It Wasnt My Fault (DNF)

Part 2: Chapter 43

George pov

I was laying with Clay with his arms wrapped around me, enjoying his drowsy presence in my restless state.

I lay in bed content, but not tired.

I was so at ease.

Clay and I had been going to school for about a week and a half now, and we were doing better.

Better.

Nothing could be better than this.

I hadnt seen Ken in so long, but strangely, I didn't miss his presence.

I knew one day I would miss this, though.

I frown.

Where did that come from?

Clay had promised he was going to stay.

He promised he wasn't going to die.

Why didnt I trust that?

It felt like I'd trusted it a few days ago... right?

I look up into his face, his shaggy hair draped in dark blue light falling into his peaceful face, the moonlight making his skin paler than a ghost.

I gasp.

He looked dead.

I burrow my face into his shoulder, feeling a lump rise in my throat.

I had no reason to be scared.

And yet I was.

It was the only feeling I could rid myself of.

Fear.

And it followed me everywhere, plagued even the happiest of my moments with Clay.

I always found myself fearing his demise, even as he smiled at me. I was always paranoid, training myself to look for danger that followed us and that might take the blonde away from me.

Even as we rode rented bikes over bridges in the city, I found myself wondering if a fall from that height would be fatal.

When we were at the pharmacy for his anxiety meds, I found myself stressing about how much he would need to overdose for his life to end.

An arm moved against my back as my sniffles were heard throughout the room, quiet in their existence but waking the blonde nonetheless.

"Hey, darling, what's up? Why're you awake?" he says, yawning.

I curse myself as I attempt to stop the tears from flowing onto his shirt, wetting his shoulder.

"And... crying? Babe, what's wrong?" he asks, holding me tighter.

"N-nothing..." I say, my lie hanging obviously in the air after my skills of deception being out of practice for so long.

I sigh. "Please, just... can you talk to me? I need to hear your voice... for as long as I can"

I can feel him smile against my head, his mouth softly ghosting my scalp as my hair covers his lower face.

"Of course, darling."

He readjusts, pulling me with him as he sits up against the headboard, leaving me sitting in his lap as his fingers comb through my hair slowly.

"Well, uhm, we've been going to school for about a week now... it's been my first time being in high school believe it or not." he says, making me sit up to look him in the eye, incredulous at the reveal.

"Wait, really?" I say, trying to find a hint of humor in his pupils as he speaks his next words.

"My childhood kinda got in the way of my schooling to be honest." he says, shrugging as though it was nothing.

Was it nothing?

His mention of the past hung heavily in the air between us, coating our silence with an unease neither of us enjoyed.

I lay back down atop his chest.

"Tell me more." I spoke sparingly, leaving room for him to elaborate about his childhood or continue his monologue of random facts.

"My birthday is coming up in about a week." he says, once again catching me off guard.

"It is!" The words I spoke weren't a question, but a relapse of realization ending in a poop of guilt lacing my intestines.

I'd forgotten his birthday.

I needed to shop.

I was stressing.

"Holy, Clay! Your birthday is coming up!" I say, whispering more so to myself than the one whose name I uttered.

"Yeah, it is." He smiles. "Did you forget?"

"Yes, dumbarse!" I say, hitting his chest gently. "With so much shit going on in the last couple weeks, it would be expected that I forgot it was so soon!"

He laughs, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter.

"It's alright. You actually dont have to do anything for my birthday but be there." he says.

I shoot him an unimpressed glare. "That sounds so sad." I deadpan.

"No, what I mean is, just having someone there to acknowledge my birthday would be great. I just want you there with me like no one else has been before."

Every time I hear about my boyfriend's childhood, my heart breaks for him.

This time is no different; I fling myself into his arms, tears welling up in my eyes once more at the prospect of such a beautiful souls having to be crushed by whatever traumas he carried with him.

He was always so supportive, so kind, so sweet. Why did he have to be punished?

Why did the best people have to die?

We laid in bed and cuddled for hours, until our alarm attempted to awaken us from our closed of stupor of comfort.

I feel bad... for a number of reasons.

1) update today was later than usual and its all because I wanted to play bedwars and listen to Taylor Swift

2) I feel like I'm setting you guys up with all this almost-happy stuff and normalcy, knowing the end of this book will be devastating

3) this chapter was so short! I feel like I'm giving you guys less than you bargained for!

And for all this, I'm sorry.

I'll keep posting today, but I might get pretty busy soon.

Ily guys!

Youre all my favorites!

921 pathetic words