Waves (Twilight)

Chapter 41

Needless to say this was one of the most awkward car rides I've had. There was so much i wanted to say but i just honestly didn't know how to say it or where even to start. I sigh and look out the window, playing with my hands. He thankfully has music playing softly in the background, so it wasn't to quiet. It so stupid because I've had so much i wanted tell him at the bonfire but now I'm just to nervous to even get anything out. I look over at him in the corner of my eye and bite my lip. Come on, just say it.

"So i um." I start and clear my throat. I see him look at me slightly. Scared i turn my head straight to look out the front window. "I just want to say that I'm sorry with how i acted earlier. It was stupid of me to just ignore you." I say while looking over at him. He breathes out softly and nods. Just nods. I shake my head and turn away. Am i this hard to talk to when I'm mad? Figuring that i didn't know when i would get another chance to talk to him, i decide to continue anyways.

"I think, actually i know that i was to much in my head. Bella and i were having a conversation yesterday and i." I stop myself and look down. Is it even worth telling him my fears, my insecurities. "I guess i got scared about to many things." I say quietly. Him still being a brick wall doesn't encourage me to talk anymore so i just turn my head and look around. Maybe he still needs time to cool off. Maybe i just imagined him holding my hand and smiling at me. Gosh here i go again. I shake my head and lean my chin on my hand.

"What things?" I hear him say softly, like he didn't even want me to hear it. But i did. Part of me actually wanted to pretend like i didn't hear him so i wouldn't have to explain but i didn't want to leave like this.

"About us." I say back just as softly. I hear him take a deep breath in as the car jerks to a stop. I place my hands on the dash to hold myself up. I look over at him only to see him looking at me with wide eyes. "Are you okay?" I shout in shock and look around. Did something run out in front of us? Or was it because of what i said?

"What about us?" He asks me sounding worried. I look at him and bite my lip. Not knowing weather or not to tell him, ask him? About the imprinting thing, i just sigh. "What about us Bec?" He asks again, softly. Not able to hold off any longer i just blurt it out.

"Bella asked me about you the other day and why i didn't tell her about you and me and about how you imprinted on me and why i was keeping her out of the loop and me being confused i sat there confused, to which she told me all about this imprinting and what it was and i don't know i was excited at first and then i sat there just thinking about how it alters your feeling and how you may only like me because of it and how i stupid i felt for all my stupid human feelings i had for you and like i get it you feel bad but i don't want you just hanging out with me because of it, like how do you think that makes me feel and-"

"Becca!" Paul shouts snapping me out of my thoughts and making me shut my mouth. I sit there wide eyed at him and try to catch my breath. I really just did that? I really just spilled everything out. I am so stupid. I close my eyes tightly and shake my head.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know why i just said all that." I turn and face forward and look straight. 

"How did you..How did Bella find out? About the imprinting thing?" I never seen Paul with this many emotions. 

"Um she said she figured it out after seeing us hang out. Jake apparently told her about imprinting a while ago. She put it together , i guess." I tell him while playing with my hands

"Figures." He says while shaking his head angrily. " Look i was planning on telling you soon and then i kept getting nervous and talked myself out of it, so I'm sorry about that. I wish you would have just talked to me after she told you instead of just ignoring me but i understand now" He says causing me to look over at him.