Vacuity (Sebastian Sallow) | on pause.

Ch 6 | The Acceptance

• Ch 6 | The Acceptance •

"I will send out an army to find you,"
Lauren Daigle

Y/n's Perspective

I stood in the grass of Feldcroft once more that very evening.

It was a feeling of intense anxiety to stand in a place like this now. It felt like I wasn't supposed to be here anymore. Even my heart was beating faster as if I were standing in a danger zone.

I should've given up yesterday, but I didn't want to let go. There were too many feelings I surged all sixth year toward him, I thought they were going to waste. I wanted to see Sebastian.

"Y/n," Ominis let out from the cottage home.

I played with the ends of my long sleeve, looking down and swallowing my own saliva as I avoided looking back into the home.

"Ominis. You're here early." I murmured out at his early arrival.

Ominis listened to my words and gave a hesitant nod, "I figured you'd attempt to visit Feldcroft immediately after your last class."

I didn't know whether to take offense or act surprised at the sentence. It seemed as if it was wrong to visit now.

"You know me so well, Gaunt." I held in my throat speaking the words.

There was silence between Ominis Gaunt and I outside that entrance of the cozy home.

I felt like a child that was about to get scolded for committing something wrong.

"Why do you like torturing yourself this way, Y/n?" Ominis finally questioned with a sigh.

"I have no idea what you're referring to." I lied.

Although Ominis couldn't see, I felt intimated by his stance, making me avoid even looking toward him.

"This," Ominis said firmly, "Looking for Sebastian. He doesn't want to see you. I've told you since the beginning." He reminded.

I was hurt — that much was obvious. I wanted to fight, to argue Ominis words, but deep down, I knew there was truth to his words.

Sebastian Sallow did tell me not to come back. Not to bother him again. That he didn't need me. And yet, I was here.

"I don't think it's fair," I let out, my tone defiant.

Ominis shook hushed, "Life isn't fair."

I sighed.

"Sebastian has made it clear that he doesn't want to see you. You saw it first-hand yesterday too, so I don't understand—"

"Because I don't want to give up, Ominis! You were saying Monday how I was trying my best, now it's a bad idea? Why are you contradicting—"

"Because you're not the only one that could make the choice, Y/n," Ominis said bitterly, "Sebastian already made one. And is not to see you."

I was silent for a moment, taken aback by the sharpness of Ominis Gaunt's words. I knew he meant them. It was the Gaunt in him where he would begin to lash out if he needed to.

"I still have the right to try," I defended, "I could find a way to see him, make him listen—"

"Y/n," He said, "Enough."

I felt the sting in Ominis words. The hurt and embarrassment from the last two days, realizing I was making a fool of myself by insisting on visiting Sebastian despite his clear objections.

"No," I shook my head, "it's not making sense—"

"Y/n, I know Sebastian—"

"No," I fought, "There are things that only Sebastian and I knew." I pointed at him.

"Knew. Past tense," Ominis repeated, "Sebastian isn't the same from a year ago, please, understand that. If he was, we wouldn't even be in this position. Do you really think it doesn't hurt us as much as you to know Sebastian doesn't want to see you?"

"No, because you guys couldn't even tell me that he was out after months!"

"It was for your own good."

"For my own good?" My voice rose with surprise and hurt, "What do mean, for my own good? I just wanted to see him. I just wanted to visit and talk."

"That's exactly what I mean." Ominis ended.

I was quiet.

There were so many emotions taking over me at once. I couldn't bear it, but a choice was already made. Why do I fight for something that is no longer there?

"Just give it time. Y/n." Ominis let out between the silence, his words softer now.

I knew Ominis was trying to console me after practically giving the upper hand with the truth, but it was difficult.

"I gave it time," I let out to him, "A year. It felt like an eternity, Ominis! How could I just—"

"Well, it's better than having him still stuck in Azkaban, alright? One of you was already tortured enough. I don't need another." Ominis murmured under his breath, "Please..."

I took a breath. My head was swimming in my thoughts. A wave of denial still washed over me.

But no matter what I did, I couldn't make a difference. I couldn't change Sebastian Sallow's new mindset. I couldn't change his choices. I couldn't change the fact that he didn't want to see me.

"I'm sure Sebastian cares about you. Just give him time." Ominis sighed, "Trust us."

I wanted to trust Ominis and Anne. Especially, Anne — she was his twin sister, but Sebastian and I shared so many memories, too much trauma, and experiences. Too much. I couldn't ignore all that, and certainly, couldn't pretend it didn't exist.

"Okay." I managed to let out, the words barely more than a whisper.

Again, there was silence between us. The need to cry was there, but I was too busy processing the truth itself

"Sebastian is getting better, Y/n. I need you to know that." Ominis let out with a sympathetic tone.

There was a bit of hope within the breakage of my own heart, with the possibility that Sebastian Sallow wasn't completely lost in there.

And I held on to those words.

____

Shortest chapter yet —

Also sorry for the slow start. It was a filler short chapter, but I promise the chapters would progressively get longer and not always sad.

Thanks for reading.

Lokiniall