Starless Sky (Constellation Series #1)

Chapter 10

Chapter  10

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"H-Huh?" I stammered.

Halos hindi ako makahinga dahil sa pagkabigla. Does he really say those words or..... I'm just being delusional again? Napaka imposible naman diba? Baka nga kung ano - ano na din ang naririnig ko dahil sa lapit ng mukha naming dalawa. Tama, oo! Wala siyang sinabi. Pinilit kong bumangon pero tuluyan ng nanghina ang katawan ko nang muli siyang nagsalita.

"I love you, Estella"  he clarified.

Pilit akong tumawa "H-huwag ka ngang ganyan! Alam ko naman yan! Syempre..syempre mahal mo ako! Sa walong taon ba naman nating mag best friend! Syempre, M-mahal mo ako as a friend!" Pinasigla ko pa ang boses ko para naman kahit papaano ay matakman ang pagkakagulat ko.

"I love you" ulit niya.

"Ahh," my braincells quit. Hindi na kaya, unti-unti ng namamatay ang mga cells ko sa katawan! He completely invaded my system.

"I love you more than friends, I love you as a woman. I want you to be my girl" Ang kaninang nagaalangan na tono ng boses niya ay nawala na. Sobrang confident na niya habang sinasabi ang mga katagang kumikitil sa hininga ko.

"I just can't help it anymore, being secretly in love with you in eight years is a torture for me. The first time I laid my eyes on you, I know the fact that I'm doomed." Malalim ang paghinga niya habang patuloy sa pag-amin.

On the other hand, I can't move. Hearing him confessing his feelings for me, unexpected is underestimated.

"I don't really make friends, I prefer to live my life all alone,but I willingly offer myself as your friend as soon as I noticed that you're always alone. I may not confess this feeling sooner but at least I got all your attention as being your best friend. Sanay ako na ako lang, Estella. Sanay ako na ako lang ang kumakaon at naghahatid sayo, sanay ako na ako lang ang lalaki na nakakasabay mong kumain, sanay ako na sa akin ka lang tumatawa ng walang halong pampepeke. And when TJ came in the frame, my ego rouse up" nakikinig lang ako sa kanya. Hindi ko pa rin kasi mahanap ang boses ko para tugunin siya.

"I was so jealous, I started saying yes to Cassandra's invitations. I thought it would help me to erase all the Jealousy I have between you two" malumanay na hinahaplos niya ang  likod ko.

"But nothing changed, my jealousy triggered when TJ came into your classroom with a bouquet of flowers. Right at that moment,I know I was late. Alam ko na hindi ko pa man sinusubukang lumaban ay talo na ako. I envy him, for the first time in my life, I feel so insecure. How I wish I was him, I believe in his fighting spirit. Mahirap kang aluin e, pero napapayag ka niya na ligawan ka. Pinagsisihan ko ang lahat ng sinabi ko sayo noong araw ng defense mo."

"I came back to where I left you that time to make things all right but you're already gone and when I went straight to your classroom, all my defenses collapsed when I saw TJ hugging you." Gulat akong tumingin sa mata niya only to found out that his eyes were closed and a tear escaped from his eyes. Sinalo ko ang luha niya at nangangatal na hinawakan ang kanyang pisngi para tuyuin gamit ang daliri ko.

He jolted and opened his eyes. Magsalubong ang tingin namin at hindi ko na napigilan ang paghikbi na lumabas sa bibig ko. I've been stopping myself to cry since he started talking.