ALANA

65

ALANA

I shakily breathe out after having an outburst on him. I do not know where I mustered up the courage to say everything that was on my mind, but I did, and it feels freeing.

I am tired of always going with what other people want. I shouldn't have to just so people will like me. There's only so much I can bare.

Once I am sure he has left, I walk out and downstairs to start on the cake that Carlos requested. He never fails to make me laugh, it's what I love about him.

~

"I had the guest rooms cleaned and stocked with everything they may need, I just wanted to make sure about the dinner menu." I say to mama as we all sit in the living room, eating the cake I made.

"Oh perfect dolcezza, it is like I do not even have to lift a finger now that you are here." mama smiles gratefully at me. I return her smile. "I think that," she continues talking about what should be in dinner and we look over the other arrangements for the guests as well.

Tomorrow, Mr. Salvatore and his two children are coming to Rome so papa has invited them to stay with us while they are here. I am excited to see Isla again, I have been telling mama how cute and fun she is.

We all continue talking over dessert, and I feel a pair of eyes on me continuously. I know it is Ares looking at me from across the room, but I do not return his gaze. I will not let myself fall prey to whatever confusions he has about what he wants.

Soon, everyone retires to their respective rooms to turn in for the night, but Griff stops Xander to talk to him, so I walk up alone.

I get in, change and walk back into the room to see Ares now here, standing shirtless outside of the closet. I take my eyes away from him, getting into the couch and covering up to my face so I can sleep.

~

"Alana, wake up it's just a dream baby." I hear someones deep soothing voice making me whimper and cling onto the comforting presence trying to get away from the terrifying dream.

"Shh, it's okay, you're okay." I press myself against the warmth that saved me, whimpering as I don't want to let go. I cry into him. The image of Fathers lifeless body haunting my senses.

"I killed him." I sob.

ARES

I wake up in the middle of the night to loud crying and whimpering. Undoubtedly coming from my wife. I quickly get out of bed, rushing to her, brushing back her hair from her shaking body.

"Alana wake up it's just a dream baby." I urge, smoothing her hair to bring some comfort. She whimpers, clutching her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly.

I sigh at finally feeling her touch, even if it is an unconscious action, she still makes me feel like I have some of her back. She sobs, shaking against me.

"Shh, it's okay, you're okay." I soothe, pulling her closer so she is now almost sitting on my lap. She presses herself against me, shivering as another sob leaves her.

"I killed him." she cries. I know exactly what she is talking about.

"No, you didn't. He was going to hurt you, a soldier protecting his queen killed him, okay? Shh." I try to stop her from crying.

Soon, her sobs morph into little hiccups that rock through her whole body as she clings onto me for dear life. I decide to bring her to bed, so I stand making her jerk and whimper.

"It's okay, I am right here, we're going to bed sí?" I assure her.

I tuck her under the covers, getting in beside her, holding her shaking body.

"I am right here. Im not leaving" I tell her, kissing her hair.

I take a deep breath in, savoring this moment. I know she's going to be mad when she wakes up properly, but I couldn't just let her cry herself to sleep. It kills me hearing her scared cries.

I hold her tighter, feeling a sleep of contentment taking over.

~

I wake up first, Alana still in my arms, laying almost on top of me. I brush her hair away from her face, looking at her beautiful face. She stirs, scrunching her nose as she pulls away, looking up at me. Her eyes widen as she scrambles to get up hurriedly.

I stand up on the opposite side of the bed facing her too.

"What what," she stutters, now standing up next to the bed.

"You had a nightmare, I couldn't leave you alone to cry, I had to-"

"No you didn't have to do anything." she cries softly, wrapping her arms around herself in a vulnerable position. "Please stop, I am so tired." she whimpers. My hands twitch, needing to hold her.

"Alana please don't do this. I am your husband-"

"No you aren't." She says. "You don't want to be my husband, you were forced into this, as was I, you can't have it both ways!" she shouts angrily. She sobs, breathing hard, then whispering; "Why do you want to hurt me so badly" she cries, closing her eyes as more tears slip out.

My heart feels like it is tearing open, nothing but regret and despair filling my chest.

That's the opposite of what I want to do to her. But she's right it's what I manage to do every single time.

I look at her crying form a little longer before leaving the room, the sight of her breaking infront of me is too much to bear.

Fuck you Ares.