TWO DISTANT HEARTS

CHAPTER 9

It had already been more than a week and a half since I had started my sessions with the psychologist.  By now, both of us were much less formal with each other, he had told me that there was a need to increase the time so I no longer do it in the hour but an hour and a half always for the whole week.  I learned various things in these sessions, such as having control over my emotions, how to manage a panic attack or how to manage stress.  After each session with the psychologist, I told Izma every single detail.  Now I'm on my way home, I have to walk the way because I missed the bus and all this because of those stupid university stairs.  I had finished my lessons and when I was going down the stairs I tripped and for this reason my foot hurt so I couldn't get to the bus stop in time and now I have to walk half an hour.  I called mom to warn her but she doesn't answer me, maybe her phone is dead or maybe she's not at home I don't know... I just know that my job was to call her.  Asslam or alikum, mom I'm at home, "Ezal, where's your phone?", give me time to enter in  the house and then I'll answer you, "I've been calling you back for half an hour", the phone is in my backpack, I haven't heard it ringing and then I hurt my foot so I wouldn't have been able to answer anyway, "And now what have you done to your foot?", she said in a huff, I hurt myself as I went down the stairs, "Why don't you pay attention on what are you doing, who were you thinking about EH!", mom today explain to me what you mean with these phrases!, I came home in pain and you tell me this, " You know what I mean!", then good is if that's what I think, then I'm ashamed of you, you think I will ever have a relationship, mom look! I'm in pain I go to the room, than I also have the meeting. "If there was nothing then you would have stayed here to answer me", I didn't pay attention to what she said and I went into the room, because of her I didn't even have the time to reciprocate or do anything else so I sat down on the  desk and waited for Aahil to enter.  "Asslam o alikum", he said very happy to see me again, Wa alaikum salam, I replied with my always voice, "So Ezal, tell me about your day, I'm curious", hmmm look it was a useless strange day, I got foot hurt I missed the bus and in addition I also had to hear the scoldings from my mother, I finished the sentence crying, "Hey Hey, what bothered you about what mother said to you?", he asked by now he knew me too well, he knew that I wouldn't have cried for a pain or for having lost something but what made me feel bad was my mother's attitude, her words kill me from inside.  Mom, by now she's like this... instead of asking me if I was okay, she asks me 'who you were thinking about when you went down the stairs'.  Aahil but what does it mean, that is me.. I don't know any boy I have no relationship with any man, I don't even have a boy's number, I have badly 7 contacts on my phone so why does mom say that in everything?  ,"Ezal you have to ask mom this, you have to be brave and ask her this question and you will see that when you tells her that you don't know anyone, you have no relationship which she knows but she repeats it only to remind you, you will see that she will regret her words and she'll stop saying that", Aahil I don't want th--, "I know you don't want mom to repent or mom to be wrong but sadly Ezal you have to believe it, what your mom does to protect you is fine up to a some point later it becomes heavy", but I Aah-- and I collapsed in tears again, excuse me wait for me to take a handkerchief ," Indeed, take a handkerchief or your whole nikab will get wet", he said making me laugh.  Since I was cleaning my eyes, I also put on glasses, I should always wear glasses but I don't wear them because I don't like them but I really need them because soon I won't see anymore.  I approached the camera after I took the handkerchief, "Here, this is the last time I see you crying" he said almost scolding me, we hope i answered at the beginning as I was putting on my glasses, "But do you wear glasses?", yes I don't see very well so I have to wear them, " We've been seeing each other for almost two weeks and you've never worn them", I don't like them, " From now on I want you to wear glasses and I don't want to see tears on those beautiful big black eyes again," I was a little embarrassed when he complimented me so I just nodded.  "We will also overcome that problem together now tell me a little about what you did at university, give me some happiness, look, I'm curious and also a lot so you have to talk a lot", well university in this period is becoming more demanding because I have so many orals, exams and therefore managing it becomes difficult, then there is also work, is difficult to manage, everything , events , meetings,projects to complete, assemblies and everything, even that tires me, and then anyw--, "And then there is also the psychologist which is a tiring too but I have to follow the same", he said interrupting me, no not at all the evening is my favorite part, I can finally relax and talk to someone who really wants to hear from me, even if in my opinion you too must have gotten tired of my usual speeches but it's your job so you have to do it, oppsss wait for me to pick it up.  While I was talking I was holding my bracelet, he had told me to hold something in my hand so as to stress less, but in my picking I hit my head against the desk.  Haaaiiiiiaa, I said and at the same time as I yelled he said: "Bismillah, dehan se na! Dehan kidr hai apka"( Bismillah, be careful! Pay attention to what you are doing), ek to muje laghi hai upar se tum dant rahe ho (I got stoned and you are even scolding me), I said massaging my head, " Zada ​​to nhi laghi?" (You didn't hurt yourself so much, did you?), no no nothing serious, don't worry, "Relax kese hu ...wakhe hi kuch nhi hua na apko?"(how can I be calm...you really didn't get hurt right?", Aahil kya ho ghaya hai kuch nhi hua muje or please muje "tum" keh ke baht karo (Aahil, what happened, I'm fine I wasn't hurt and then please don't be so formal), "You have to be careful on what you do, I had a stroke", but... okey, I didn't know  that you also knew how to speak Urdu (Pakistan's official language), "I'm also half Pakistani, it's my first language, I know Turkish instead because I was born here, I've always studied and worked here", nice it's really lucky to know all these languages.  Now goodbye, I've already stressed you for 15 more minutes, "Alrea--?, I mean alright then see you tomorrow, take care of yourself and apply some cream on your foot or else until tomorrow morning it will swell", ok well I'll do this, it's already night for me it's 22:15 perhaps there in Turkey ... indeed what time is it there?  "Wait, I'll tell you right now, emm ehmm here it's her 8:15", what!  So it's morning for you, did you just wake up?  How strange to hear this, "Oh yes I woke up about three hours ago and the first client was you", okey okay then I'm going to sleep and I'll let you work. "See you tomorrow"