ALANA

75

ALANA

I found out last night that I am pregnant.

With a baby. I am pregnant with a baby that is half me, and half Ares. Because I had sex with him. That part is a little odd to me still.

All of my nausea and backache are because of that too. Naomi told me that all pregnant women get nauseous all the time and they have back aches too. I don't think I have fully processed the information yet.

I couldn't stop crying after seeing all 5 test that I took come back positive. I also felt really really stupid for not having noticed a bump on my own body. It was so silly of me. My baby is definitely a surprise, but that does not mean I will love it any less. I will give him or her the best life. A life that always makes them feel wanted and loved. No one telling them that they are unwanted or a burden.

Which is exactly why I have made the very difficult decision of not telling the baby's father. I had decided when I left him that I would never bother him again. It is one of the reasons I left. And going to him and telling him that I am carrying his baby is like making his worst nightmare come true.

The image of having the perfect life with him, with our little family, has presented itself in my mind many times since last night. The thought of how happy it would make mama when she found out.

The thought made my heart ache. The thought of never seeing him again, especially now, that I have something I do not want him to find out about. A piece of him, growing in me.

And besides, in real life, he would not be happy. Those images of our happy life are just that, images in my head.

He expressed very clearly that he never wants children. And I do not wish to be the source of inconvenience to him ever again. And I absolutely will not allow anyone to ever call my baby a burden. I am capable of providing a life for my baby on my own and I will. My baby will never feel like they are not wanted or are a hassle. I spent my entire life like that and in no circumstances will that be the life I provide.

I have never stuck up my neck for myself but my instinct to protect the life that I am making inside of me was sudden and strong. Accident or not, all babies deserve love and appreciation. I already love my baby and I don't need his or her father's help to raise them.

I am very obsessed with my small little bump. It is very adorable to look at. Last night I even had a dream about holding the baby. In my dream, it was a boy and for some reason, I have a feeling that it is going to be a boy.

Anyway, I am back at work today. Beatrice and I were talking about how a baby is expensive but I told her that I have some money saved up. The amount in my mothers account was a lot and I do not use it for anything, so now it will be used for my baby. Plus I still work here ad I make money here as well.

It's 4pm on a Thursday. And I am again on waitressing duty today. Beatrice is not here today, she is visiting her grandparents out of town. So it is only me upfront since Naomi and Seb are busy preparing all the food. As I am brewing coffee for a customer, I hear the bell ring on the door.

"Benvenuto!" I call out, as I finish up the coffee.
(Welcome in)

I turn around and hand the coffee to the rather large man, as he thanks me. I see the new customer sitting in a booth at the corner, facing away from me, so I grab my note pad, walking over to them.

I scribble off the previous orders as I approach their table.

"Cosa posso fare per te oggi?" I ask, absentmindedly.
(What can I do for you today)

"Come home."

The deep voice makes me freeze and my heart drops to my stomach. I look up to find exactly who I suspected the voice belonged to.

"Fanculo pecorella, sei uno spettacolo per gli occhi irritati." he whispers, standing up. I quickly back away.
(Fuck little sheep you are a sight for sore eyes.)

"What are you doing here." I ask, horrified.

"I am here for you." he says. I back away from him again.

"No, I left, you weren't supposed to find me." I frown.

"I don't usually leave what's mine behind. I didn't plan on doing it now either." He smirks.

"Ares." I say seriously. His eyes darken.

"Fuck I missed you baby." he sighs.

Baby.

My heart drops even more. Almost like, to my bum. He can't find out.

"Is something wrong here?" Sebastian appears behind Ares making him turn around.

"Who the fuck are you?" Ares growls at him. Oh no. Seb looks over at me questioningly.

I quickly bring up my hand, pointing to my ring, trying to somehow convey who he is to Seb.

"I am her fiancé, who are you?" Seb says confidently. Oh crap!

Ares growls again, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Alana-" Ares begins to say but he gets cut off.

"Please don't bother my fiancé like-" Seb starts again but is cut off aswell.

"Call my wife your fiancé one more time and I will break you face." Ares growls with menace taking a step towards him but I quickly hold his arm to stop him. Oh noo.

"Uh, Seb, could you give us a moment please?" I ask him, seeing as his face looks like a ghost. He nods, quickly walking away.

"I swear to God, Alana, if I find out you've let some man touch you, I will deliver his hands to you in a box" He growls, backing me into the wall. "And you know I don't bluff." He says.

My hand protectively goes to my tummy, as I hold his gaze.

"I am not obligated to listen to you." I say, trying to sound as tough as I can. "We don't have any relation anymore."

"No? When did we get a divorce darling? I seem to not have any recollection of that." he says, smirking, pressing his body into mine.

"That's because you were supposed to send it to me." I say accusingly.

He glances down at my hand on my stomach.

"Then why haven't you taken off your ring?" He asks. "The ring I put on your finger. Not some scrawny little boy." he growls.

I sigh, rolling my eyes.

"Seb is gay, he just said that because we have this thing where whenever some guy is flirting with me he acts as my boyfriend-"

An angry grunt makes me stop talking.

"What?" he seethes.

I sigh, annoyed, pushing him off me.

"Stop it, you're squeezing the-" I stop myself. "You were suffocating me." I quickly make up.

"I have work to do Ares, go home." I say, walking away to the counter.

Oh what do I do.