It Wasnt My Fault (DNF)

Part 2: Chapter 35

George pov (dreams just being neglected rn)

My anger subsided at the words Astro spoke.

My fiery need to murder slowed to a dim simmer at the telling of his story.

The vengeance burning inside burned down to a small glowing ember in the pile of ashes that was my life.

But sometimes, it was only the ember than was needed in the hearth of an uncovered injustice that would get the fire of rage rekindled.

And, by gods, at my realization that my brother's murderer was sitting across from my, did my vendetta for that man burn bright once more.

We sat in an easy silence, Clay continuing to hold my hand underneath the weighted blanket that held me captive, Astro smiling softly at something I was not privy to, but I lay seething.

And so, with my silent anger, I allowed my voice to exit my chest in a hiss.

"But you didnt save him." My voice was a whisper, but just the small sound of it on the air was enough to turn the empty space between the three of us cold and stiff, smothering our mouths with the venomous breeze that flowed lazily from my open window.

"What?" Gods did I hate the American accent that wrapped around the sandy-haired man's voice, so plain and flat, seeming to be Incapable of any genuine emotion.

"You..." I say once more, beginning to writhe suddenly in the blanket, being empowered with the sight of my prey. "Didnt save him."

I was free, and I leapt.

My hand slipped roughly our of Dream's astonished hold, and I pounced onto Astro, punching him in his jaw roughly and landing on top of him on the ground.

"You set him up for his doom and went after your captor instead of saving him from his death." I scream, no longer acknowledging what was a quiet time of remorse and mourning.

I didnt care right now.

I was sick of mourning.

I wanted Astro to feel pain.

Pure pain.

I didnt care how much he would've thought he's been in pain these past two years.

Too many people thought that a man's lover grieved more than thier sibling, more than their parent.

Ken didnt have a parent, but he had me.

And I gave a damn about him.

I knew damn well early on what pain was.

And I knew damn well how much pain Ken had been in.

In this moment, the inside of my body was at peace with my brother's death. For the first time in so, so long, I felt okay.

I was okay.

However, the outside of my body screamed fury.

My arms were tense, delivering blow after blow in quick succession.

My legs were planted firmly on the sides of one of Ken's legs, steady and keeping me grounded.

But the rest of me was shaking. I was shaking, unable to stay sill with the amount of rage I was finally able to release.

Every single scowl I'd ever given someone was delivered to Astro at a rapid pace, the seconds pacing buy in a blur as each one of my expressions showed on my face like a compilation of photos.

And then, knowing that as much as I could beat my brother's boyfriend, it would never truly portray the amount of strain I'd been under.

As I gazed at Astro with a new light in my eyes, no longer painted with red, I took him in, but felt no remorse.

His face was bruised.

His nose was bloody.

His hands were shaking.

Did they shake, I wondered offhandedly, when he killed his boss?

This may have been the most pain he'd ever felt.

And that would have been a problem.

It was a problem because, by proxy, the hurt his wounds caused him didnt cause close to the amount I'd suffered with at the death of the only one I had.

Astro, despite his admittedly shit life, couldnt use his backstory as an excuse for his not saving my brother.

He couldnt argue that his actions were justified by a childhood that didnt come close to how fucked up mine was.

His younger brother was killed, and I felt sadness for Astro's younger self. How old was the little boy he'd lost.

How lost did the youthful version of the sandy-haired male feel?

He couldnt have known that Viper would respond so vexingly.

But he could have known, in the moment Ken had told him about his shared knowledge of Astro's gang, that my brother was in danger.

He could have known, that with Ken knowing about the gang, he would be killed.

He could have instinctually known that Ken needed help.

He could have saved my brother.

I didnt cry as the man in front of me did.

I felt no bit of the remorse that was shining in the blue eyes staring at me.

I was a sixteen-year-old boy who had lived through more than most had experienced in their more mature lives.

And I had just beaten the shit out of my brother's associated murderer.

I felt a small smile quirk phsychotically in the corner of my mouth.

I didnt want to unleash the grin that was so desperately fighting to shine down on the injured male in front of me.

I wasnt a monster.

But I was free.

I felt light.

Everything felt so... light.

The darkness of my bedroom never felt so bright.

The small amount of bloodstains that painted my white nuckles had never felt so right.

And so, keeping myself as humane as I felt, I knelt to the floor, smiling softly at my newfound breath of fresh air, looking at the neutral face that stared back.

Once more, I felt everything.

But it was different this time; i felt everything I'd longed to feel since my brother had died.

Happiness, freedom, joy, innocence...

And so I smiled, a little wider now, and I spoke.

"I hate you," I say, speaking as truthfully as I can. "But I respect that it wasnt your fault. At least not completely."

And with that, it all slips away, and I feel nothing.

I stand up, wiping my hands on my pants as I became conscious of how disgusting I felt and in need of a shower I was, and I walked out of the room with the ghost of Ken's hand on my shoulder.

Alright, that was relatively fun.

It was long, but were nearing Ken's flashback time! YAY!

Luv you all.

Please be patient with uploads, as they MIGHT get inconsistent. I'm dealing with a lot of stuff rn and I'm really stressed.

I will upload as much as I possibly can, bc it makes me really happy seeing you guys comment.

Have a good day/night/evening/morning/afternoon/midmorning/midnight/dusk/dawn

Upload when I can.

(Also, I've started drawing Kastro fan art as a pastime lol)

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