Paper Memories

Chapter 34-II

Chapter 34-II

          "I thought you were Percival."

"Bakit mo naman po iispin yun, Ate? I look nothing like him." Ricos respond while wearing the mask I made for him. My classmate is standing beside the metal mesh by the rooftop as he gave me his widest grin. He gestured me to come closer. And like always I indulge him. Wala na yung adrenaline ko, bigat na lang ang nararamdaman ko." Baka nam-miss mo na po siya kaya nakikita mo siya. But you came at the right time, the festival looks so pretty from here!"

I exhaled, and limped to be beside Ricos." Namalikmata ako..."

Ricos shrug with all smiles."Nasan na ba siya?

"Out of town, somewhere far away. Hindi ko alam kung kailan babalik." That's how far I could lie today when I never really know what happened to my self-proclaimed painting. It's not like I can claim that I break up with my fake boyfriend." But you see, I did think that maybe he was here to surprise me."

"Maybe he's gone for good." Ricos uttered.

"I-I wouldn't wish that---never." I defended."

"But you want to change him, like how you want to change everyone." Ricos softly explain, his slender hands gripping on the metal mesh that divide us from the festivities down below. Lumalakas yung hangin, kaya mas pinanliitan ko siya ng mata dahil sa pag-iiba niya ng usapan." Oh? Isn't it true? You want people to be like your ideals, you want real things---people to be exact, to be conform to your fantasies."

"I like Percival the way he is."

"Maybe that's why you like art--- you can make a fake reality with it."

"I'm not a selfish and vain person that wants to change anyone like that."Napapalakas na ang boses ko sa kanya, louder than the announcements for the art month celebration. My heart is pounding faster, and I can feel time caving in." I like people the way they are, I use art to depict the world the way it is. I wouldn't dare to attempt to make a mere imitation. Palaging kong inaalala na hindi malalamangan ng replica ang orihinal, Ricos."

"You tried to, kaya nga magkamukha si Percival at Ralph, diba?"

"Huh? It's just a coincidence they resemble each other. At tao si Percival!"

"If you say so, Ate. I'd believe you." Ricos chuckled as he started to playfully pull the mesh and cling to it like he's a small child playing. Patingin-tingin pa siya sa art festival sa baba at mga naglilinyahang booth doon na para bang hindi kabaliwan ang mga sinasabi niya sa akin. I'm already thinking of stepping away but just like how I'm foolishy attached to Percival, I'm also drawn into Ricos uncanniness." But also believe me when I say that deep inside you want to change people, Ate."

"Ate Sheena! Kanina pa kita hinahanap."

"Oh! It's Ronald, you should go Ate. He must be worried---but be careful."

"What for? He's a good kid. If you were nicer and behave better, papayag sana akong magkasama kayo." I grimace at Ricos statement, Ronald is just by the rooftop's door. Hindi agad ako nakabalik, o baka sinundan niya ako. O baka kanina pa siya nakikinig? Ricos teasing is making me have bad thoughts. The December gust is raging now." But Ronald would just get hurt being with you, you remind of someone."

"Do hope the kid you're hurting doesn't bite back."

"I-I'm not hurt--- stop being twisted, Ricos!"

"Bakit ka ba nandito? May sugat ka pa." Ronald exclaimed to me when I almost fall to his arms as I come closer. Humihina na ang hangin pero parang pati siya nahihirapan sa bawat galaw niya. First his eyes could only worry for me, but he started to look behind me. At Ricos, the fucking replica. He should stop that, or else I'll indeed use Ricos to torment and remind Ronald of his missing brother. " A-akala ko hindi kaya magkaayos? Siya ba ang pinuntahan mo?"

"Akin na ang camera mo, Ron. Cellphone din." Malamig na utos ko.

"Bakit? Mamaya ko na ipapakita yung pictures, umuwi na tayo." Nakita ko ang hesitation niya, at halos napahigpit siya ng hawak sakin habang inaalalayan niya ako tumayo. Maybe Ricos is right, maybe this kid could betray me. Baka may hindi pa ako alam, baka kasabawat siya ni Percival. My feelings are too much that I ended up embracing him despite my doubts. He was startled but he ended up hugging me back. My eyes were close as I try to fight my thoughts." Hinahanap ka ulit sakin ni Ralph, ano ba talagang nangyayari sayo? Mas hindi kita maintindihan ngayon."

I could hear Ronald heartbeat, and his soft whisper." Uwi na tayo..."

When I opened my eyes, Ricos words came back to me. Kinain ako ng mga iniisip ko, at wala akong kontol sa lumabas sa bibig ko at ang nasabi ko kay Ronald." You are worth changing."