. Heart ripped apart and distributed like bread.

I stare vacantly in front of me, trying to recall what it felt like to care about.....to care about anything.

"Yay!" Xander exclaims dropping my hand, and it falls limp to my side, healed now. "A game of control it is then!" Xander jumps up and down giddily.

Everyone looks confused as to what that means, but a shiver of discomfort runs down my spine.

"Holden! Jared!" Xander barks, "get the props!"

Holden picks Jared's limp body up off the floor, and he regains consciousness.

"Hurry up!" Xander says savagely. "Our friend is waiting." He runs a clawed finger down my cheek gingerly and I stay still.

Should I be scared?

Should I move?

Why? It doesn't feel scary.

But then again, I can't remember what it feels like to be scared so who knows.

Jared and Holden retreat into the woods, all the while Xander is squealing like a school girl.

He suddenly starts laughing, and then turns back to me, tears in his jade eyes.

Why is he crying?

Am I supposed to be sad?

"I missed you so much, my Spirit made of Steel," he says, folding me in his arms.

I stand limp as he drips tears on my jacket.

Miss?

What does that feel like?

Why is everyone looking at me like that?

Everyone is looking at me in terror. Like I was a monster.

Hm. Must be because I don't have a heart to feel with anymore.

Xander holds me at arms length, looking at me with his jade eyes, and suddenly bursts out laughing loudly.

What's so funny?

"Don't touch me." I say, shoving him back, but it wasn't with anger or revulsion. It was just that-a shove.

"Alright, alright. I'm just happy to have my friend back, I thought you were gone for a while there," Xander says, wiping a tear from his eye.

Jared and Holden come out of the woods with a pole suspended on their shoulders and chains in their arm.

The people gasp around us, staring in horror.

What did they expect?

Did they expect him to bust out a kid friendly game of Chutes and Ladders?

Oh well it's nothing I haven't been through before so who cares. Just doing it again for these nincompoops........but why?

Why should I care?

Why should I have to endure torture for their selfish hides?

They obviously don't care about me.

All of the hurtful words they ever said to me come back. They don't even pierce me. I don't have a heart to pierce.

I can't bring myself to feel anything.

I look around at them. When did I ever really care about them?

What did it feel like?

I look at Chad and observe him.