TWO DISTANT HEARTS

CHAPTER 4

I woke up to the sound of rain and thunder.  It was 9 so in time, I say in time so at least mom wouldn't have started screaming because I sleep too much.  I freshened up and went to the kitchen to help mom to make breakfast, she strangely wasn't awake yet so I decided to start preparing it because they'd wake up any moment now.  Unfortunately, I think they were tired so I had breakfast alone and went to my room to work on the project for the university which was about climate change.  I was working when Izma's words came to my mind "Ezal think about it, you need a good psychologist", she had a psychologist dad so she knew many people in that profession.  But did I really need a psychologist?  Yes, I admit that I want to scream what i brought inside, I want a person to sit in front of me and I cry in front of that person and without me saying anything, this person understands my every problem and solves everything for me.  "You're already awake", said mom bringing me to my senses, yes yes mom I also already had breakfast, "Why so early?", I wouldn't say early I woke up at 9 and now it's half past 10 so you're in time for breakfast, "Prepare breakfast for your dad while I'm taking a shower", okey now i ma--, I was still finishing when mom said "Don't make excuses and get up because after that your dad has to go to some uncles house", and she left, her words had broken me, shattered me to pieces from the inside, I got up wanting a wonderful weekend and I went to the kitchen.  I set on fire  his tea to brew and in the meantime I prepared the traditional breakfast of Pakistan.  Everything was ready except the tea which would have taken another two minutes, I was keeping an eye on that when I thought again of Izma's words, even if I said yes to the psychologist, mom and dad would never have given me permission and then there are so many other reasons why i can't get a psychologist.  I hate making such difficult choices in life, I never know which one is the right one, but I know that for the most part I am wrong, I am wrong in making decisions and I am afraid of my own choice.  "Ezal, breakfast is ready", said dad from the living room, yes yes dad I'll bring it now.  In my hurry I also burned my hand but since dad was in a hurry I served him breakfast first and then I went to heal my hand.  I was applying the cream to my hand when I thought how lucky those girls are who have a husband, boyfriend or fiancé who loves them so much, I wish I had a man next to me right now healing my hand saying, "Be careful, I care about you and it hurts me to see you suffer".  Ezal  back from the world of fairy tales, I said to myself and went back to the kitchen to fix it and then continued with my studies for the whole afternoon. 
In the evening, Izma called me to find out some information about the project.  "Asslaaslam o alikum, how are you, is everything ok? You didn't argue today did you", Well,  tell me about you, Hahaha don't worry after I argued with mom you are the first person I come to annoy, "In fact, I was asking why you hadn't given me any new all day so I was getting worried, maybe something more serious had happened", don't worry, the situation here is under control, what did you want to ask me for the project, "Don't I understood how many slides he wants and then we have to excite the source from here we get the news, that is, you mention it?", yes yes, I mention everything, better something more than less and then for the slides it depends on how much you manage to present in half an hour, I've done 15 slides, i still have to time myself to see how long it takes, the science professor is also very punctual he won't let us exhibit even for a second more so it's better little and complete.  "Top better, this way I'll get on with things, thanks, tell me if you've paid attention to what I told you yesterday", I Izma don't know, I'm sure I need it but I don't know how to convince the parents, "Don't worry about them, I'll take care of them, you tell me what your heart says", I don't want to talk about this topic on the call..., "So tomorrow I'll see you for breakfast since we have to start work at 10 we'll go to the bar to do this famous breakfast!", I have to ask mom's permission first, she won't let me go I'm sure, then she'll get angry uff..."Oii partner, stay calm, tell her you're going to have breakfast with Izma and see that she won't tell you anything ", no no I think, in fact I'm sure she'll yell at me a lot, I'm not trying, I'll tell you, "You try, then we'll see what to do with her answer, I want an answer within a few hours", I can't uff Izma what anxiety you put me, "I'm doing it for you, because if you keep thinking that you lose the discussion then you'll never go on in life, you'll give up even before starting Ezal", okay mom!  as you say, "Here good, listen to my advice and don't think that you are doing something illegal, because when you have evil plans in mind I am the first to stop because I know it is wrong but in this case I only care about yours physical and mental health", you care so much about me," No no, I just want you to be with me until the end of university, I don't care about you, don't think this", it's ok my stupid now I'm going in war so pray for me, let's see if I come out victorious, "Go my lioness I believe in you, see you later".  I reflected on this for more than ten minutes and in conclusion I decided to take this step, I joined my mother, mom I have to go to work at 10 tomorrow so Izma and I thought we would go and have breakfast, "what a shame Ezal, indeed disappointment, I'm ashamed of what I taught you", mom but there is also your favorite Izam, no one will eat us, after breakfast and we will reach our destinations," Ezal as you already know you can't go around with anyone, it has nothing to do with it Izma or not but you just can't", mom though..."I regret the fact that when I die you will do whatever you want and you won't think about it on not even once time. Remember that outside you are Mr. Mohammad's daughter", mom I know , I know I can never forget this, and how can I if you repeat it to me every single day uff look mom I'm going to pray that's the only thing I can do to calm down and I'm back in my room. I knew she would say no but i hate from the heart when she stars to say "i will die and you will do this, that is blab blah..", ufff i bump these words, why must she think so negatively, i texted izma no and continued working on the project until the end of the evening.