Paper Memories

Chapter 11-III

Chapter 11-III

"This is the ladies room, get out right now!" Ricos is not letting the conversation end. Kahit ng makalabas kami ng infinity room ay hindi pa rin niya ako nilubayan. Not even when I run to the comfort room." Lumabas ka na bago pa may makita pa satin! Kanina pa tayo pinagtitinginan!"

"Wala namang ibang tao."

"That's not the point, just how crazy are you?!" Sigaw ko sa kanya, at halos ipagtulakan ko na siya palabas ng pintuan."You wanna know how angry people are to me and why? It's because I said the truth, and truth inconvenience them! Ayaw nila sa snitch and hindi sunod-sunuran sa kanila!"

Ricos stepped towards me, but then he turned his head towards the mirror on the sink. Observing our reflection. Fucking lunatic." What could you ever do to correct that?"

"Nothing." Deklara ko.

"Oh, that's why." Ngisi niya.

Napapikit ako, bumabaon na ang kuko sa balat ko." They won't accept me for being truthful or for being who I am; there's nothing to ever do but just live on with that and move on. Pinalayo ko yung mga taong malalapit sakin dahil ayaw kong mas masira pa ako o makasakit ako. Wala nang may gusto sa akin, kaunti na lang ang natira----Sila Ellie at Ralph na lang."

Ricos was about to reply, but suddenly we heard giggling voices from outside. Kaya naman bigla akong hinila papasok sa isang bakanteng cubicle. I was startled and I almost lost my balance, I couldn't resist." Let's hide,you don't want to be seen, right Ate Sheena?"

"Ah sige. Sabi nila hindi ka dapat masaktan kung di naman totoo, pero mapipigilan mo bang hindi damdamin yun?" Bulong ko. I hate how he plays with his words while we are trapped inside the cubicle because he's leaning on the door. Hawak-hawak ko ang magkabilaang braso niya para magkaroon kami ng distansya." Lies hurts too,and my life is being ruined by a lie."

"Ah, but I think you're being hurt by the truth."

"Huwag mo sabihin yan sa isang inoseneng tono, isa ka sa kanila."

Gusto ko sana siya pwersahing palabasin ako, kaso may mga babae na pumasok sa comfort room. Ricos is too slender; I can feel the sickness in his body and mind. I can now even notice what Nabi pointed out before: his eyes. I can't see his pupils change or react to me. " Open the damn door, Ricos."

He place his finger on his lips." Listen, Ate."

Ang mga boses na ito, mga blockmates ko sila ng halos apat na taon."Hey, Sheena doesn't to want be loved. That slut either wants to be fucked or be worshiped. Kanina nga kahit yung may pagkabaliw nating classmate nagkakandarapa sa kanya, attention seeker yun masyado."

"Becareful of what you're saying about her. Sige ka ikaw naman ipaexpell nun." Her friend giggled, nangingibabawa ang salitang "expel" sa utak ko." She messed up when she isolated herself. Akala niya ata may hahabol sa kanya."

"Nobody would want to be with her anymore." My blockmate said." Reyna-reynahan at santa-santahan."

"But one thing confuse me, hindi naman lahat damay noon." Her friend raised." So I keep wondering why she's so alone when other could still get something from her. Do you get me?"

Sa una namayani ang katahimikan." That's how she wants it."

They started to leave, but I still heard their last reply." All alone?"

My system just shut down, I can't think straight anymore. Saka ko lang natadaan ko nasaan ako ng bigla akong niyakap ni Ricos. His skin is cold, while my own temperature is rising because of my emotions." Pinapaniwalaan mo ba sila? Katulad ka rin nila, Ricos?"

He mocked me." "Baka isa yan sa mga natural na kakayahan yan ng tao..."

