Starless Sky (Constellation Series #1)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Party

"Ayaw ko" Mabilis ang naging pagtanggi ko sa paanyaya ni Sky. I don't want those elegant parties or events! Hindi naman ako bagay sa ganun, e.  Sigurado akong mayaman at businessman/woman  ang mga dadalo, manliliit lang ako at tatanungin ko na naman ang sarili kung bakit wala kaming pribilehiyo kagaya ng mayroon sila. That's what I hate about myself, sometimes I'm being envious and irrational.

"Again? Estella, almost every year for eight years I'm asking you about this and you never said yes. Why can't you give yourself a break and come with me? Stop refusing and I promise you, it will be fun. It's just a family party to Ate Dike for her comeback." Tinusok ko ng tinidor ang hotdog na nasa lamesa.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko sa kanya, totoo naman kasi lahat ng kanyang sinabi. Ni minsan sa loob ng walong taon ay hindi pinaunlakan ang paanyaya niya. I'm guilty, I know! Hindi ko lang talaga Makita ang sarili na makihalubilo sa mga bisita nila. Alam kong hindi talaga ako bagay.

"Si Cassandra na lang ang imbitahan mo, ayaw ko talaga, my social anxiety could never" When I looked at him, I saw how his jaw clenched and fisted his hand. Mukhang hindi niya nagustuhan ang aking sinabi.

He should have invited the girl he likes instead of me! It's his chance to start making a move! Sayang opportunity. Tsaka isa pa, mayaman at elegante si Cassandra at bagay na bagay sa kanya ang ganung okasyon, halata naman din na sanay na sanay na siya sa ganun.

"Your social anxiety will never stay away from you if you're not gonna fight it, come on. Face it, that's the challenge. You're soon to be a teacher, you have to stand up and talk confidently in front of your future students. What will happen to you? Social anxiety? That's hopeless"  I know him. Alam ko na pinipigilan niya ang sarili na magalit, my social anxiety was always a reason to refuse.

Naiintindihan ko naman ang sinabi niya at palagi naman siyang tama, but can you blame me? Ayaw ko rin syempre sa social anxiety na ito ang kaso lang ay ng dahil sa estado ng buhay ko  hindi ko ito maiwasan. I was fearful of judgement from other people, especially from those people who don't even know me, they don't even have an idea of my struggles.

These cases have never really hit home for me. I do know a lot of people who choose to judge others based on looks or first impressions. Sometimes , we don't want to be rude or offensive; it just sometimes comes out of our mouths by accident. I don't like being in such kinds of situations that's why I'm avoiding being in a one room with those kind of people as much as I could.

I constantly make an effort to see the best in others because I am aware of how important it is to do so. It is unfair to judge someone based on the limited information we have because we do not know their entire story.

In those cases where we do know what is going on, it still is important not to judge. Someone may be going through a rough time.

"How about Cassandra?" Ulit kong tanong, napamura siya ng mahina at marinig ipinikit ang mga mata.

"Fuck! Stop talking about her, please." Masuyo na pakiusap niya habang nakapikit pa rin. I chewed my lower lip and nodded even though he's not looking.

"Mom wants to see you" nagulat ako sa sunod niyang sinabi.

Yes, his family know me. They know that I'm their son's bestfriend. Minsan ay dinadala ako ni Sky sa mansion nila. He has a kind and busy family. Wala akong natanggap na panlalait mula sa kanila kahit alam nila ang estado ng buhay ko.