Sunstreaker's Charge ✔️

Ch. 28 Few Approve of This

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
I go with Sideswipe to find out how Lily's health exam went. Surprised at how Sideswipe argues, I have permission to know how it went.
"It doesn't work like that, but fine," Ratchet sighs, "she's fine aside from anxiety, which I have her on medication for. Twice a day. Hopefully, it'll be enough at night, and her anxiety will hopefully be a temporary problem."
I know I won't be able to ask if Ratchet knows why Lily is dealing with anxiety. I know it's about me, but I need to know if she's hiding being terrified of me.
"Oh, Ratchet, how likely can you give Lily some of my Energon?" I ask.
"You forget I'd also have to give her some of Sideswipe's, and unless she's dying, absolutely fragging, no! That's three samples of Energon in her, and I do not know if that would still be risky."
"Then figure it out!" I yell and leave the medbay.
I want to be bonded with Lily, but I'm thinking more if she gets hurt or needs my Energon rather than from the supply Ratchet has. I hope Ratchet takes me seriously and will research.

I didn't think I'd find Lily in my art room, crying. I sit next to her, hoping she'll talk to me.
"I really want to like you." She curled into her legs more, hiding her face in her knees, "I want to be friends, but I keep getting the feeling that you want nothing to do with me. I've tried to respect your wishes. I really have! But... Something in me is just drawn to you. Even while I was terrified, I..." she trails off.
"You think I want nothing to do with you? You know I would refuse to spend time with you and the others. To let you into my art room," maybe now is a good time. I go to my covered canvas, removing the cover, "to paint this for you."
It's too soon to tell her how much I love her.
Why do I feel like she's surprised at the painting for other reasons besides its great? I notice her open sketchbook on the floor, but the art faces the floor.
Lily isn't aware that I picked the book up, seeing she sketched a headshot of my bipedal form and colored it. She's at the beginning steps of drawing my holoform.

Lily's P.O.V.
Sunstreaker's painting looks like the spot in some of my dreams. Now that I think of it, our project is of the other location; a camping spot by the lake. I will not say anything about how I've seen these places in my dreams yet.
"It's beautiful," I tell him. I notice he's looking at my sketchbook. I wouldn't be surprised if my face is red, "I've been working on that since I got here," I argue.
"I'm happy you didn't throw these away."  '
Sunstreaker sits next to me. I lean on him but didn't think he'd move me onto his lap, having me lean on him to hear his heartbeat as he hugs me. This is nice, but...
"No," I tell him and remove his arms from me.
"I will not hurt you," Sunstreaker repeats.
"What would everyone else think? Ironhide already yelled at you. I'm sure my parents think I'm in danger while staying here, and the second Ratchet tells me he believes he doesn't need to closely monitor me, I'll be told to only come back to the base when Ratchet wants to see me. Just if we're only friends, but...."
"There'd be a discussion no matter how the others feel. Optimus would argue that you'd be safe here," Sunstreaker hugs me again, "my parents didn't care about Sideswipe or me, but I can tell yours would try to do what makes you happy, but also make sure you're safe. I hope that doesn't mean Luke has to always be with us. We'll wait until you're ready to talk to Optimus, Prowl, and your parents. I believe we have friends who'd argue on our behalf. I like spending time with you, my brother, Crosshairs and Drift. I know Lightning is trying to like this idea, unlike the rest of the Autobots and the soldiers."
When we talk to the others, I hope to tell you how much I love you.

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
This is good, but it's a shame it took anti-anxiety medication for her to relax. Should I be concerned about that? For now, I try to enjoy how Lily is ok with me hugging her.
Who did you kill now? Sideswipe asks through the bond.
Seriously? I can't be happy for another reason.
I don't remember the last time you were this happy for any other reason.
I'm sure you'll find out soon, Sideswipe. I smile, wishing I could take a picture at this moment.

Before Lily falls asleep on me — though that would be nice — I suggest we work on our painting. While Lily finishes the outline, I text Drift and Rung about what happened. Feeling weird, I'm telling anybot, never mind two. I only text Ratchet asking if the medicine is helping too much, and once Lily is off it, we're back to where we started this morning.
Ratchet: no, the medicine is to help her relax enough to avoid anxiety. 
Enough to get her to talk to me.

By lunch, I wish I could convince Lily not to return to school, but I'd be accused of being controlling. Excuse me if I want to spend more time with her. Something I normally wouldn't care to do. Maybe it's true; Lily wants to return to school to see her friend. She can't ask them to come here without permission, and I think her friend would find it strange that Lily goes to a military base after school and on weekends. I don't think Ratchet will have Lily live here much longer, nor do I believe her parents will let her live here by choice.
Even after our talk, Lily is afraid to show she trusts me more than she has in the past week.
I want her to be ready to talk, but the sooner, also better. Lily brings her sketchbook back to her room. On my way to the cafeteria, I find Ironhide.

"Did she yell at you?" Ironhide asks.
"No, she finally told me she wants to be my friend but knows it's highly unacceptable before talking to her parents, and that's just us being friends. I don't know if she's falling for me."
"It's wise to have the conversation sooner than wait for her to be ready, and that'll help a lot," Ironhide suggests.
"And how do you suggest I convince her you or the others won't be bothered by our friendship? Never mind if we're dating?"
I walk away before he can answer.
No one will want to do anything with me, and the only way to show Lily it's ok if we're friends or even dating is if the others don't avoid me.