"Since you don't know how to shut your fucking mouth, I'll fill it with my cum to shut you up," Kol seethes, looking down at me like I was dirt on his shoe.
I loved the way it made me feel. The way he made me feel. He looked at me like I was a whor...
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If someone told me that in my junior year of college, I would get the life put in me and then sucked back out, I would've called them crazy.
I was always focused. I promised I would put my education first, make sure I get a good job, and then I would see if the opportunity came. See if I could meet the right one.
But, then I met her.
The moment I laid eyes on her in that club. Dancing the night away. With such a free spirit about her...it drew me in.
Then I got to know her. I started to like her. I fell in love with her.
And then she left me and took my life force with her.
I didn't even realize how quickly I became dependent on her. How much I needed her to breathe.
It's been almost a year. And I'm a mess. My life is a mess. I've been a mess. I've ghosted all of my friends. I didn't even start speaking to my siblings until around four months ago.
The only consistent things in my life were school and thinking about her.
"Kol, you're out of milk," Anthony calls from the kitchen.
I've been laying in bed all day. I get these days sometimes. When I can't even get out of bed. I haven't had it in a few months, but it's the first week of school.
There's a high chance of running into her. I couldn't bear it. Anthony's heavy footsteps barrel toward my room.
He pushes my door open. "Kol, it's almost 3. Don't you think it's time to get up?"
I roll over and look at him. "You're the one who came into my place. If you don't like what I'm doing, you can see yourself out."
He rolls his eyes. "Dude, I've been into my fair share of girls and no girl is worth all of this."
"That's because you are a manwhore with no morals," I grumble. Anthony fake gasps.
"Brother! How dare yo--" I throw a pillow at him to shut him up.
"Seriously though, Kol. It's been a long ass time since this chick broke your heart. I bet she's out there living her best life while you're sitting here moping around over nothing."
"It's not nothing," I spit. "She's not nothing. She's everything. She's my whole world and now she's gone."
Anthony sighs and sits down next to me. "I don't know how to comfort you, I've never been through this. Maybe Amanda would be better at this."
"Get the fuck out of here, you asshat!" I yell.
"Kol, I'm being serious. You're letting your past haunt and take over your future. It is your last year of college and you're sitting here hauled up in your quiet ass apartment," Anthony explains.
I grumble and look away. I didn't want to hear it. Because if I hear it...I might realize he's right.
"Anthony, you wouldn't understand. I can't explain it and I can't get over it. So, please...just leave me alone," I mumble.
Anthony lets out a deep breath. "I'm just saying...you shouldn't continue to live like this. You deserve better."
Anthony leaves my bedroom and a minute later, I hear my front door close. I snuggle against my bed and think about her. Think about my Maya.
"Kol, I can't see anything. When can I take off this blindfold?" Maya says, gripping my shirt.
Ever since we left the car and started walking, she couldn't let go of me. She was scared, but she trusted me enough to put on a blindfold and go to an unknown location.
I hold her waist steadily and guide her to the pier. "In a second, sweetheart. We're almost there."
I continue to walk with her to the amusement park and she slightly stumbles, but I grab her quickly. Her grip tightens around my forearm and she sinks her fingers into me.
I seeth slightly at the sensation. I swoop her into my arms and her hands loop around my neck. "I see you got a little tired of me," she chuckles.
I smile at her smile. One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. "I don't think I could ever get tired of you."
After carrying her in front of the amusement park, I set her down. I gently take off her blindfold and watch her eyes twitch, trying to adjust to the new lighting.
Her eyes quickly adjust and then dazzle at the sight in front of her. "Kol! How did you know I've always wanted to go to an amusement park?"
I chuckle at her cuteness. "I talked to Angela about a couple of things. I can't believe you've never been to an amusement park."
She frowns slightly. "Perks of being a St. Martin. Aureila thinks it's a common thing to do."
I rub my hands over her arms. "Don't frown. Let's not focus on that, let's focus on our date."
"Also..." I turn her slightly to the edge of the pier where three boats are lined up. "When we're done with the amusement park, we're going to go there for the night."
I look at her face as she takes in the sight. How her eyes were big like saucers and dazzled in the sunlight. Her plump lips were drawn out into a wide smile. She looked happy. She looked genuinely happy.
She turns around and brings me into a kiss. A different kiss. A special kiss. A kiss that makes me want to shout off the rooftops and carry her in my arms forever. It made me realize I didn't want to ever let her go.
I loved her. I fell in love with her. And I knew I was screwed. But, at that moment I didn't care. I've fallen in love with Maya Anneliese St. Martin and I wasn't apologizing for it.
And I still wouldn't. One of many memories floods inside my head. I'm still very much in love with Maya Anneliese St. Martin and I don't think I'll ever fall out.
She was it for me.
And now I've lost her forever.
A knock on my door startles me out of my thoughts. I think about getting up, but I don't bother. Another knock. If I wait long enough, they'll go away.
Another knock. Then silence. My phone rings. I look at the caller ID and roll my eyes before answering it.
"Koly, answer your bloody door. I've been standing out here for ages," Neaveh says, annoyed. "And don't try to play me, I know you're home."
