Starless Sky (Constellation Series #1)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

The truth

The next day, I woke up earlier than I used to. I cleared my mind last night; before I slept, I had already reflected. I know that my actions hurt my girl, and I was really mad at myself for making her feel that pain.

I know that saying sorry won't justify my actions. My emotions took over my system last night. I shouldn't have doubted Estella in the first place. Her eyes, her tears, and her sobs keep playing back like a broken digital versatile disc in my mind.

"Good morning po" I greeted the florist. This flower shop is the only shop na binibilhan ko ng flowers for Estella. The name of the shop is Stella Bloom.

"Good morning pogi! Ang aga mo ngayon?" The old woman; the florist greeted me back.

"Yes po, may misunderstanding po kami ni Estella kagabi, susuyo po muna" I said while scratching my head. Mapapagalitan ako nito.

"Anong ginawa mong bata ka? Nako, sinasabi ko na nga ba e! Huwag mong sasaktan ang batang iyun. Alam mong napakabait ni Estella!" My lips protruded. Isang beses ko lang isinama dito si Estella pero sobrang lapit agad nila sa isa't-isa.

"I will fix it po" kinurot niya ang tagiliran ko at sinimulang ayusin ang bulaklak. It's tulip. My girlfriend's favourite flower.

"Aba e, dapat lang! Ang isang relasyon hindi yan maayos kung walang kikilos. At kung ikaw ang may kasalanan ay dapat lamang na ikaw ang kumilos." Nangunot ang medyo kulubot na niyang balat sa noo.

Nang matapos ay nagpaalam na rin ako.

"Love, I'm sorry. I love you- Esh! It's too short!" I shook my head. I'm currently practicing my apology speech for her inside the car. Nasa pagawaan pa si Kiefer kaya kotse muna ang gamit ko.

"Love, Estella. I know you don't want to
talk to me since I offended you. Still, I couldn't help but feel the need to
sincerely apologize to you. I apologize for
being so callous to your feelings and for just
considering my emotions.There is no
justification for my actions. Give me an opportunity to show you how
much I love you—I think it's too much! Think again, Sky!" I was holding a pen and a paper. Sinusulat ko ang mga sinasabi ko para masaulo ko sya right after.

"I apologize for snapping at you last night. I'm not sure how I lost track of the good and
bad moments we've had together and raged at you for a mistake you didn't even commit. I lack the words to adequately express how
embarrassed I am of myself. Please pardon me; I feel sad without you—ahh! This is harder than competing on a debate!" I frustratedly pulled my hair. I'm so stupid!

Mas maganda siguro kung tagalog na lang? I'll try.

"Alam kong ayaw mo akong kausapin dahil nasaktan kita. Pero hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko at gusto kong humingi ng tawad sa iyo. I am sorry for being so inconsiderate towards your feelings and thinking only about my—fuck! Tagalog nga dapat!" I keep on cursing myself. I can't even speak straight using Filipino language, how can she forgive me?! I'm fucking hopeless.

"Walang dahilan para sa aking pag-uugali. Kung hahayaan mo akong bumalik sa iyong buhay, siguraduhing gagawin ko ang lahat sa aking kapangyarihan upang maging pinakamahusay na tao sa mundo. Bigyan mo ako ng pagkakataong patunayan ang pagmamahal ko sayo." My brows knotted while I'm reading the Google translate. Bakit parang mali? Bakit naging sobrang OA?