TWO DISTANT HEARTS

CHAPTER 30

Izma, after your Nikah and eid , finally I will be able to meet Aahil, I don't believe it, "I know, I'm super happy for you two, did you say that to Aahil or not yet?", well not yet, I wanted to confirm for the tickets and then tell him, "What  confirmation! Say it now, in today live , he will be super happy indeed he will no longer be able to control his emotions", I know, he will be over the moon after hearing this news, but the thing that makes me crazy with joy is that you and Arsalan will also be with us on the trip, "It will be our first trip together partner", In fact Imza, and it will also be your first trip with your husband, "It's true, you know I didn't have thought", hahahaha, Eid is in three days, have you prepared something yet?, "Nothing, because this year my eid will come from my in-laws house", o my goodness what a careless!  We are also preparing your Edi, it's just enough for me Hahaha, but you have already decided something for the mehndi (henna), "Nah nothing about that, but anyway let's book a girl and go to her, like I always did", hmm good idea, "Now I'm going I have one last chemistry lesson", ok I'm done for today so now I'm going home and rest, I'm completely destroyed these days, "Okay partner bye!", bye my friend .  After saying goodbye, I left to reach the bus stop as I have always done every day.  I was sitting waiting for my bus, I was focused on my phone when I heard a baby crying, I quickly looked up to find a little girl crying across the street.  I immediately crossed the street to reach her, ehiii love what happened? "I dropped my ice cream", she said crying and with words that weren't entirely clear, where's your mom? "She is inside the shop and I went out because I couldn't eat the ice cream inside", how old are you?, "Six, now my mum will scolds me a lot", she said crying more, no love, don't cry, how about if we take another ice cream now and your mum will not scold you no more, "I don't have money", she said rubbing his eyes to wipe away the tears, don't worry, now let's go to the ice cream parlor here and get your ice cream.  The ice cream parlor was next to the shop where her mother was, I didn't understand why her mother didn't care about her, how can she leave a six year old girl out like this... I didn't have bad intentions but if I hadn't been there it could have so bad happen.  "Ohh you're back again", said the girl in the ice cream parlor to the little girl, a little accident happened so now we're here to pick up the ice cream, what flavor do you want?, "Chocolate and strawberry", the girl in the ice cream parlor was about to prepare the  ice cream when the little girl said "I want it to be the same as first, the chocolate first and then the strawberry" and the girl in the ice cream parlor did just as the little girl said, but to me it all seemed strange very strange.  In the end we left the ice cream parlor, it had taken us about three minutes no more, and the little girl's mother hadn't left the shop yet.  What's your name baby?, "Clara, thanks for the ice cream", don't worry, I hope your mum won't scold you now, "Now I have to be more careful", why did you want it identical to the first one?, "So my mom didn't notice that the first one fell off and that you bought me a new one", what if
did she notice?  "She would be very angry and yell at me" she said as she ate her ice cream, she was little so she didn't know what to say and what not, I was just curious to know, Clara, you're so good why would she yell at you?, "I don't know, mom says I make a lot of trouble so, I don't think I'm good", she said looking at me, how can such a little girl say that, why her mother had  put in her head this and now she will grow up with the thought that she can't do anything , Clara but instead you seem very good, and pretty, "Thanks, maybe mom thinks this of me too", surely she thinks this, how can she scold you if she has such a pretty little girl, "Thanks", she said smiling and looking at me and in return I smiled at her too, meanwhile I saw her mother so I greeted her and in the meantime my bus arrived too.
I arrived home, I had already done iftary, everything was done but there was still an hour left until the live.  Something kept bugging me since I met Clara, I felt so weird and strange that I texted Aahil that I wouldn't be live today.  I couldn't get the thought of Clara out of my head, why she was so terrified, my head was flooded with thoughts of my past moments at her age.  To relax a bit I went to sleep, I really couldn't stand it anymore, everything was bothering me like that something was missing in me, something I lost.
