Ch. 24 Calming Technique

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Sunstreaker’s P.O.V.
Drift believes we’ll be going out to breakfast this morning. He knows how to deal with situations like this, but I feel like we’re going too fast. Risking a major setback. I could say yesterday morning’s panic attack was proof we’re working too fast, but then what Lily did during the movie...
“Lily! Get back here!” Sideswipe yells just before Lily runs into me. We both go down to the floor.
“I... uh...,” Lily freezes.
Scrap, there goes the day.
“Missed me?” I tease, trying to get her to relax on me, “I will not hurt you,” I’m trying to get her to relax and listen to my heartbeat that mimics my spark, “there you go.”

Everything is quiet for a while until Ironhide picks up Lily.
“What the frag are you trying to do?!” He scolds.
“I was just trying to be nice!”
“You are a psychopath serial killer! You can’t be nice.”
I sit up, seeing Ironhide set Lily down by Drift before walking away. She heard what he said.
“Come on, before it’s lunchtime,” Crosshairs says as he helps me up.

I hoped Lily would want to ride with me, but she rushes to Drift’s alt mode. I decide to go with Crosshairs, Sideswipe takes his alt mode,  and Lightning chose not to come.
“She’s doing better than we thought,”
Crosshairs assures me as we drive through the city, “I just wish we knew how much the nanobots influence her. There’s the concern that once they deactivate, Drift is trying to figure out a plan if the nanobots are heavily influencing her.”
“Why are you two even helping me?”
“Because you have shown you are serious about this. We know you’d find a way to get home if there’s no way to open a ground bridge directly on Cybertron. You’re too used to not showing you care about anyone, and with how terrified Lily was of you; you need help. I admit we don’t think you’ll completely change, but you are trying.”

We’re already dealing with a possible issue as we’re seated at a table with two chairs on both sides and no room to move chairs around. Even with this setup, Drift has Lily sit next to me. Lily regrets not bringing her tablet. This gives me an idea, but I might have to wait a few weeks to try this.
We all ordered the same thing; pancakes and bacon with an order of extra bacon. Crosshairs and I get coffee while Drift and Lily get tea.

Even with the plate of bacon, Lily steals from my plate.
“Hey, there’s a whole plate here,” I point out as Lily smiles and eats the bacon she stole, “fine, then I’m taking this.”
I take a strip of bacon from her plate. I know this looks silly, but this is good. Lily is playful toward me.

“What do you think about taking her to my art room alone?” I ask Drift as we wait for Lily to return from the bathroom.
“It’s hard to know,” Drift regrets, “I’d rather try partial alone with her. She thinks you two are alone, but we’re nearby in the hallway.”
“I think we could try that. Start a project with her, but a small one,” Crosshairs adds.
“I just don’t want her to panic like yesterday morning,” I admit, “I know we can’t predict exactly if she’ll be ok or panic,” I sigh.

When we get back to base, I go to my art room to hide the piece I’ve done for Lily. I don’t know when is the right time to show her. Maybe I can tell her how much I love her. I don’t know when to show her if I never get that chance.
“I’m an idiot and scared the one femme who liked me away.”
“Sunstreaker?” I hear Sideswipe as he walks in and closes the door, “Sunny, are you crying?”
“Just leave me alone!”
Sideswipe ignores me and hugs me.

Sideswipe’s P.O.V.
I would love to help Lily talk to Sunstreaker and get him to tell her how he feels about her. I know he’s waiting for the right moment to show Lily the painting and hopes to tell her how he feels. I know it still seems unlikely he’ll get the chance.
After a few minutes, Sunstreaker asks me to leave. He’ll be mad if I tell Drift what happened, and I don’t think we can do anything.

“Sideswipe? Where’s Sunstreaker’s art room?” Lily asks, “I’ve looked everywhere for him. His alt mode is still here, so where else would he be?”
Scrap, I do not know how I’m supposed to reply.
Sunstreaker, Lily wants to know where your art room is, but I’m not sure if I should tell her even if you want her there.
“Hey, how about video games?” I ask.
“After dinner.”
She’s good. I know she finished her schoolwork.
Drift says it’s fine. He and Crosshairs will be in the hallway as planned. I just don’t know... Sunstreaker tells me.
As much as I hope her anxiety is temporary, you need to learn to deal with it.
“Ok, fine, Lily, I’ll tell you where his art room is.”
It’s funny she told me not to follow her.

Sunstreaker’s P.O.V.
Exactly what I worried would happen is happening as I open the door. I’m unsure if Lily is trying to continue even with anxiety or if she’s not thinking ‘run’ while dealing with anxiety. I lead her into the room for privacy.

She sits on the floor by me. I wonder if listening to my heartbeat will help.
Lily doesn’t fight me as I get her to lean on me with a loose hug.
“You’re ok; I will not hurt you.”
Not I good time to tell her how I feel. If she doesn’t feel safe alone with me, she’ll think I will be my obsessive psychopath self.

Once I feel she’s relaxed, I tighten my hug. I notice Drift watching the situation, but he quietly closes the door. I’ll take that as I can see if Lily wants to work on a painting together. A few minutes pass before I ask her if she wants to work on a painting together for a while. Happy she wants to stay with me.

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