ALANA

33

ALANA

"Oh that is beautiful!" Mama exclaims, looking at my scattered sketches on the art pad.

"Thankyou." I blush, putting away my things as I sit to face her.

It has been a month now since my wedding. Time went by faster than it used to before. My life's new routine now seemed to be my normal. It was pleasant, I was beginning to learn alot of new things.

It has also been a month since I have seen father or his wife. I had never noticed before, how their constant berating made me anxious all the time. Recently, I had begun to understand myself and my feelings. Mama had allowed me to watch television, whatever I wanted. It had made me see things in a different light.

I had also gotten my own cell phone. It was so I could contact everyone. I had not known having a cellphone was so entertaining. There was alot to do on there.

I had also gotten to buy an art pad and some pencils to sketch. I enjoyed it very much. And I had also been allowed to read whatever I wanted from the library here. Life had been treating me well.

My relationship with Ares was the same. We would see eachother in the morning, I would do his tie and he would leave for his work, we wouldn't exchange any words. He would sometimes miss dinner and come home very late, I would wait up but he had asked me not to many times. I still did. We never would talk unless it was him giving me intructions for something. I thought it was fine this way, he had no reason to get angry if I kept to myself. I did not ever want to see him the way he was on the night of our wedding.

"So, I have some sad news." Mama says making frown.

"Is everything okay?" I ask her.

"Sí, but me and your papa and the boys have to go to a wedding in America." She tells me.

"That is not sad news?" I say.

"Well, I had hoped I could take you, but Ares has said no to going, he has work he says. Oh darling I hope you won't hate me for going" She sighs with a sad look. I smile at her.

"Oh but mama, that is not a problem at all, I am sure we will get many chances again to go together, this time you should go, and have so much fun! Ofcourse I won't, that is absurd." I exclaim. I really do think it is wonderful they all get to go.

We chat for a while, she tells me that they have to leave just tomorrow.

I am very nervous to be alone with Ares. Without everyone present, I am sure it will be very awkward with us. But I cannot let that get in the way of sending everyone off with a smile.

~

Later we all sit at the dinner table, as everyone discusses the plan of their trip.

"It will be 2 and a half weeks, I am sure that is a good amount of time, I have had all the arrangements made already." Ares informs. He seems to be suppressing anger and frustration.

They all continue talking and soon, dinner is over and we retire to our rooms.

"You can go with them if you want." I hear Ares comment as I am taking off my earrings.

I turn around and frown at him.

"I- I do not wish to." I tell him. He looks at me, his tongue pokes out inside of his cheek, eyes sharp and calculating.

"I will be very busy with work, it is a disarray these days to keep track off, you will be bored with no one else in the house. You should go." he says, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. He now is very comfortable wearing no shirt around me. I do not mind it, given I am the one invading his space.

My heart drops at his words.

"Do y-you want me to leave? I- I can't go alone, going without my husband, it would be very frowned upon. I can sleep in the other room i-if that's what it is." I say, my voice taking a desperate tone.

I cannot imagine what people would think if I go. I do not even want to go.

"Did I say that?" he snaps making me flinch away. "If you do not want to go don't. I was just saying so you don't fucking rot here alone." he says aggressively, walking into the bathroom then slamming the door making me jump.

I feel my lip tremble as tears spring to my eyes. I decide to leave the room till he falls asleep. I do not know how I manage to anger the people I try hardest not to.

I walk through the quiet house, towards the secluded, big library. It is so peaceful and beautiful there, it transports me to a place where I feel content.

~

I wake up the next morning, thanking my luck that Ares was still asleep. I had snuck in late last night when he had been asleep. I do not want to do anything to anger him further. I quickly shower and change, then slip out before his alarm goes off at 8:00.

I help in the kitchen like I do everyday, setting the table and sit down when everyone does. Ares comes in last, and sits down next to me. I instinctively lean away from him. I cannot anger him. Everyone is leaving today. I cannot.

After breakfast, when Ares goes upstairs, I ask mama if she can do his tie for him. I made an excuse about how I had dropped an earring in the kitchen and I had to find it before it got sweeped.

She had agreed and I took a breath of relief when he left for work.

Later in the day, everyone leaves and the house is left feeling empty and lonely. I frown as I walk through the quiet halls towards the library, maybe I can read a book to distract myself.