TWO DISTANT HEARTS

CHAPTER 6

It was late at night when I woke up out of nowhere, neither i was scared nor i had a nightmare.  I tried to sleep afterwards but today was like this , inside me I had a strange feeling, I was happy very happy and enthusiastic.  Mom always told me that when you feel this feeling of happiness for no reason then it means that someone is praying for you. I tried to understand the reason for my happiness but I didn't have the faintest idea... I started on the bed thinking when the psychologist came to mind.  What would I say to him, what should I talk about, how anxious all this made me feel, I'm good at talking but I suck at expressing my feelings, who knows if he will understand what I mean, who knows if he will understand and will have a solution of my problems.  Why do I have to fuss right now, why do I think so much why am I complicating my own life ufff I have to take a break from my own thoughts if I want to have a peaceful life.  I wanted to do a google search of the psychologist, maybe there was some information but later if mom woke up and she saw me with the phone she would get very angry so better not to risk it.  I hope I make a good impression in front of him, I hope I don't disappoint anyone's hopes... Allah help me and get me out of this stress.  Today the sleep was really gone for me, I had a new feeling in my heart, like I was waiting for someone or bhoo, my heart was sure of what was going to happen even if I didn't know anything about the future, I thought a lot about what could happen or if there was some particular day in the next week, but on the timetable in the diary I hadn't marked any news so why am I getting so excited as if tomorrow were Eid (day after Ramazan) Ezal recover and come to your senses!
The sound of messages on the phone woke me up, I was a very unstable sleeper, I woke up with a small sound anyway it was messages from the bank group, which I ignored early in the morning.  I went out, mom had already prepared all the breakfast and right at the table she spoke to my father about the psychologist.  "How come this choice Ezal", said dad, eh dad I think that to stay healthy you always need to have a few rounds from a skilled person, I said the first words that came to mind, I didn't know what reason to give, "But are you sure of your choice?", yes yes dad very sure, "Okay then if you're ready then we don't mind", thanks dad thanks a lot to you too mom.  The problem wasn't dad but the mom.... I still can't believe how Izma managed to convince my mother, it's one of the impossible things but she always knew how to convince her.  After noon, after having lunch, tidying up the kitchen and praying, I went to contact the psychologist.  From the number Izma had given me, it had put a voicemail saying I should send an email and wait for an answer.  To write those 4 lines, it took me a lot to insert the right words, I wanted to make myself understood but in a few lines, after less than half an hour that I had sent the request, I received the acceptance email.  Tomorrow Monday at 20pm I had the first online meeting with the psychologist, I was happy because I could finally say what I really think about someone and then I'm very happy with the way he answered me, even if they were written words you could notice the delicacy in those words and sincerity in encouraging.  I couldn't wait to start a new path, yes I admit that I'm super agitated but in life I have to try everything and having anxiety is a good sign it means that I care about what I'm going to do.