I woke up to the sound of the call.  "Hey honey are you okay?" said Aahil worried, yes yes I'm okay, "Are you sure?", hmm hmm I'm fine are you fine too?, "Did something happen?", no nothing, don't worry, "How can I not worry , you don't tell me the problem and you're not even well", Aahil, relax I'm fine, "I'll give you five minutes put the nikab on and then I'll make you a video call", Aahil...I'm fine I'm telling you, "Quick because I want to see you immediately", uff you're stubborn..give me five minutes then,"Yes I'm stubborn, especially when you're not well".  "Asslam o alikum, now tell me everything", Wa alaikum salam Aahil, I said making myself comfortable...."I know you too well so I know that something happened, you are worrying me...I want to know immediately what is going through your head" , Aahil, what will I do with you..., "Just love me..but for now tell me the problem", hmmm... basically today I met a little girl named Clara on my way home from university.  "What happened next?", I don't know but it felt very much like my childhood..."I'm listening to you continue", Hmmm Aahil, I said sighing, Clara's ice cream had fallen in fact she was crying she was six years old so she was little too.  When I reached her and we talked a bit I saw how terror was in her eyes, "Terror of what?" If I understood correctly she was afraid of her mom, at first I thought it was normal but later when I bought her a new ice cream she asked the girl in the ice cream parlor to make it identical to the one she had before.  While she was enjoying her ice cream, I asked her the reason, and she replied with the utmost calmness, saying her mother would have scolded her if she would have become aware of the fact that she had dropped the ice cream.  I talked to her for a while since her mother was in the shop, I didn't want to leave her there alone and she told me again that she's not good or intelligent and beautiful, how can a child judge herself at that age?  Aahil how can she tell me all that "At six years old it's strange to say that inefect....", it's very strange and I immediately told her that it wasn't like that and I complimented her and she tells me that she would like that her mother had told her everything I told her.  She was more mature than her age but I'm so sad  that Clara grew up thinking she wasn't capable of doing anything, since I got back I've been invaded by thoughts, I've left something of mine from that little girl, some emotion that has remained with her because I can't feel bad just thinking that Clara will end up, "Listen to me carefully, you are mirrored in Clara, but you see that someone has arrived in your life too who brought you back to life and saved you so even Calra will certainly have her moments of crisis but she will find the right person to her", I hope so, I hope she grows up happy and without too many restrictions, "May I know why did you remember your childhood?", the terror I saw in her eyes, the fear I saw, broke me and while I was on the bus I remembered one of the most difficult moments when I was a child.  I've always been good at school, I've always liked going but I didn't do very well in a subject that wasn't very important, I certainly didn't fail but I didn't get the best either.  Mom was aware of this, I was in seventh grade, I had returned home with 70% in this subject, it wasn't the mark I took home, mom got very angry, she scolded me a lot, already when I was at school I knew that all of this would happen.  In the evening she also told dad about my grade, adding that I was not really good at this subject, dad also got angry and asked me if I wanted to continue my studies...I was shocked by his question...for a 70% he was asking me if I wanted to continue my studies, everything dad had told me was an exaggerated reaction but I remember that I was very upset, so much upset that from that day until today I have never said any of my grades to them, whether it was positive or negative.  That feeling of going home and telling mum was very bad, I was terrified too just like Clara, or when I was even younger I went to elementary school and a strange but quite normal cause happens.  A boy of my same age so about 7 years old who gave me a small note with written on it that he liked me, I hadn't even seen that note but when mom was preparing my backpack and saw it, ufff Aahil I get the chills just to think, she told me she would tell dad, i feel like it was yesterday i was begging her not to tell dad, i had cried so much in front of her, i was too young so i was sure she would say it instead thinking about it now I realize there was no point in crying because she would never tell dad.  "Ezal my love don't cry, think that now I'm next to you forget about everything past", i can cry beacuse i know you are never going to judge me, so i can just say my heart out, "Anyway we have to try that boy who gave you the love note", he said laughing, Hahaha Aahil, I said wiping away the tears, "Ohhh finally smile a little meri jaan (my love)", I just wanna tell you thank you for coming into life, thank you for actually making me smile and laugh, thank you for being so understanding, thank you for being my biggest supporter, thank you for asking me if I'm okay when I seem off, thank you for making everything so good when I'm around you in live.  I really appreciate you so much, more than I'll ever be able to show you.  "Can I ask you something", of course, "What made you realize that you love?", when I cry in sujood being Allah to make you mine, "Ufff tumhary ye bathe (uff these words of yours)", I know. "Mery jaa (my love) now I have an appointment I have to leave in 10 minutes", it's ok Aahil, thank you so much for making me happy thank you from the bottom of my heart, "I love you so much and I can't see you sad, always smile maya" , hmm alright Aahil see you tomorrow, "See you tomorrow love take care of you".