kingsley

chapter 31

"are you hungry?" i ask her as we leave the mall. i get no answer so i look over at her and try to grab her hand but she pushes my hand away. "don't be a brat sweetheart, i can promise you won't like where it gets you."

she again doesn't answer and instead pulls out her phone. i sigh and was beginning to get irritated with her behavior. it was childish to play the silent game and be upset over me simply not telling her how much something cost. it's not like we share a bank account. it was even more childish to get upset over me not wanting her to buy me something.

"kingsley may, i am being serious. quit ignoring me, it's childish and pissing me off." i tell her but she shrugs so i grab her phone to get her attention.

"colton." she says glaring at me.

"you're being childish and it's annoying. talk to me because no communication isn't gonna fix shit." i tell her.

"give me back my phone." she says.

"what the fuck? i'm trying to talk to you and you just want your phone." i say. i didn't know why she was acting like this but it hurts and i hate it.

"oh so now you wanna talk to me? not while we were shopping or when i was trying to buy you stuff." she says.

"you were ignoring me." i argue back.

"no i wasn't you just weren't talking. when you would you were rude, telling me no when i offered to get you the hoodie you were looking at. you can buy me expensive fucking flowers but it's a problem when i try to get you anything. it's always a fight when i try to buy you stuff. i fucking hate the double standards you have set." she yells at me.

i drive with one hand and run my fingers through my hair with my other hand. i don't say anything back because if i did we would be in a whole argument and i didn't want that while i was driving.

other than the radio it's silent the whole way to my apartment. when i pull into a parking spot i hear her sniffle and when i look at her she's quickly wiping her face.

"baby." i mumble but she gets out of the car. i quickly follow her and grab her arm but she shoves me away. "please, let's talk about this."

"i don't want to, this is an every time thing colton. i just want to go home." she says and i watch the tears roll down her face. my chest feels heavy as i look at her. i'm the reason for her tears and her being upset all the time.

"i'm sorry." i say but she shakes her head. "please just listen to me. i didn't know it bothered you, i don't want double standards and i didn't realize this is one. i'm sorry kingsley, i'm so sorry. i don't want you crying, princess. i fucked up and i know that but i'll fix it. i love you and i want to be good for you. i'm trying so hard i promise i am."

"this has happened before. every time i buy you something or try to you get mad. you buy me stuff all the time but when i do it's a problem. the way you told me no at the mall was rude and not needed. you didn't even realize anything was wrong and that's another problem." she points out and i nod listening to everything she's saying.

"i'm sorry." i say again and bite the inside of my lip. i wanted to hold her and make everything better but i didn't want her pushing me away again. to stop myself from reaching for her i begin picking at my skin to keep my hands busy.

"colt." she mumbles and grabs my hands. she looks at them and then kisses where i was just picking at. i stay quiet watching her. i didn't know what to do. "you're gonna make yourself bleed."

"i'm sorry." i say again this time for my skin and not for being mean to her. all i could do was apologize right now. i couldn't take back what i said or how i said it. all i could do was not do it again and realize my mistake.

"are you anxious right now?" she asks me placing her hand on my cheek. i slightly nod and then shrug. i hate arguing with her especially if she starts crying. my chest hurts when she cries and then i feel overwhelmed. then i start stressing and i feel like crying.

"you're crying." i mumble and she grabs my hands pulling me in the direction of my apartment. we leave the parking lot and go up to my apartment. i grab our phones from my pocket and hand her back hers and unlock the door from mine.

i'm an asshole i had no right to take her phone.

"i'm sorry for taking your phone." i say when we enter my apartment.

"are you okay?" she asks me.

"i hurt your feelings, made you cry, took your phone, was a complete asshole and you're asking me if i'm okay?" i ask her.

"i'm not worried about that right now. you were picking at your skin again. you were doing so good not to when you got anxious." she says.

"my anxiety doesn't just end the argument we were having. i fucked up kingsley. yes i feel anxious because we're arguing but my anxiety isn't your problem to manage." i tell her.

"don't act like that, if roles were reversed you would be worried too. you're aware of the problem now and i know you'll do better so the arguments over. don't invalidate your feelings." she scolds me and i sigh.

"can i have a kiss?" i ask and she nods. i lean down and she places her hand on my cheek kissing me delicately. her arm goes around my neck and my hands go to her waist to pull her closer to me. i move my lips against hers and she sighs into my mouth holding me tighter.

"i love you." she tells me. i rest my forehead against hers and smile.

"i love you. i'll do better i'm so sorry sweetheart." i apologize again and she shakes her head.

"stop, we're passed it okay?" she asks and i nod. "good, i'll be right back i need to go get water for my flowers."

"i got it." i say and go to the front door. i leave and go out to my car. i grab her purse and flowers taking them back up to my apartment.