Chapter 23: Healing

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Fatima's Journey

Fatima is still going to see her therapist a few times a week. She has written all her letters. The only one she mailed was the one to her mom. The other ones she kept, but it felt good getting all her emotions out. A few days after her mom received the letter, she called Fatima to apologize. She went over to the house, and they talked.

"Fatima, I'm sorry for being so mean to you and not taking your side during the situation with you and Paris," said Lady P. "You are my daughter and I love you. You are beautiful, you are smart, and you are wise beyond your years. I just want you to be happy."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you too.

"Paris messed up. He lost a gem. Do you know that other fiancé of his is pregnant?"

"Are you serious, Mom?

"Yes. I think she is about 3 months."

"So, are you and Mrs. Johnson still friends?" Fatima asked.

"Yes, we are but not as close. I think we bonded over you two being together and hoping ya'll get married."

"Sorry to disappoint," Fatima said sarcastically.

"So does this mean you are coming back home?" asked her mother.

"Oh no, Mom. My time living with you and Dad has expired. I am almost 30. I was just living with you guys to save money and because I wasn't trying to shack up with Paris at the time. Right now, everything is good at Andi's, so I'm going to be her roommate."

"Do you need any money or anything?" Asked her mom.

"No ma'am. The paralegal job is paying pretty good until I pass the bar."

"Ok. But what about church?"

"I'll come back this Sunday. I don't know if Dad told you, but I've still been helping out on the finance committee."

"No. He didn't tell me anything about you. He told me if I wanted to know anything then I should apologize and ask you myself."

"That's Pastor Fred for you. I bet you Summer is glad I haven't been there because she gets to lead all the songs."

"Of Course. You haven't talked to her either?" Asked Lady P.

"Nope. No disrespect Ma, but she is just as messy as you are."

"Wow, that was disrespectful. I'm just glad to have my daughter back. Maybe we could have a girls' shopping day."

"Sounds good. Let me go check on Patrick and then I'm headed out."

They both hug and go their separate ways.

***

That Sunday she did go to church. Pastor preached about healing. Fatima knew she had to have a one-on-one, heart-to-heart with Paris. She deserved closure. The last two incidents she had with him were a fiasco.

After service, she decided to rush out. She wasn't in the mood for people to ask her where she had been, what happened to the wedding, and yada yada yada. She gets in her car and Summer knocks on her window.

"Oh, so you're trying to avoid me?" Summer asked.

"No, I'm just not in the mood for you right now, but I will call you when I am." Fatima rolls her window up and drives off.

She texted París to see when he would be available to talk alone. She felt like they needed to discuss what happened, and he agreed. He told her to come by his parents' house, he would be there. She first stopped by the house to get her Dear Paris letter. Then heads over.

"Are your parents or sister going to come anytime soon? I just want to talk with you today." Fatima asked.

"I believe Ma said they had another service today," he said looking at her like you don't know.

"Oh ok. Can we get started?" She asked.

"Yes. Sure. Have a seat. You could go first."

Fatima starts by reading her letter. As she was writing this letter each sentence brought on a different emotion. But this time, reading aloud in front of Paris she didn't feel a thing. I mean if anything she just felt disappointed. Disappointed in herself for wasting this amount of time with a man knowing she hadn't been happy for a while. It wasn't his fault that she couldn't speak up for herself though.

She told him that when he cheated on her in college that she fell out of love with him. She had forgiven him, but her heart didn't. If it wasn't for their mothers interfering, she wouldn't have ever gotten back with him. How she let everyone else assume control over her life, she didn't know but was ready to get that control back. Then she told him the reason she couldn't go through with the wedding.

"I have been through a healing journey. In the beginning, I went into depression. I blamed myself for causing every relationship dear to me for failing." She thought about which of those relationships she was referring to: her mom, Paris, her BFF Summer, and Zac. "After all these months of beating myself up, I have finally decided to give myself grace."

Fatima gives Paris the floor. He tells her about his fiancé, Brittany.

"I found out a month ago that she is pregnant, but I don't know if it's mine or the ex she went back to. T' I wish it was you. I'm so sorry for all that I put you through. I miss you; I miss us.

"Wow, Paris. You reap what you sow. Sorry to hear that."

They hug it out and Paris moves in for a kiss.

She pushes away.

"What the hell?"

"Umm, Paris. After all that I just said, where did you get the idea that you could kiss me? It is not that type of party."

"But..." said Paris trying to explain but Fatima cut him off.

"But nothing. This was just so we can heal and move on. Let's find a way to be cordial with each other since our family and friend circle is close."

Fatima grabs her purse. "Thanks for everything. I wish you the best. No hard feelings," she said and left.

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