ALANA

78

ALANA

I am now in bed in Ares and my room. After we left the hospital, Ares had been really sweet. He kept apologizing and saying he will never again hurt me and never make me cry again.

I cried at that.

I thought about the fact that I may be giving in too easily. But if he is willing to promise me, and show me that he wants me, and this marriage and this baby, then I want nothing more than to be with him. To make this family work.

All I have ever wanted was two parents who love me. And if I can give that to my child, then I don't want my personal vendetta getting in the way of that.

And I do love Ares. I do not ever see myself with another man. He will always be the first and only man I love and gave parts of myself, that no one else will ever have.

"Baby? Are you crying?" I hear him ask making me look up from caressing my tummy.

"No." I sniffle.

"What's wrong." he frowns, sitting down next to me.

"I just feel mean." I pout, sitting up to bring myself closer to him.

"What for?"

"I haven't been nice to you. You have been the nicest and I haven't been returning your nice-" I stop. "-ness." I frown. "Is that a word?" I ask him.

Ares chuckles, pressing a sweet kiss to my mouth.

"Baby you are plenty nice. I wasn't expecting you to reciprocate the same way, I screwed up, you did nothing wrong." He says, rubbing my swollen lip.

"That's true." I whisper. "But I do love you, and I haven't said that." I tell him. His eyes soften.

"Really?" he asks me, his voice soft. I nod. "It's not easy for me to say those words." He starts. "But I want you to know that I do. I have and I will, always." He tells me. We just remain looking at each other with giddy smiles.

It's quite strange to see him smile, I remember times when I would do anything to see him smile, I really love him. I hope we can always be like this.

"Is that a boat on your arm?" I ask, looking at the tattoo that hadn't been there before. "It looks so familiar." I whisper, tracing the slightly bumpy skin.

"Sí, it's new, I stole it from an artist I love very much." That makes me look at him.

"You love the artist?" I frown. I thought it was hard for him to say that. "Who is it?" I ask, maybe I have seen their work before, that is why it looks familiar.

"Sí, she is very talented so I have alot of her work on me." he comments. Her. It's a girl.

"Oh." I whisper. "Do you know her personally?" I ask him. The way he talks about her is making my stomach have a weird sinking feeling.

"Oh yes. Very personally. She is all I think about." He hums. I feel my nose sting.

"Did you also do sex with her?" I ask, my voice sounds bitter.

"I did, but it was different with her. She was magical. I decided I would never ever do it with anyone else after her, because she deserves my undivided respect." He tells me. I take my hand that was in his away.

My throat feels clogged up so I refrain from speaking. Does that mean he did it after we did it?

As I am trying to look anywhere but at him, my eyes catch the tattoo on his forearm. That looks exactly like the little birdy I always draw. I swallow.

"Is that also a new one from her?" I ask, pointing to the bird.

"Sí," that's so strange. "I have her name tattooed on me too, do you want to see?" he asks. My stomach drops, my lip trembling.