Secret Crush

Anthony

September

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since I'd seen Tiffany, two weeks since I helped carry her stuff to her room. It's been two long ass weeks since I've given her my number and she left me on read. Honestly, I was pissed off and a bit heartbroken. I guess the guys were right, she didn't like me. Not romantically, or just in friendship. She didn't care, and that's what hurts the most. At least before I got to talk to her, I got to believe that she could like me. That we, one day, could be together.

I sighed heavily, watching the TV from my bed where I was laying. I suddenly glared at the TV. Stupid TV's, without them, I'd be able to remain in my dreamland. Now I was forced out. How could she not like me? I'm a great guy! I have great looks, I'm talented, and I'm rich...or my parents are rich. I have my own money, and I could get her many gifts. Hell, I would have just been happy to be her chauffeur. I just wanted to be around her, and now the idea has just been shot out of the sky with a bazooka and then stomped on.

I sat up to look at the clock. I told the guys I'd meet them at Lake View for dinner. I dragged myself out of my bed, then grabbed some track sweats and a hoodie. I hated myself for feeling this way about a girl. I hated her for making me feel with way. But I couldn't help it. I felt like I wanted to vomit, cry, and punch something all at the same time. I sighed heavily, how can I feel this way about her? As Jonesy said, I don't even know her.

But I wanted to know her. I wanted to so bad. She is all I can think about, even if I hate myself for it. Her smile, her laughter, and her presence just made me so happy inside; even now it does. I grabbed my phone, keys, and wallet, then text in the group chat. "OMW,"

Lake View is her dorm. I pray to God she's not there. But I know she will be, I can feel it. I wonder what I'll do when I see her. I locked my door and head out deep in thought.

Will I shun her, and make her feel like she makes me feel? Will I continue to be nice, and ask her about her day? I hope I shun her; I hope I don't even look her way, I hope I can just keep going on with my day, even though it hurts. But I know I won't. I can hope all I want. I know I'll ask her how she's been, and then compliment her on whatever she's wearing, because I know whatever it is, she's going to be gorgeous.

I walked into the main doors of Lake View, and walk to their cafeteria. I saw Gary and Jonesy standing outside the cafeteria door.

"There he is! Aw, you look like someone killed your pet," Gary spoke as I gave him a handshake. I greeted Jonesy, David, then Cole who was more inside of the cafeteria.

"More like someone killed his ego," David teased, putting his arm around my shoulder. David didn't care about how I felt anyways, so I pushed him off.

"Whatever," I mumbled, scanning my ID, then walked fully into to the barbecue-smelling room. It made my mouth water. "I'm actually done this time," I added, stuffing my hands in my pockets.

"Well, I guess we can start looking at the Buffet," Jonesy pats my back. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm fasting, I don't want any food," I looked at him, making Cole laugh. I looked around as we walk to the tables. I didn't see her anywhere. It's dinner time, where was she? My eyes went to the ground as my thoughts wandered.

"Is that Brown?" A deep voice brought me out of my depressing thoughts. I looked up to see De'Angelo, a fellow athlete, football though. I forced a half smile.

"What's up," I shook his hand, my snap at the end a bit louder than what I wanted.

"Y'all 'bout to eat?" He asked after greeting the gang.