Pyaar Se: An Innings At Love

52. calm & chaos

"Sometimes, somethings don't have
to make sense."

Naman's P.O.V.

In the next two matches, we were faced with defeat. One against Sri Lanka and the other one against Australia.

Four matches. We had lost four fucking matches, consecutively. My performance in the last two games was poor. In the first one, I made seven runs before I got stumped and in the second, I made three runs. Just three runs in which one ball was wide. And no catches by me, none at all.

What is wrong with me?

It's been three days since I had locked myself in the room. I went out for practice, team meetings and nothing else. I was staying by myself in the hotel room. No phone, no laptop, nothing.

Just me and all the voices inside my head.

Tick, tick, tick.

The ticking of the clock was the only sound in the room but the voices inside my head were stronger, louder and they messed with my brain in a way nothing else ever has.

I'm not fit to be in the team.

This is end of my career.

I'm letting my country down.

The team deserves a better captain.

I-

Knock, knock.

The voices paused. Paused- because I know they're not going to leave, they'll come back once I'm done talking to whoever is on the other side of the door.

I got up and unlocked the door, upon opening it I found Hardik. Worry lines occupied his forehead, he looked tensed.

Something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" I wasted no time and asked him.

"Natasha called..." he took a pause, "People have been throwing stones and burning your cut outs right outside of your house."

I froze.

Kriti. Fuck, she's all alone.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"We h-"

I hurried into my room, towards my suitcase and I grabbed my switched off phone from it. I quickly switched it on and dialled Kriti's number.

"The number you are trying to reach is currently switched off. Please try again later."

Fuck.

What do I do now? Arjun.

I called Arjun in less than a second and to my relief, he picked it up.

"Naman?" He sounded confused.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked in a low tone.

"Tell you what?" His response only angered me further.

"Don't play with me, Arjun. You know what I'm talking about! Why didn't you inform me about the situation back home?" I tried my best not to lose it. But I was damn fucking close.

"Kriti asked me not to." What the fuck?

He continued, "It's your first World Cup as a captain, she didn't want to bother you."

"Where is she?" My jaw clenched.

"Wait." I looked at Hardik, gave him a nod and he left closing the door behind him. I also made a mental note to thank him later.

"Naman?" Fuck, her voice is enough to calm the storm going inside me.

The calm to my chaos.

I sat down on the floor and rested my back on the wall, my eyes closed involuntarily as the sound of her calling my name reached my ears.

"Hello?" My wife called out upon receiving no response.

"Kriti." I whispered.

I heard her sigh from the other end.

"Tell me you're not hurt." Were my next words.

"I'm not. I'm okay, don't worry. How are you?"

Even amidst all the stuff happening back at home, she's concerned about my well being. I found a diamond.

"Baby, I'm fine. Why didn't you tell me?" I needed to know.

She took a deep breath, "Naman, I know you're stressed because of the World Cup already and I didn't want to add on to that. If I had told you then you would've gotten distracted- it would've affected your game, and I don't want that. You don't want that."

"You don't get to decide that for me, Kriti. I want to know each and everything if it involves you." I replied.

Continuing, "You are my woman. I need to know if something or someone if bothering you. I am so sorry you had to go through that."

"It's not your fault." Her voice softened.

"Yes, it is. None of it would've happened if I were playing well. I don't know what's wrong with me." I confessed.

"Don't say that, baby. I know you're trying everything to bounce back on track. And in every single match, I see you putting your heart and soul to do your best. So, please don't say that it's your fault."

"Why else is all this happening, then?" I asked her.

"You're letting the voices in your head win."

"You need to believe in yourself, Naman. The only reason you're feeling what you're feeling is because you're slowly losing your faith in yourself and I won't just sit here and let that happen. Where is that confident Naman Mehra I know? Bring him back, the team needs him, the country needs him. You need him, Naman. If you could see yourself from my eyes, you'd know what a terrific player you are! You are the best, Naman, you need to keep that in mind while you're on the field from the next time." She concluded.

For a moment, I swear my heart skipped a beat. She was right, absolutely fucking right. All I needed to do was believe in myself, bring that confidence back!

"You are something else, Kriti Mehra." I spoke in disbelief.

Strange, isn't it? All I needed was a conversation with my wife to get an answer to all the questions eating my brain! This woman is, indeed, something else.

"You don't have any other option but to deal with this 'something else', now, do you?" Her tone turned playful and I could bet anything that there was a smirk playing on her beautiful face.

"I don't want to have any other option, love."

"Good." None of said anything for a while, we sat in silence- listening to each other breathing until, "Never doubt yourself, Naman, because someone else says you're not good enough. Only you know what you've been through to get where you are. And you are in this position because you were born to be there, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise."

"Yes, ma'am." If I were next to her, I would've given her a long, long kiss. The level of maturity this woman has sometimes surprises me. She makes everything so simple, so...sorted. Just listening to her voice lightens my mood.

She is like that feeling you get when you come back home after a long day of work, when the first raindrop falls on you after a long season of hot sun, when the second wave of sleeps hits you after you wake up. She is comfort in a human form and I'm so grateful to call her mine.

"You know I love you, right?" I said.

"Umm...I haven't heard it in a few days so, you might want to tell me again." I laugh, without stress, without any tension. Now, that's Kriti Mehra's magic!

"I am in love with you, Kriti Mehra." I told her.

"Good, now show me how much in the next match."

Oh, I intend to do exactly that, baby. Wait and watch!