ALANA

71

ALANA

"Are you sure sweetheart?" Mama asks as she sadly looks at my bag of things.

"I'm sure. I am so sorry this happened, but please believe me when I say I tried. I really did. And I am so sorry I failed." I cry.

"Oh darling you didn't fail. It's my sons failure that he is loosing a gem. I am not a supporter of oppressing anyone, so you should do what your heart deems right." she sniffles, nodding. "But where will you go? I can ask Aaron to make arrangements-"

"No please don't. I don't want Ares to find out, he wont let me leave." I say.

I tell her that I have already made reservations at a hotel, far from Rome. I do not tell her where. I trust her but I don't want Ares to ever find out where I am. I am leaving my phone here too, theres no way he will find me.

I look around the room I have known as home for 5 months.

5 months. That's how long my marriage lasted. That's how long I dragged a union that was doomed when it started.

I slowly walk away from everything that was convenient but so incredibly difficult, towards everything that is unknown but sounds like my freedom.

ARES

I stressfully run a hand through my hair, taking the steps by two, rushing up to my wife.

I have to talk to her. She's right she deserves a chance to explain what I saw and prove me wrong. Make me believe that she is mine and mine alone.

I open the door to our room, but something feels off.

The room is empty. Not only void of her, but the lingering presence of her that remains is also absent. The air smells.. like bleach? And chemicals. Her scent, the scent of her perfume completely wiped away.

"What the fuck." I growl, walking into the closet. Her side is completely empty. Her clothes, her shoes, her little nightgowns everything is gone.

No.

My heart drops and I feel sick as I storm out of the room.

"Where the fuck is Alana?" I growl at the first maid I see.

"Don I do not know." she whimpers cowering away from me.

"Yeah? Then why the fuck does my room smell like fucking bleach, do you know that?" I seethe.

"The future Donna asked that your bathroom be cleaned with it so the smell of her perfume is not there to bother you anymore." she whimpers.

No.

"Leave." I say to her, and she runs away.

The world around me seems to shatter, nothing feeling real.

"Ares." I hear someone say. I turn around in my reverie, seeing mama.

"Where is she?" I ask, the anger dissipating, nothing but pure need in my voice.

"She's gone." mama whispers.

"She can't fucking leave, we don't have divorces in this family."

"But she has. She asked your father to let her leave and as the first thing she had ever asked of him, he had to relent." She says, a shaky breath leaving her.

No. No no no no.

"I am so sorry figlio. I am sorry that your childhoods demons hastened you to grow up too soon. That they scared you so that you have vowed to never love." she cries. "I am sorry I couldn't protect you from this pain." She sobs.

"Then why didn't you stop her? She wouldn't have disobeyed you mama, you could have stopped her." My voice is completely foreign to me now.

"Because I couldn't stand in the way of her and her peace. I couldn't stop her from doing what her heart asked. Im sorry baby." She sobs, smoothing my hair. "I'm sorry you had to loose another person you held close to your heart." she whispers before walking away, sobbing.

I groan at the constant ache and sting in my chest. The constant reminder of what I feel for her. The constant reminder of what I lost.

"You are a crazy man Xander." I hear Ethan behind me. "I kept fucking asking you to listen to me but you are such an arrogant piece of shit." He seethes, now standing infront of me. "I tried to tell you before, nothing happened, nothing was going on, I should not have pulled her in to comfort her but you blew up in her face, with no information of the truth!" he says.

"Her late fathers lawyer came and gave her account details to an account that her mother left her money in, and her mothers will. She read the will and she started having what looked clearly like a panic attack. My sister has them so I was helping her breathe again but you saw and made a big fuss. Now you've lost a woman you lucked out getting in the first place, just for the sake of your ego." he shakes his head. "Congratulations Xander, I hope it was worth it." He says, walking away.

Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck. Fuck.

I go back to our room, the room that used to be hers and mine. The room I would look forward to enter, just so I could get a look at my beautiful, innocent, pure wife.

I have never met someone more perfect, with a more pure heart. And I still doubted her. Hurt and belittled her.

My head pounds as I look down at my destructing hands. All they have ever done is destroy everything. Everything good. Everything bad.

But this is the first time I have destroyed something I love. And nothing has ever hurt more.

I rip away the covers from the bed, hating how untouched it looks. How perfect everything is. How empty. I destroy everything. Throwing things against walls, crashing mirrors until my foot collides with something under the couch. I look down to find the sketchbook.

The one my Alana would draw in, the one thing she did besides reading that made her face look peaceful and carefree, as if she were in another world.

I pick it up, sitting down on her couch with it, resting my head on it

Holding everything I have left of her in my hands. Feeling helpless for the second time in my life.