It Wasnt My Fault (DNF)

Part 2: Chapter 29

George pov

Ken walked toward us, coming to sit beside Astro, whose head was bowed at the floor in defeat, I'm saddness.

My brother had a small smile on his face, one I'd never seen before, soaked in fondness and dipped in a sweet honey as his light brown eyes held something almost tangible.

"Astro." he voice didn't crack, but I could hear the longing and sadness behind it as he reached a hand out, cupping Astro's cheek softly.

"Why didn't you tell me about him?" I ask, my voice more bitter than I intended, surprising me with the mundane tone that I'd never used with my brother before.

Ken, however, was unfazed.

He turned towards me, his facial features changing as his eyes met mine, a protective smile on his lower face as his pupils shone with happiness.

Happiness.

When had I ever seen that on Ken's face.

This emotion that was enveloped his entire ghost was one he didn't share with me when we had spent time together.

Astro looked up at me, interest and hope glowing on his face as he grinned and blushed slightly.

"Is Ken here?" he asked eagerly.

I nod, gesturing to the cushion beside him where a figure sat from a place he couldn't see.

"K-Ken?" Astro spoke, tears welling up in his eyes. "You're here... you're finally here, sitting next to me again."

Once again, I felt like I did when I was younger and Ken had gotten home from work: ignored.

Ignored because he was too lost in the infatuation of the boy that sat in front of me.

I smile, for once feeling the same happiness my brother used to bring me again.

I turn my head, leaning further than what seemed possible into Clay's embrace, being met with a kiss to the top of the head.

Ken was the first to break the blissful silence.

"Alright, that's enough, no more." I laugh, still welcoming his untimely humor.

Even if it was just for a few seconds, I felt whole again.

And, god, it was a feeling I longed to have on a regular.

Regular... just another word for normal.

My eyes welled up with tears.

Nothing about this was normal, nothing about this was natural.

I was just a 16-year-old boy who was abused until my 14th birthday when I was saved by my older brother who died trying to protect the people around him.

I was just the scowling teenager who opened his front door to a stranger who needed his help and his support, falling in love within mere weeks after our first encounter.

I was just me, the high schooler who brooded in the darkest spots in the classroom and was on the edge of depression, being reminded of the thing I regretted most daily by the ghost that followed me around with his hand on my shoulder as if to guide me.

I needed a guide because I was so lost.

It had been two years since Ken's death, and I hadnt moved on.

I still cried into my pillow over my imagination's mention of my brother's corpse.

I sobbed whenever Dream and Ken weren't around.

But right now, despite the tears that begged to leak from my eyes, I stifled the cries that would remain unwept till the end of my time.

I wouldn't cry; not when I was surrounded by the people that could bring my life out of the dark and sow seeds of understanding in the deceived heart that lay in my chest.

And so, lettting out a shaky breath that caught only the attention of my boyfriend, I began to speak once more, repeating the question that had many variations in my mind.

"Ken, why didnt you tell me?" I settled on a broader question, one that could pertain to many things because I knew that all it could be a questioning of was something that plagued my diseased mind endlessly.

"Tell you what?" he decided to speak after a few moments of silence, his voice hazy as it always was, brutally reminding me once again that he wasnt really here.

He answered me with a question, implying that whatever I needed to know most was the thing he would answer the most truthfully.

No one else could hear him.

It was a free stage.

And I was handing him the mic, at last.

"Why didnt you tell me you had a... life," The word feels heavy on my tongue, weighing down my words with meaning and dangling something I knew my brother wished for in front of his face. "...outside of the house?" I finish exasperatedly, ignoring the cringe I got from my brother at the uttering of his desire and the looks of shock that were shared by the two others in the room.

"I had a boyfriend..." He smiles, reminiscing as Astro had done moments prior. I roll my eyes, too upset to gawk at his fluffy demeanor.

"And I had a job... many different jobs, actually."

I understood that the many jobs he was speaking of had nothing to do with employment, but were heavily based on his morals as my older brother.

The mere fact alone sent my eyes to the ground as though I was a small boy again, getting reprimanded gently for breaking a plate.

"I know." was all I could whisper.

"You couldnt have known." Ken says, looking at me earnestly.

"But I would've liked to." I say.

Somehow, Ken and I shared a bond to where we could read in between the lines, the pages of our speech sounding cryptic to most as the formulation of our words was meant to say a lot in very little time.

It was another thing I was grateful for, being able to communicate more than most in the little time we were spared before his demise.

Alright, peeps, I'm about to be busy for a little while, so I dont have much time for an A/N

However, I can wish you a happy day/night/evening/morning/afternoon/noon/midmorning/midnight/dusk/dawn (i think that's all)

I hope you enjoyed the several chapters I released today as today was one of my less focused days and I kinda worry that I did a shit job at writing the chapters.

Anyway, that doesn't matter.

Go eat something and drink a bottle of pink Gatorade (the only one that's good)

Also, I'll be attempting fan art of Astro and Ken soon, but idk if it'll be trash or if I'll post it.

If you guys have fanart for this book, I would love to see it.

Much luv 🫶

Im always here if you need me, i care about you all.

Diosa, out