" Wala kang alam, pero sa mata mo parang katulad ako ng mga pumapatay, nagnanakaw at nangloloko. Panghuhusga lang ba ang alam mo?" Asik ko sa kanya, sawa na akong magpasensya sa mga laro niyang hindi naman nakakatuwa." "I'm trying to be kind to you, but this is what you give in return."

He encircled his arms on my nape." Are you going to cry?"

Mas inilapit niya ang mapaglarong labi niya sakin." Back away, Ricos."

"Sheena madali lang sirain ang dignidad ng iba, lahat alam kung pano yun gagawin hindi man sila turuan." Paliwanag niya, pilit niyang hinaharap ang mukha ko sa kanya. He's getting closer. Too close." Pero ito pa isang totoo, hindi lahat ay kayang maging tao. Tulad mo."

I grimace." You don't know me."

He look at me deeply." Could I make you mine, Ate?"

I inhaled, I'm clenching my teeth to hard." Let go of me."

He smirked, inching his face closer." Can I show how I love you first?"

Isang sampal ang naging sagot ko, halos mapaupo siya sa lakas nito na siya namang naging pagkakataon ko para makalabas. Everything he do is just out of line, I instinctively even reach my lips, almost thinking he would kiss me and how poisonous it would be. I don't care where he wants to aim when he thinks he's entitled of me! " Why are you so obsessed with me? I don't need someone as crazy as you to be in love with me! You know what you are doing! Are you trying to make a slut they say I am?!"

"A-Ate. Ate Sheena." He defiantly shook his head." You're my Ate Sheena."

Halos kumapit na ako sa may sink para lang manatiling nakatayo. Napatingin ako sa kamay kong nakasampal sa kanya. I have blood on my hands." You don't know how the world works, freak!"

When Ricos lifted his head, I realized that he was bleeding. The blood is from him! Nang mapansin niya iyon ay unti-unti na siyang magsimula umiyak habang nakatingin sa akin ng may mata na naninisi." I'm sorry---I wasn't trying to do that nor mislead you, I'm sorry---- M-masakit Ate, I d-don't like pain I'd n-never get used to it. I-I won't do it again."

"Why are you so frail and crazy?!" Malakas na sigaw ko sa kanya dahil ako ngayon ang binabaliktad niya, I push him again out of fear and guilt." Why is nobody else hating someone like you?!"

Ricos face was almost covered in his own blood." M-masakit, Ate."

"Ikaw ay may gawa nito sa sarili mo, huwag mo sa akin ibaling. You stepped out of line! You're acting like a damned creep! " My legs step backwards." You ask for this, stop playing the victim!"

Parang sarili na lang ni Ricos ang kinakausap niya, panay punas siya sa luha at dugo na umaagos mula sa kanya. Mas lalo lang lumalakas ang paghikbi niya sa harap ko. More heartbroken. I clasped his bony wrist, wanting to make him snap out of his delusions. He shriek." Don't get mad at me! "

But I end up grabbing him by the hair." Kaninong kasalanan to?! "

"It's mine, its mine. It's my fault." He whimpered." I didn't mean to. Not again."

He keep flailing, so I held his wrist. Itinulak ko ang ulo niya patapat sa malakas na agos ng tubig sa gripo, kaso hindi niya makuhang pumirme kaya wala akong ibang magawa kundi lakasan ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanya. I push his head downwards so that the water would wash the blood away. " Stay still, you do what I told you! Huwag mo akong pahirapan!"

"I-I'm not! Kakampi mo ako, Ate!" Sagot ni Ricos.

I bit my lip." Then stop making me the bad guy!"

I just need to make this right.

Kailangan ko lang malinis ang mga luha at dugo sa mukha niya. Just enough to clean off his blood and forgot this ever happen. I was just surprise because oh his inappropriate actions, I need to take responsibilities for my actions, and he must do the same.I'm trying to help him but he keep moving! Matatapos naman agad to kung hindi siya galaw ng galaw. Magiging ayos lang siya, hindi kailangan makita ng iba.

He just need to go home and not tell anyone!