Random Fandom Oneshots

Petty (Jschlatt)

I walked into the living room and saw Schlatt lounging on the couch, his attention wholly focused on the phone in his hand. Our dog, Pandora, was next to him giving him the biggest puppy-dog eyes and hoping he would rub her belly. She was the biggest baby ever. Schlatt didn't show her any favoritism because she was more my dog while Jambo was more his.

As I approached the couch, Pandora's gaze shifted towards me and she lifted her paw hopefully. I felt a little bad for her. I rubbed her belly as I cooed "Oh my little baby. Who is the bestest girl? You are the bestest girl. You're my little baby puppers." I cupped her fluffy face in my hands and kissed her little head before leaving the room. Schlatt just sat there incredulously, switching between staring after me and glaring at the dog.

As I sat down at my desk to finish my work, I decided to play around with Schlatt a bit. I couldn't help but laugh to myself at what I had just done and what I was going to do. An hour later, Schlatt wandered into my office and just stood in the middle of the room. He crossed his arms across his chest and seemed to nonchalantly glance about the room. I didn't even cast a glance in his direction. I knew he expected me to give him cuddles around this time like every other day, but he needed to feel how he made poor Pandora feel. After a few minutes, he huffed and left the room, probably to go do work of his own, and I smiled to myself.

When I had finished my work, I made my way to the kitchen to make dinner. Passing Schlatt's office, I saw he had his headphones on and his back was to the door, which was perfect. This way he couldn't hear me make dinner. I made myself something small and easy and ate leaning against the island, enjoying the quiet. I did make sure to feed Pandora and Jambo before I did eat, though. As I finished up, I heard Schlatt making his way to the kitchen and freeze in the doorway, just as I gave Pandora the last bite of food on my plate. "What is going on here?" He asked. I did not answer and instead went to the sink to wash my dish. "Oh I see how it's gonna be." He said exasperatedly as he threw his hands up. He went about the kitchen to grab stuff for dinner while grumbling and muttering under his breath, shooting me dirty looks here and there.

I then decided to retreat to the bedroom and called after Pandora and Jambo to join me. "Jambo, don't you dare follow that traitor." Schlatt said in a threatening tone. The cat merely flipped his tail up and followed after, resulting in Schlatt swearing after him. I made myself comfortable on the bed with a book and a pet on either side of me. I would spend a few minutes petting one animal and then switch to the other one. Schlatt stopped by the room after a while to glare at me for a good minute before continuing on to his office to get ready to stream. Once I heard him start, I put my book down and pulled his stream up on my phone.

"What's up chat, how's everyone doing today?" He was asking as I turned the volume up a little. He seemed slightly frazzled. He listened to a few answers, nodding and fake smiling, before saying "Well that's great and all, but you wanna know how my day is going? Terrible. Absolutely terrible." He said, the fake smile immediately dropping. "And you wanna know why, chat? It's because my girlfriend is FUCKING ignoring me!" He turned away from his desk and shouted the last part in my direction. I laughed as I saw how the reactions in chat went from "Are you okay?" to "LMAO." "And get this chat." He was saying as he turned back towards the camera. "Not only has my girlfriend abandoned me, but my own fucking cat has, too." I looked down at Jambo and noticed he was purring contentedly as I petted him.

Schlatt went on to play some game, intermittently grumbling about my treatment of him. At the end of the stream, there were still some people asking him what he did to deserve this. "I swear I didn't do anything, she just randomly decided to do this. She started this when she openly made love to the dog in front of me without giving me any attention!" I laughed at how annoyed that one little action made him. I typed out "maybe if you didn't ignore the dog, I wouldn't ignore you" and the text-to-speech read my message out to Schlatt on stream. At hearing this, Schlatt stopped and said "Are you fucking kidding me? That's what this has been about? Chat, I've gotta go." He quickly ended the stream and then appeared in our bedroom doorway a second later.

He approached Pandora, got down to her level to look her in the eye, and said "Pandora, I am sorry I have not given you enough attention. From now on I will work on giving you more attention.""And?" I asked. Schlatt rolled his eyes before saying "And I love you.""Now give her a kiss to make it better." I said smugly. Schlatt eyed me for a moment, contemplating his options, before he gave the dog a quick kiss on the top of her head. As he stood up, he asked "Do I get my attention now?" I smiled and opened my arms to him, and he quickly laid down in my embrace. He sighed contentedly and rested his head on my chest, happy to finally get his cuddles for the day. "Now was that really so bad?" I asked jokingly. "You suck." He muttered.

I laughed and then reached for my phone when I saw a notification pop up. "Hey Schlatt.""Hmm?""Schlatt's Girlfriend's Dog Is Getting More Love Than Him is trending right now on Twitter." He groaned aloud and closed his eyes, not wishing to hear anymore about that. "Oh, and Tommy just tweeted at you." I informed Schlatt. "I don't care to see what the child has sent. We all know he's just jealous because he don't get bitches anyway." I laughed again and my put my phone down to wrap my arms back around my boyfriend. After some time, we both got up to get changed and ready for bed. Schlatt made sure to be nice to Pandora when he told her goodnight. We climbed into bed and he immediately held me close to him. I felt happy and safe surrounded by his arms and soon drifted off to sleep.