The Nation's Jackpot Girl (BWWM)

Chapter 78

JOCELYN'S POV

I don't know what to feel. I know he is angry and trying to hide it from me.

I noticed something earlier on. He has this anger shift that's so sudden it catches me off guard. One minute, he's so happy, and the next, he's triggered by something so tiny, and he's either angry or moody, not talking.

Bipolar?

I do not want to overthink it, but that's all in my head. He has those tendencies, and I do not want to overthink it. I have been in a relationship with someone suffering from bipolar disorder, and I knew how it was for me. It wasn't funny, and I had to walk on eggshells around him till after the breakup.

   "You okay, Marcel?" I ask as he drives into his estate. He turns to look at me with a nod and a fake smile that doesn't get to his eyes.

   "Of course I am. Why do you ask?"

   I shrug. "You have been moody since this drive, and I want to know if it's because of what happened at the park. I am so—"

   "You don't have to apologize, Jocelyn. It's not your fault, okay? I should have been sure before making my first move. My desire clouded me, and I should have asked for your consent. I feel terrible,"

   Placing my hand on his, I shake my head. "No. You shouldn't feel terrible,"

   He drives through his gates and cruises to a halt before turning to me. He is a crazily attractive man, but I am being held back by the circumstances surrounding us. I don't want it to seem like I am giving him something because he has helped me.

   That's how I am. Once I am helped, I always look for ways to pay back, to appreciate. And trying to get this involved with him makes it feel like I am paying back by... You know what I mean.

   But Marcel seems not to care about it. I can see it in his eyes. It's genuine, but I want to be sure.

   "Celyn," He begins in a gentle voice as he stares down at my hand. "I want this between us to work, and I am serious about it. I like you, and that's not because I expect things in return from you. I would like you to be like this any day. It's just that you think I am doing all these for you to make you like me, and it makes me feel terrible,"

   I don't want to speak. I lean forward and press my lips on his. He sighs and gives in immediately, returning my kisses with all zeal. His hands travel to my face and gently push my hair behind my ears. His lips are so soft, and they taste like wine. Grapes.

   I have been holding back for too long because I knew I was oddly attracted to him. I don't understand it now, and even kissing him confuses me. I need clarity. I need clarity.

   I pull away from him and lower my head. I find it hard to stare at him, but he leans close and pushes my chin to look at me. He's smiling, and I am, also.

   "Jocelyn, I do not want you to think I do things for you just to expect something in return. It's genuine, and I am being sincere right now. So are you going to do this with me?"

   "I'll have to think about it, though," I whisper.

   He nods. "You take your time."

   We climb out of his car, and the rest of our walk into his condominium is filled with smiles and a tension I want to break.

   I don't know if it's lust. I hope it isn't because I want to kiss him again.

   And immediately, the door shuts behind us. We turn to each other like we have one-way thinking. We both jam bodies and begin kissing fervently.

   Too fast. We've been holding it for so long.

   He pushes me against the wall and lifts my hands away from my body, kissing and grinding his body against mine. I moan in lust when his lips press into my neck.

   "You don't know how long I've wanted to do this to you. I've been a gentleman enough but fuck it." He whispers hotly into my ears.

   Without wasting time, he pushes me back into his arms and places both hands on my buttocks, kneading and moaning in desire. The sound of him moaning has me tethering at the brink of going crazy with lust. He kneads before smacking my buttocks, and that is when I lose every trace of civility in me.

   I push myself and throw my legs around him, and of course, he is strong enough to carry my weight. He pulls away and smiles at me, his eyes twinkling with desire and delight. "You don't know how sexy you are, Celyn. It's hard to think straight when you are around, and I do not say this as a pervert. I say this as a man with blood coursing through his veins."

   I place my finger on his lip, and his eyes darken. We continue kissing, and he slowly walks me up the stairs. I don't know how he does that, but it turns me on. Being in the arms of a man who is strong and capable of handling my weight without feeling slight discomfort will be the best thing to ever happen to me.

   He kicks the door to his room open before placing my feet back on the floor and lifting me onto his desk. His fingers rest on my thigh, warm and weakening my knees.

   Oh, fuck. He knows what to do with his hands.

   He traces his hands up to the hem of my dress and slowly pushes while staring into my eyes.

   "Celyn, I do not know how to be gentle."

   I sunk my upper teeth into my lower lip. "I do not like gentle, either."