My Best Friends Brother // Supernatural

Chapter 87

"Come on Reggie, please" Dean shakes me, I feel something fall onto my face, I open my eyes and they're both sitting around my body, Sam and Dean both crying "Oh thank god" Dean says resting his forehead on me, I instantly lay a hand on my belly trying to listen for a heartbeat but there's nothing "no" I whimper sitting up "come on little hunter" I whisper, tears flowing down my face but I can feel it. She's gone before her life even started

"Damn it" I say "No?" Dean says, his eyes begging for a different answer but I shake my head "Damn it" Dean groans pulling me closer to him and wrapping his arms around me but I just cry "She's gone Dean" I sob, they're crying too but trying to hold back "Our miracle baby" I whisper "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I should've listened to you" I whisper "No no, please don't blame yourself" Dean begs, he pulls away and looks into my eyes "You're alive, that's important too okay" He says, his eyes desperate and pained. He picks me up and carries me outside, Tracy pulls up in the impala and gives Sam the keys. Dean sits in the back seat with me

But I don't say anything, I stopped crying, I'm just staring up ahead

"You know what to do now right?" I hear a faint voice in my head the voice belongs to Ash, I sigh "Turn it off, you'll never get over this. You had one chance at being a mother and you ruined it because you're selfish. Stubborn. You think this baby was only yours? Look at Dean, you ruined his chances of being a father, this is all he wanted and you blew it again. Like you always fucking do" Ash continues, I look at Dean. He's trying to look tough but I can see the tears rolling down his cheek, he looks at me and runs his thumb over the tear rolling down my cheek

The ride is silent

You can sense the pain in the air, Sam drops Tracy at a bus station and drives back to the bunker

We get there and I walk away from the boys, straight to the dungeon "She did it didn't she" Crowley asks, I purse my lips together "she killed my baby" I whisper, he tilts his head the slightest "And what are you down here for?" Crowley asks "I don't know" I say, Crowley smiles a little "You're fighting it, aren't you? You want to turn it all off" he says "Yes" I say, fresh tears streaming down my face "You think this will help? turning it all off? Everyone needs a little humanity" Crowley says "Do you have any?" I ask "Enough" he replies, I nod "Listen Crowley I am fighting for my humanity here, in the best fucking mood to carve up a demon. And by the way you're dripping with blood I'm guessing Kev got ahold of you too" I say

"He did" Crowley says, I nod again "Give me some names Crowley, or I will kill you whether the boys want to or now" I say, Crowley is looking into my eyes looking for any sign of bluff "Martin Hayward and Brandon Favors" Crowley replies "Cool" I say walking away, I walk up to the map chamber where Sam and Dean are sitting drinking whiskey "Martin Hayward and Brandon Favors," I say, they turn to look at me shocked "Demons, Crowley told me. Um you should look them up, and try call Cas" I say Kevin walks past me with a backpack "Come back here kid" I say "Crowley says my mother is alive, I have to find her" Kevin says, I shake my head "You're not going out there okay, Crowley is a liar. You need to stay here with us" I say "Abaddon is ruthless and she will spare nobody, specially nobody this close to us" I say

"You only need me for information" Kevin says "Information? Kid your family now, you and Cas. You're all we've got in this planet now" I say "I lost one kid today I am not losing another at the hands of another fucking demon Kevin. So please" I say, he's frowning a little but he's crying "my mother" he whispers "I'm sorry" I say opening my arms for him and he falls into them, sobbing hard "I wish there was a way of knowing if she's still out there, but for now this is what you've got" I say rubbing his back, I guide him to his room and sit with him until he falls asleep, tears are rolling down my cheeks at the thought of never seeing my little hunter grow up, never being able to hold her in my arms. I rest my hand on my belly, someone has to get her out

I walk back to the map room, the boys are sitting in silence "I need your help" I say, they turn to me "I can't carry a dead baby, I need one of you to get her out" I say "how are we meant to do that? You need a hospital" Dean says "and how will I explain the fact that I'm going to keep healing and they're going to have to keep cutting?" I ask "you're going to have to load me up on vervain and do it" I say "please" I almost beg, Sam nods, Dean looks unsure but they both get up anyways. There's a table in the dungeon and that's what we will use, the boys sterilised some kitchen knives and made a vervain drip "ready?" Sam asks, I lay back on the table and I can see Dean looking at me. He doesn't know what to say, he just grabs my hand tight "I'll be here the entire time" Dean reassures me, Sam puts the drip on my arm and we wait until the vervain completely passes through me