Sketched Memories of Yesterday (Insomniac Series 1)

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Sinamahan muna ako ni Ate Lexi sa chapel ng ospital at doon ako nagpalipas ng oras. Ang ibang mga kaibigan nila ay wala pang alam sa nangyari kay Mitch. "Can I ask?" putol ko sa katahimikan naming dalawa. Nang malingon niya 'ko ay saka ako nagsalita ulit.

"Kailan pa may sakit si Mitch?"

She smiled bitterly before answering. "Kahit kami ay hindi rin alam na may sakit siya kung hindi pa siya nadatnan ni Solene isang gabi."

"Tinago niya rin sainyo?"

Tumango siya. "You know Michelle. She's really good at hiding things. I'm sorry for not telling you about this right away. Michelle told us not to."

So, everyone knows except me... "Why would she?"

"She don't want to be a burden to you, Jacob."

A burden? Pero hindi naman siya naging ganoon sa'kin. I am willing to take care of her only if she let me. Why am I always the last one to know everything about her? Natahimik saglit ang paligid naming dalawa hanggang sa yayain niya na rin ako puntahan si Mitch.

My heart skipped a beat the moment I finally stepped in and saw her on a hospital bed. Ang daming nakakabit sa kanya. Even by just laying there, I can tell that she's still and really fighting to live. Her father's there, too, crying beside her. He looks so tired as well like his daughter. Natigil lang siya sa kahahagulgol nang lapitan siya ni Ate Lexi. "Tito, kami na po muna magbabantay. Magpahinga na po kayo." 

Hindi niya pinansin ang sinabi ni Ate Lexi at matagal akong tinignan. "Ikaw 'yong binatang nag-abot ng regalo sa anak ko, hindi ba?" Lapit na nito sa'kin.

"A-ako nga po. Pasensya na po kung hindi po ako nakapagsabi na pupunta ako ngayon dito. G-gusto ko pong tumulong sa pag-alaga sa kanya." I looked back at Michelle who's in her very deep sleep. I controlled my tears and looked away immediately. Nahihirapan akong tignan siya sa kanyang kalagayan ngayon.

"Nobyo ka ba niya?" He asked me again the same question the way he did the first time we met. But this time, I didn't hesitate to nod. "Naku, hindi mo pa inamin sa'kin no'ng unang nagkita tayo. Hindi naman ako magagalit." He hid his sadness in his little laughs.

Napalingon din ako kay Ate Lexi at malapad na nakangiti sa'kin. She even mouthed "congrats, kilala ka na" kaya natawa rin ako. I offered myself to take care of Michelle for the rest of her time here in the hospital. Pumayag din naman ang Papa niya. Dahilan na rin 'yon para makapagpahinga sila.

Nang maiwan ako ay saka ko lamang hinayaang bumagsak ang mga luha ko. Hawak-hawak ko na ang kamay niya ngayon. Ang tagal kong hinanap 'to na parang matagal na panahon akong nawalay at sa bawat oras na hinahagilap ko siya ay wala akong kamalay-malay na ganito na pala ang sitwasyon niya.

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"I missed you, Mitchie." Our eyes finally met again after not seeing each other for a month. The worries faded away for a while when I saw her finally awake from the hospital bed. It calms me now but the pain by seeing her looking so weak gave me so much fear. Fear that I might lose her anytime...

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I was expecting the same answer I heard from her friend but... "It's... It's for the best. I'm sorry." I ended up confused of what she have said. We got into a little argument because of that but fixed it right away. We don't have time for that anymore.

And just like hearing her cry, her words are also killing me. Ayaw kong tanggapin na may gusto siyang ipahiwatig sa'kin sa bawat salitang binibitawan niya. Hindi ako handa ro'n. Ayaw kong mangyari 'yon... Despite of the heavy atmosphere between us, feeling her in my arms gave me so much of a comfort. She is and always will.