Ch. 68 Depression

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Lily's P.O.V.
I'm being discharged t oday. Sunstreaker is talking to Ratchet while Jasmine does all the discharging stuff. I'm distracted, knowing I have only two weeks left with Sunstreaker until, who knows? There's not much we can do since we're both recovering from injury and surgery. However, I'm more restricted than Sunstreaker. I suspect Sunstreaker is talking to Ratchet about what we can do.

Sunstreaker wants to take me to some places in the city. Ratchet approves this, but since we're both still recovering from surgeries, we must be careful.
"We'll stay here today and finish our painting," Sunstreaker explains.
We go to the cafeteria to get breakfast.

I feel mixed emotions hearing Crosshairs, Drift, and Lightning saying they missed Sunstreaker and me. Lightning wouldn't lie, so it's great hearing her say that. I don't think Sunstreaker stopped talking to Drift since the night Sunstreaker rushed me to the medbay. I'm also reminded that the other Autobots avoid me. I won't worry about that now, but it's not something I want to forget about.
Sideswipe misses playing video games with me. I think he's hoping to spend the entire day playing video games.
"Does he know?" I whisper to Sunstreaker.
"No, nor our friends."
"We'll have to tell Sideswipe. The others... I'm hoping Crosshairs and Drift will go back to Jamie. I don't know if Lightning will think it's good I'm told to go home."
"I don't think so."

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
I was focused on thinking there's now less with to be with Lily before she goes to summer camp that I forgot about a serious problem. I'm unsure if Lightning will be happy hearing Lily is going home at the end of the month, and it's uncertain when Lily and I will be back together. Then there's the rest of the Autobots. Even though Crosshairs and Drift told me last meeting that a few others agreed, no one else has bothered to spend time with Lily. It's probably not reason enough to talk to Optimus and Lily's parents. They'd probably say we can deal with the problem after summer vacation.
"Go with Sideswipe," I hear Drift.
I didn't realize I had phased out the conversation. Lily does as Drift tells her. I'm led into the conference room nearby.

I tell the two how I feel while worried they will scold me. I still can't believe how worried I am about scrap like this.
"Are we sure this is Sunstreaker, Drift?" Crosshairs jokes.
"They're both learning about relationships," Drift comments, "but they both have a fear that shouldn't exist. I think this is good for Lily to learn not to ignore her friend. I know this isn't helping you while worried Lily's family, Prime, or Prowl could decide you two can't even be friends. They didn't say you two couldn't stay in contact. I know that's not helping, but we'll help you two if that decision is made."
I don't feel much better, but there's nothing else we can do. We go to the lounge room.

Sideswipe is annoyed he keeps losing races to Lily. While it's four years away, I wonder if these two will have races around the city, or hopefully, they will decide to race at a race track when Lily gets her license.
What are you thinking? Sideswipe asks.
Nothing. I lie.
I'd rather he'd be surprised. Though I think I will be too.

No surprise, Sideswipe played video games for two hours, but I can't believe Lily didn't become bored. Though she tells me, she wants to do art after lunch.

Lily's P.O.V.
We came here to do art but ended up sitting on the floor. Sunstreaker sits on the floor while I sit on his lap, leaning on him as Sunstreaker hugs me.
"I thought we were going to work on our painting?" Sunstreaker asks. With no answer, Sunstreaker has me look at him, "I know this sucks, but I don't want to do nothing for two weeks."
He kisses me before I move off him. He gets a large canvas. I hate knowing this is our last painting for who knows how long. It could be for good.

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
Lily is already feeling depressed, which worries me. There's nothing I can do without the others assuming I'm being possessive.
I doubt they'll listen to Sideswipe. I can only hope she'll be ok, and Drift is right about Lily learning to balance being with her friend and me until she's ready for us to meet.
Sunstreaker? Sideswipe asks through
the bond.
Lily is already depressed. No one will listen to me without arguing I'm being obsessive. I don't think they'll listen to you. I know this is a problem, but ...
I know you love her and worry they're trying to keep you two apart. She does need to learn, though.
I know I don't like how she hasn't contacted her friend in, I think, three months.
It's not that helping Lily and I both worry that they're trying to keep us apart; rather than Lily needs to learn how to balance being with her friend and me. Maybe there's more to the plan than we know, but it's scaring Lily not knowing.
I think Lily's parents should have told her a couple of days before the end of the month. We're not going to be doing much these next two weeks. Even if Lily is sitting on my lap as I sit on a stool, painting; I don't like this. I want her to paint with me.

"Ok, I've done enough," I decide after working on the lines for two hours.
I have a bucket of water to toss the paintbrush in. Close the paint, and carry Lily out of the room to our temporary room.

Lily doesn't care. I'm laying on her bed, with her on me. Her head resting on my chest.
What did you do? Sideswipe asks.
Nothing, I brought Lily back to her room, and she's laying on me.
Ah, that explains everything. I don't know if I'll ever get used to feeling your happy without killing anyone.
Funny, because you're the one who said I should try to be her friend. I love her, Sideswipe.
Then tell her.
I don't know, Sideswipe. She's already afraid she won't be allowed back at the base.
I need to talk to her parents and maybe Optimus, but with my unusual anxiety. I should have known this was too good to be true.

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