Distanced

RSVP

Hyunjin

Well, I guess Changbin finally gave up, I'm kind of relieved but at the same time I feel like complete shit. I may have initiated the whole dare thing, but Changbin was the one who gave me the dare. I blame myself but I also blame him and right now I hate him. I hate myself because I knew there would be some damage, I hurt my best friend and I ruined his relationship that he was so happy about. Happy that he could finally be with someone he could be comfortable with, someone who he could trust.

Ever since the save the dates went out, ever since that night I've kept to myself mostly and tried to ignore all my friends. Then the wedding invites went out and Changbin made it his goal to get me to show myself, to talk to him but I tried to keep quiet and make it look like I was never home even parking my car up the road or around the corner.

I know Seungmin is overjoyed about this whole wedding thing, and I can't blame him, but I also can't help but blame myself for making him lose hope in all of us getting back together. After Jisung stopped talking to me and trying to fix us I wanted to completely shut myself out, out from the world and from everyone. I can't even imagine what Felix or Minho is going through, Felix I know is back in Australia. Chan sends me updates even though I never reply to him, he doesn't seem to mind he's just glad that a read his messages. Even Chan hasn't heard from Minho or Jisung. The only thing I know for sure is that Chan knows Jeongin has kept in contact with Jisung here and there and would often give updates to Chan.

Here I thought we'd be best friends forever and all of us would have our significant others and we would support each other and be there for each other's weddings. The first wedding in the group and none of us can be civil towards each other. Two whole years have gone by and maybe I'm thinking it's been long enough; I want to see my best friends get married and be surrounded by our friends.

Looks like I will be checking yes on the invite.

So much for ignoring the universe, I can't make any promises on being civil though.

The moment I sent the RSVP Changbin didn't even hesitate to show up on my doorstep, but that didn't mean I was going to go easy on him.

"You can hate me all you want but this means the world to Seungmin. Now is just the wait for Felix and Minho. Jisung just RSVP'd a few days ago not even asking if you did or not." Changbin said standing in the doorway as I glare at him. I opened the door and let him slamming the door shut behind him.

I walked over to my couch and sat down not even going to bother asking if he wants something to drink or not. "Don't even try to be friendly with me." I spat. "Come on Jinnie, it's been two years I know I what I did was wrong and I'm sorry. I can't apologize enough believe me; I've hated myself every day since that night." Changbin pleaded.  "I'm only doing this for Seungmin." "Okay I get that. Seungmin is frustrated enough with me that way it is." "Does he know? Does he know the whole story Bin?"

His hesitation told me everything I needed to know. 

"Wow Bin already not telling your soon to be husband everything. I'm sure that will go over well later down the road." I laughed. "Don't tell him Hyunjin. I promise to tell him I will but not right now. This wedding is his everything and I can't mess this up." Changbin replied. I could tell he was being sincere just by the way his eyes were watering. Like I said I'm doing this for Seungmin and that's it. "I won't say anything but you better fucking do it after the wedding." I got up and walked to my room slamming the door shut behind me giving him the signal to go fuck himself.

I have a feeling this will be the wedding of the year.