Mrs Hansen || A Lloyd Hansen Story

Penis Shot Glasses

Vodka, apple juice and cigarettes. That was the smell that Lloyd found himself surrounded in. Rebecca had stumbled through the door of their apartment around 3am, bouncing audibly off of every single wall, surface and edge. Lloyd winced with every crash, she bruised like a peach and he counted each bang. Eight, eight fresh new bruises just in time for the wedding next week.

"Coffee?" Lloyd asked, holding a steaming hot mug next to the frizzy mane of blonde hair that lay on the pillow.

There was a grunt from under the sheets, "Why are you shouting? And that smells fucking awful." Rebecca heaved, taking slow jittery breaths as she tried to settle the vortex of liquids swishing around in her stomach.

Lloyd chuckled devilishly, bringing his cup to his lips, "Did you have a good night?"

Rebecca turned onto her back, "No, not really." She grumbled.

Face falling into concern Lloyd climbed back into bed beside her, "Explain." He said abruptly.  

His gaze fell immediately on the cheap beaded necklace dangling out of the covers, "The fuck?" He pulled it out finding a penis shaped shot glass attached to the end. "I hope you told everyone that this in no way represents the size of my cock."

"I told them all it was modelled on you." Rebecca snorted.

Lloyd stopped himself from digging his fingers into her side as punishment, she was hungover and that was enough.

"What happened last night?" He asked instead.

"The girls were more interested in finding cocaine than actually dancing. It just wasn't what I expected it to be. I always thought my bachelorette party would be plastic penises and shots. Not me sitting at a bar being hit on by old men, although now that I think about it..."

Lloyd quirked his eyebrow, "Don't you fucking dare." He warned.

"That's how I met my fiancé you know," She shuffled up slowly into a sitting position, every tiny movement threatening to upchuck her guts onto the sheets, "He was some old man at a strip club trying to pay me to dance for him."

"You're treading on some thin ice young lady." Lloyd gave her the side eye, "Did you dance for him?" A cheeky smirk sat in the corner of his lip, his moustache twitching.

Rebecca rolled over, leaning her head on his chest, "Eventually."

***

Lloyd groaned painfully, the ache in his body waking him. He cocked his head to the side, smiling as he reached for the water and pills that were sitting on the beside cabinet. Rebecca must have gotten up during the night and put them there, because they definitely weren't there when they went to bed.

Glancing across the bed he saw the tangled mane of blonde hair sticking out of the top of the duvet. Tony who usually slept in the middle of bed was nowhere to be seen. As his mind began to wake up properly his nose was filled with the aroma of cinnamon and something else that he couldn't quite pin point.

After taking his painkillers, he gave himself a ten-minute grace period before attempting to rise from his bed. Every movement was excruciating, and it felt like an eternity before he could even sit up. He quietly opened his drawers, searching for a pair of sweatpants. As he held them in his hand, he realized that putting them on would be a daunting task.

Suddenly, a deep voice whispered from the doorway, "Can I help with that, son?" Lloyd nodded, holding his finger to his lips as he gestured towards the bed. Arthur understood and silently entered the room. Lloyd handed him the pants, Arthur scrunched them up and slipped each foot into the holes, pulling them up to the middle of Lloyd's thigh. He left Lloyd to do the rest.