Human // c.d

102

"Jessi, stop!" I heard him say, but I was to focused on walking out the door and getting away from this hellhole aka him.

"You're girlfriend is waiting on you Cameron." I yelled, looking back at him, and seeing his worried face almost made me want to stop running. I think it's just weird because I went from seeing him everyday to not seeing him for three months. I've missed him like hell, but he's obviously not taking it hard.

"At least stop running." He said, loud enough for me to hear him.

"Why? It's not like I want to talk to you!" I quickened my pace, running across multiple taxi's at once. I was being honked at my at least three different cars, but the only thing on my mind was still fucking Cameron, yet I couldn't turn around to look at him.

"Jessi fucking stop!" Cameron screamed, and I felt his arms wrap completely around me, pushing me forwards to where I was safe from being hit from a car.

I don't know what I was thinking. How can I be so careless to walk in the middle of traffic. I could have killed myself.

"What the hell?" He screamed, still holding me against him.

"I'm sorry." I said, coming to realization with what I just did and letting the tears fall down my cheeks.

His hand rested on the back of my head, pressing me against his chest. I was out of breath and so was he.

"You should really get back to your girlfriend though." I nodded, completely out of breath. I'm sad that he is dating another girl besides me. I've never been so jealous.

"No." He said. "She can wait."

"No." I backed away, "I don't know what you're trying to do or trying to talk to me about, but I don't want to hear it."

"Fine." He said calmly, but you could tell he was angry. He turned away from me, running his hands through his hair.

"God." He screeched, "You're such a fucking bitch sometimes!"

"Cameron!" I yelled back, pushing him with full force, "You are in no position to be calling me a bitch!"

"And why not? Because I broke up with you and ignored you for 3 months? Because if I'm not mistaking, you're the one who did that!"

"How dare you even say that." I huffed, biting my lip to prevent me from crying. "My dad died that night Cameron, and you should have been smart enough to know everything I was saying wasn't even true."

"Well you sure did sound as if you were telling the truth." He said.

We both stood in awkward silence, letting the window blow our hair in all different directions.

"Lyla is waiting for you." I whispered enough for him to hear.

"Stop worrying about Lyla."

"Oh trust me. She's the last fucking thing I'm worrying about." I screeched.

"Calm down." He said, setting his hand on my shoulder and rubbing his thumb against my skin.

"Stop." I backed away from him. "You know you can't do that."

"I can." He bluntly said.

"No. You can't." I said again, "I'm sorry, but you need to get back to your girlfriend, and I need to get back to Julian. Can we just be-"

"Can we just what? Please don't even say it."

"Friends." I went against him, even though I don't even want to be friends with him. It's impossible to be friends with someone that you love.

"No. I can't be your friend Jessi." He shook his head, "I don't even know what to say right now."

"Don't say anything, Cameron." I lightly said, "You need to go."

"Jessi you love me."

"I do love you, but you have a girlfriend and I'm not going in the middle of that."

"She's not even my girlfriend. We've just been talking for a week. Me and you have been together for a fucking year."

I didn't know what to say to him, and I knew I wasn't getting out of this.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, crossing my arms, "You want me to say I love you? That I want to be with you? Because yes I do love you and yes I do want to be with you and I'll probably never get over you, but-"

"But what?" He knitted his eyebrows, his lips trembling.

"But it hurts Cameron. That you're already moving on so fast. And no, I don't want you to deprive over me for the rest of your life, but it's only been three months and look. You're already with another girl."

"Okay, I'm sorry. Is that what you want me to say? I'll stop talking to her. I'll do anything you want."

"No. Think about how bad I would feel if you did that."

"Well, you seem to be feeling bad right now, so what's the difference?"

"Can we just go back? I don't want to do this here." I said, slowly walking off.

He looked away, "You really have to make things complicated don't you?"

"We've seen each other for twenty minutes, and you think I'm easy enough to just get back with you?"

"That's what we've always done."

"Oh okay." I cleared my throat, ignoring him as awkwardly walked back to the restaurant.

//

"Cameron, baby, I was worried!" I heard Lyla say to him, and I watched as he kept a blank face towards her, showing almost no sympathy at all.

"Nothing to worry about." Cameron nodded to her.

"I'm sorry for the.. Disruption." I said, considering Julian was eyeing me down.

"It's fine." Lyla said to me, almost as if she was pissed. I would be pissed at me too if I was her.

I noticed outside the window where we were sitting, rain went from sprinkling to pouring in a matter of two minutes.

The waitress had already came to take our orders, and I ordered spaghetti because it was the only thing I could really read. I didn't even know half the food choices because they were fancy names that I'd never even heard of.

I tried to stay calm about the fact that the boy I love is sitting in the chair next to me with another girl.

Cameron is suppose to be mine. Not hers, not anyone's. Mine.

"I have a question for you, Julian." Julian's 'date' smiled towards her, and the only thing I could think of was that he was going to fucking ask to marry her.

"Yes?" Julian blushed, and I almost threw up. How could she like him? It's only been three months since her husband died, and she's already moving on so quickly. Why is everyone moving on so quickly except for me?

"Would you like to come over after dinner and hangout at the house? Oh and Jessi too." He said, almost forgetting about me.

"Oh! And Cameron and I can join! We can have like a family game night." Lyla had to shout at the table even though everyone can hear her clearly.

"Well doesn't that sound delightful!" I mimicked her tone, and watched Cameron try not to laugh.

Score for me.

"Sounds like a plan.." Julian said, awkwardly looking at me.

I'm not dreading this at all. I want to see how Cameron and Lyla will act around each other.

I want to see if he actually likes her.